2024-08-23 13:38:33
Having trouble approaching strangers or asking for information in a store? Panicked and afraid of exposing yourself? We reprogram our brains to take risks.
Stop feeling like you’re the center of attention
Are you sure everyone is staring at our new hairstyle? This is the spotlight effect, which causes us to pay more attention to details that concern us than others. Of course, our loved ones will notice the new bangs, and it really changes our look. But it’s almost certain that no one will notice that our shirts are stained. If we think we said something stupid at a dinner party, it’s a safe bet that the next day, our guests will be thinking more about the day ahead than our stupid remark. Let us rest assured: people have other priorities Instead of scrutinizing our every move.
If you plan to participate in a conversation with a small group of people at night, it takes less than 5 seconds to start secreting cortisol, the stress hormone that forces you to give up. To avoid making excuses to give up, we saturate the brain, for example counting 1, 2, 3; 1, 2, 3… in his mind until he says the first word start discussion.
Hypnosis when you are shy
This state allows you to overcome unconscious obstacles, get rid of automatic thoughts (“I would never dare”, “what would I say”…) and increase your confidence. You can start with a professional, or listen to imaginary stories and project yourself into situations where you overcome your fears. For example: “33 Self-Hypnosis Stories to Heal Your Emotional Woundsby Olivia Favre and Xavier Faye (Le Courrier du Livre).
force yourself to take action
Don’t do everything online But forcing yourself to call a restaurant to make a reservation, to go to the movie theater box office to pick up your tickets instead of going to the machine… The more times you repeat an action (here talking to a person), the more it becomes a habit . Over time, new neural connections are created and actions become easier.
Learn to think positively to attract positivity
Afraid of throwing a party for our anniversary or approaching the lady who looks good in your yoga class? We observe her worries (“They’re going to be boring,” “I’m going to annoy her”), and then we reframe: “My friends are nice and they’ll get along,” “She’ll be happy to meet someone who can Chatting with people” before class. “Our brain is programmed to anticipate worst-case scenarios (survival problems): by anticipating ourselves in different ways, we train it to think more positively.
read. “Become a social magnet. End the fear of other people’s appearance”edited by Charlie Hyde. Albin Michel, 136 pages, €15.90. The author, a formerly shy spiritualist with a passion for psychology, shares his secrets to finally daring to interact with others.
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