“I have generated hatred and anger, I do not deserve forgiveness” –

Filippo Turetta was recently arrested, on November 19, 2023, by the German police in Leipzig after the long escape following the abandonment of the body of Giulia Cecchettin, killed by him, near Lake Bracis, in Pordenone. He decides to write by hand, in cursive and in black pen, a letter to his parents from the prison of Halle, awaiting extradition. “I would understand and accept if from now on you want to forget me and deny me as a son and it would probably be the best choice for your life. I myself do not know if I still have the courage to show myself to you. I think that a dead son would probably be better than a son like me”, we read in the letter acquired by the Court of Assizes of Venice whose content was anticipated by Corriere della Sera.

“I’ve been here for about 48 hours. So far here in Germany everyone has been very professional and good, no one has beaten or tortured me. And I think this is a very positive thing. I’m a little scared to go back to Italy also for this reason. I didn’t know and I wouldn’t have imagined that I would become so famous and this scares me a lot. I’ve generated so much hate and so much anger. And I deserve it. Yes but all this is terrible, I’ve made the world worse in some way. I deserve all this after what I’ve done. I haven’t even managed to kill myself. I’ll live my whole life in prison, I won’t be able to graduate, meet people, have a family and enjoy what I already have.”

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Then, the words for the ex-girlfriend and classmate. «Above all, I lost the most important person in my life, the person who is everything to me and who I have been thinking about non-stop every day for two years, the most beautiful and special person I could ever meet and all this because of me. I don’t know why I did it, I never thought or wanted anything like this to happen. I’m not bad, I swear. I wish everything could go back and nothing had happened».

She doesn’t ask for forgiveness, Turetta. “There is no forgiveness or anything like that and I don’t want it, I don’t deserve it. I have ruined the lives of so many people, too many, without thinking about it first. I hope that all this doesn’t influence your life for the worse. I hope that no one judges you negatively, looks at you badly, ruins your work situation or your love life or your friendships. You have absolutely nothing to do with it, in fact, you should be helped because you have always been excellent parents, you have always educated me in the best way…”

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He writes that he also blames himself for not having the strength to end it all. “I swear, if only I had the instant suicide button here with me I wouldn’t hesitate to press it these days. I didn’t want to escape or run away or anything. I just wanted to be able to kill myself somehow. I’m a coward and weak and unfortunately I didn’t succeed. I tried to suffocate myself with a plastic bag over my head but in the end I tore it off. I wanted to have a fatal accident, a head-on collision with a wall or tree, that would leave me no escape but I didn’t succeed in that either. I drove a lot but every time I accelerated I either braked or swerved. Without achieving the desired result. I didn’t pursue the idea of ​​throwing myself under a train because I didn’t want you to be responsible for paying damages or repaying money. The method that seemed to me to be the best was to stab myself in some way. You read about so many suicides like this around. I really envy those who had the great courage to do it, unlike me. I spent most of the last few days sitting in the car with the knife pointed at my throat or chest waiting to be able to strike the blows”. On October 25, Turetta will submit to questioning by the judges also, his lawyer Giovanni Caruso explained yesterday, “to honor Giulia’s memory”.