Who hasn’t had a fit of rage or burst into tears at a time they mightn’t afford to stop? To carry all this with health is emotional management.
All of us have needed to regulate intense emotions at some point. The energy of an anger with which we would have destroyed the planet, that of a joy that has left us without tears or that of a surprise with which we might have jumped over the highest basket.
Emotional regulation in these cases becomes a difficult job, especially if we do not have some tools or know some strategies that can help us right now. With them, we can prevent, for example, not getting stuck in a situation of great tension or not ending up acting once morest our interests in situations in which we are very angry.
How to regulate intense emotions
Emotions have an indisputable adaptive value. For this reason, the strategy of trying to encapsulate them, to send them to the back of our minds so that they pollute less does not usually work. First, because they are unavoidable, and second, because they are necessary.
However, it is just as necessary to manage them properly. Doing so will not only allow you to better resolve conflicts, but also losses and even, why not, prolong emotional states of positive valence -which we can also obtain interesting results if we manage them well-.
1. Understand your emotions
Observe your emotions when they appear. Analyze when they arise, how intense they are, what happens to make them disappear. Many times we disconnect from our emotional world, partly because of its automatic nature and partly because of the hectic life we lead.
However, this introspection exercise is the best starting tool you can develop. There are many techniques for this, from mindfulness to keeping an emotional diary. I chose the one that works best for you.
2. Remove yourself from situations that produce or feed that emotional state
When we talk regarding the importance of getting to know each other, we refer, indirectly, to issues like the one we are dealing with today. If we have just been given good news, it may not be the best time to expose ourselves to that periodic family meeting in which we usually end up feeling bad. Perhaps this is also not the time to start watching a documentary or reading a book whose objective is social criticism. On the other hand, it may be a good time to look for those people who usually make us feel good or give that comedy that we had on the list of pending movies a chance.
We are dynamic beings. In order not to lose control, a good strategy is to engage in activities in which the emotional state we find ourselves in cannot find a way to feed. We can achieve this effect by protecting the control of our attentional system and actively directing our behavior at this time. As great as the temptation may be, this is not the time to do what the body asks of us.
3. Listen to others
Viewers of your emotional behaviors have an interesting perspective to add to your understanding of your emotions. Ask them how you show yourself to others when you have intense emotions, how they feel, what they would change regarding all this. If you want to learn to manage your emotions to improve your relationships, this exercise is essential.
4. Do physical exercise
On many occasions, feelings are intensified due to stress. In addition to releasing tension, exercise is useful for regulating hormonal processes related to emotionality, such as serotonin levels.
Although at first you do not feel the relationship between emotions and feeling, with the passage of time you will end up making the connection.
5. Train yourself in emotional management techniques
In addition to the personal measures you can take, there are techniques created especially to regulate intense emotions. For example, there is the STOPP call, which follows the steps below:
– Stop: stop dead and stop everything that is being done and said.
– Take a breath: take a breath, literally. Breathe until you stop the emotional escalation.
– Observe: observe, make yourself aware of the situation and how it is developing.
– Pause: a second pause to recreate yourself in the control you are taking over your emotions.
– Proceed: get going. You have already lowered the emotional tension and you can make decisions less influenced by the intensity of what you feel.
This and many others, such as the four-step technique, will help you identify, accept and manage intense emotions in a short period of time. Remember that they take time to master, so don’t despair if they don’t work at first.
6. Take care of your health
Like exercise, eating a healthy diet and getting a good night’s sleep may not seem related to your emotions. However, you will know that nobody is in a good mood when they do not sleep well.
Also, and believe it or not, the way you eat is influencing your emotions, so remember: mens sana in corpore Sano.
Source: The Mind is Wonderful
