2018-01-26 07:00:00
Encourage and empower your child without overprotecting him or, on the contrary, reprimanding him for the slightest error or poor grade: the right balance is not always easy to find. Our advice on how to achieve this.
Do not put counterproductive pressure
Advice from Brigitte Prot, educational psychologist and author of I’m not motivated, I’m not doing it on purpose (ed. The Harmattan):
“The desire to learn goes without saying in a human being. But from an early age, there can be obstacles to this desire. By his anguish, the parent puts counterproductive pressure on the child’s shoulders. Stress slows down motivation, especially when the child/adolescent feels that the bar is set too high: he cannot meet this expectation and finds himself in a situation of inhibiting debt.
The parent must trust your child’s resources, even if they are not the same as his. To let go, share fun activities with your child, and never mix the fields of leisure and school. Avoid over-assisting, remembering that autonomy is progressive and not innate. Finally, protect the child from family contexts that do not concern him. »
Set simple and realistic goals
Advice from Caroline Sahuc, clinical psychologist:
“Motivation for a child depends on the attraction of novelty, the pleasure of competition, recognition, the taste for surpassing oneself… The parent can help him develop his own motivation, such as practicing an activity or a job for the pleasure and satisfaction he derives from it. Beware of overstimulation : this ends up blocking him or slowing him down in his learning. It must be given simple, realistic and delimited objectives. »
Value your child and listen to him
Advice from Philippe Hindré, author of Succeed in school, less stress, more fun (ed. Hachette Education):
” A child does not work for him, but for his parents. To motivate their child, the parent must:
- value it and spend at least 10 minutes every day listening to him talk regarding what he did in school;
- follow it daily and provide him with a teaching methodology to help him work;
- establish rules of the gametell him what is expected of him in terms of results and actions, and demand that he work and adopt winning behavior;
- do not penalize the bad markbut non-compliance with the methodology put in place;
- help him at determine your long-term goal without breaking his dreams (too soon). »
The 5 essential points to remember
- To want to grow, a child’s first need is to feel secure. He also needs to be valued, guided, protected (and not overprotected). He needs his parent to be reliable and keep his promises and commitments to him.
- The right motivation must take into account the personality, the age and needs of the child.
- Phases of demotivation are normal, especially in adolescence, the age of all changes.
- Passivity and demotivation go together. It is therefore better to make children more active, by offering them transmissions in a “practical work” mode rather than in a “lectured course” mode.
- Motivating a child is above all spend time with him and listen to him, not organize a ministerial agenda for him.
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