The answer is not as obvious as it might seem at first glance!
The sexual side of life is very important for most men. We often hear that sex not only gives us pleasure and helps us get closer to a partner, but also brings great benefits to our body. What rhythm of sexual life is considered optimal for a man’s health?
What benefits does sex bring to our health?
Here’s what science and medicine says regarding the benefits of sex. He:
- Strengthens our immune system. “People who are sexually active are on average less likely to get sick,” says sexologist Yvonne Fulbright (PhD). Studies show that sexual intercourse once a week or more often increases the level of immunoglobulins A, which play an important role in protecting the body from infections (1).
- Gives a payload. Experts attribute sex to physical activity of medium intensity. During intercourse, we burn an average of 70 to 100 calories.
- Improves sleep. During orgasm, our body produces a large amount of prolactin (and during sex with a partner – much more than during masturbation), which, among other things, has a relaxing effect. Prolactin, in combination with other hormones that are produced during orgasm (oxytocin, endorphins, etc.), promotes falling asleep. For men, quality sleep is also important for maintaining healthy testosterone levels.
- May reduce the risk of prostate cancer (2).
- Helps control blood pressure — regular sex protects once morest pressure surges during periods of stress (3).
- Extends life. Studies show that in middle and older age (45–59 years), overall mortality is lower among men who have regular orgasms (4).
How often does the average person make love?
According to a survey conducted among users of the Health Mail.ru project, 42% of Russians enter into intimate relationships several times a month, 40% – several times a week. At the same time, only 5% of respondents make love once a day or more often, and 13% have not lived sexually at all over the past year.
Interestingly, in the United States (and many other countries) over the past ten years, the average frequency of sexual intercourse has declined markedly in all age groups – but most of all among young people.
Sociologists and sexologists suggest that one of the reasons may be the widespread use of electronic entertainment – especially social networks and computer games, which for many young people partially or completely replace relationships with a partner.
However, middle-aged Americans have become less likely to engage in sexual intercourse (in 2009 they had an average of 63 sexual acts per year, and in 2018 – only 47) (5).
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How does the frequency of intercourse affect happiness and psychological well-being?
A 2015 study of married couples found that couples who had sex more often did feel happier, but having sex more than once a week no longer made them happier or more joyful.
“In many couples, partners feel that they are “obliged” to make love as often as possible, even if a sincere desire does not arise. In fact, daily sex for many of us is redundant and even tiring. “At least once a week” is a more realistic goal for most families,” said lead author of the study, Canadian sexologist Amy Muise.
The need for sex is highly individual.
Our sexual needs depend on many factors – including the state of health, psychological mood, stress level, relationship with a partner, but our innate characteristics, which sexologists call the sexual constitution, also play a significant role. It is on them that our “basic” need for sex depends.
In domestic sexology, it is traditionally customary to distinguish three types of sexual constitution – weak, medium and strong (sometimes each of them is divided into several subtypes).
- Weak sexual constitution. Such people have relatively little interest in sex, begin sexual activity later, and puberty may be delayed. One or more sexual acts per month may be enough for them (with a very weak sexual constitution – several times a year).
- Average sexual constitution. A conditionally “usual” variant of human development – puberty takes place at standard times, sexual activity begins at the usual time, the degree of interest in sex also fits into the average. In most cases, people with such a sexual temperament are satisfied with the rhythm of sexual life 1-3 times a week.
- Strong sexual constitution. Such people are characterized by early puberty, an increased interest in sex, and often an early onset of sexual activity. Often they can perform several sexual acts in a row without significant interruptions. The desired frequency of sexual contact for them is daily or even several times a day.
In addition, in any society there is a relatively small number (regarding 1%) of people who have never experienced any interest in sex – they are called asexuals. Sometimes asexuality can be caused by hormonal disorders or developmental anomalies, but in most cases, no obvious abnormalities are found in asexuals.
Sexologists usually consider sexual intercourse 2-3 times a week as a conditional “norm”. Many couples eventually come to this rhythm of sexual life. At the same time, it is worth remembering that this “norm” is really conditional, and it can only be considered as an approximate guideline.
When the sexual needs of partners differ significantly, this can lead to sexual disharmony and relationship tension.
If you can’t find a rhythm of intimate life that would suit both, you should consult with a psychologist-specialist in working with couples, or a sexologist.
- Charnetski CJ, Brennan FX. Sexual frequency and salivary immunoglobulin A (IgA). Psychol Rep. 2004 Jun;94(3 Pt 1):839-44. doi: 10.2466/pr0.94.3.839-844. PMID: 15217036. https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/15217036/
- Rider JR, Wilson KM, Sinnott JA, Kelly RS, Mucci LA, Giovannucci EL. Ejaculation Frequency and Risk of Prostate Cancer: Updated Results with an Additional Decade of Follow-up. Eur Urol. 2016 Dec;70(6):974-982. doi: 10.1016/j.eururo.2016.03.027. Epub 2016 Mar 28. PMID: 27033442; PMCID: PMC5040619. https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/27033442/
- Brody S. Blood pressure reactivity to stress is better for people who recently had penile-vaginal intercourse than for people who had other or no sexual activity. Biol Psychol. 2006 Feb;71(2):214-22. doi: 10.1016/j.biopsycho.2005.03.005. Epub 2005 Jun 14. PMID: 15961213. https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/15961213/
- Davey Smith G, Frankel S, Yarnell J. Sex and death: are they related? Findings from the Caerphilly Cohort Study. BMJ. 1997 Dec 20-27;315(7123):1641-4. doi: 10.1136/bmj.315.7123.1641. PMID: 9448525; PMCID: PMC2128033. https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/9448525/
- Herbenick, D., Rosenberg, M., Golzarri-Arroyo, L. et al. Changes in Penile-Vaginal Intercourse Frequency and Sexual Repertoire from 2009 to 2018: Findings from the National Survey of Sexual Health and Behavior. Arch Sex Behav 51, 1419–1433 (2022). https://doi.org/10.1007/s10508-021-02125-2 https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s10508-021-02125-2
Read also:
How often should you have sex?
How to improve your sex life in marriage: 6 tips
Prevention, oxytocin, longevity: the health benefits of sex
