how do I know if I’m in this type of relationship?

2024-03-28 07:00:21

Have you ever heard of the term “situationship”? Increasingly fashionable, this type of relationship presents advantages and risks.

Last update : 28 mars, 2024

Are you dating someone, but seeing each other sporadically and not planning your relationship in the future? It is then likely that you find yourself in a “ situationship », a term that is increasingly fashionable among young people and dating applications.

In these relationships, the “casual” nature goes to another level. Without clarifying fixed labels or sexual exclusivity. For some, a comfortable and transparent type of bond; for others, a way of avoiding sentimental commitment. What does it actually mean and how do you identify it?

What is a situationship and what does it consist of?

This is a romantic relationship. but not recognized as formal or stable. In general, people who assume a situationship have more or less regular meetings. Although without firm commitments or future plans.

The term comes from an Anglicism which combines the words “relation” (ship) and “situation”, alluding to its informal nature. Instead of saying they are “in a relationship,” they are “in a situation.” In this romantic hybrid, the rules are set by each member and may or may not include sexual exclusivity.

Unlike “friends with benefits,” where it is common to pre-establish an erotic connection devoid of feelings, these relationships involve an emotional connection. However, it is unclear and not defined by conventional labels.

These relationships tend to last a few months or even a few years and then end or lead to another type of connection. It’s about having good, intimate momentswithout thinking about the usual path of commitment, coexistence, marriage and children.

Also read: 4 types of romantic relationships

What are individuals with this type of connection looking for?

In general, those in a similar relationship present themselves as single. Without breaking the link. It is possible to imagine an informal meeting during which a pleasant moment passed. For this reason, he repeated himself several times. During this period, a certain emotional connection was formed, and this is where the limit of situationship.

The connection is not denied, and certain projects can even be shared as a traditional couple. But it is not projected into the future: it is supposed to be temporary. Often these relationships arise in contexts where people stay together for a period of time. For example, on university campuses or during temporary trips to another city.

Meeting new people in new places is something that dating apps have made easier and more powerful in recent years. On the other hand, it is common for people who have recently broken up to look for new connections without yet making any formalities or commitments.

Situationship and types of people

To manage a situationship “, it is essential to be aware of your own feelings and those of others. In order to coincide and promote emotional responsibility. Those who are used to informal relationships will feel more comfortable with them. It is common for those who prioritize their professional, academic or other field to choose these connections.

On the contrary, people who seek constant stability and security, both in romantic and friendly relationships, do not have the best profile for situationship. The terrain of the indefinite can give rise to false expectations and even the anxiety of not projecting ourselves into the future..

Is this the phase preceding a traditional relationship?

Sometimes the connection develops into something more formal, but in many other cases it doesn’t. Indeed, the initial premise is closer to the negative, since the idea of ​​a limited and difficult to cross temporality persists.

However, partners have feelings and these can change over time. It is important to emphasize the need to be clear and honest with how we feel. As in any type of relationship, both people should feel comfortable communicating.

How can I identify if I am in a situationship ?

If you’ve started dating someone or haven’t defined the relationship in a while, identify these signs to know if you’re in a relationship. situationship.

You describe the link as “complicated”

This term can be considered the closest predecessor of situationship. Links of this type are neither casual nor formal relationships. And it’s possible they don’t have a label, because the conversation didn’t happen.

We are not talking about long-term projects

One of the clearest signs to identify these relationships. It is rare to discuss topics such as what to do in the coming years or to generate expectations for the future. The two partners also do not make joint plans for a date that is too late and do not talk about plans as a couple.

People see and talk to each other sporadically

Engagement on the frequency of conversations is almost zero. There are weeks where we talk a lot and others not.. This leads to last minute plans and appointments. It is common for partners to contact each other to see each other immediately if they are both available, while meetings in subsequent weeks are more difficult to arrange.

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Conflicting feelings

Sometimes it seems that the connection is progressing and we even imagine being with this person for a long time. However, the feeling can change quickly and become a distant possibility.

Disconnected personal lives

It is common for people to situationship move away from their family and friends. By not trusting the durability of the link, they prefer to avoid presentations and common momentsin order to avoid further explanations.

Open sexuality

The possibilities expand at this point. They may or may not have sexual exclusivity, but it is likely that the subject was not discussed. There situationship gives rise to other alternatives, such as couples having open relationships.

Benefits and risks of being in situationship

The links of a situationship are neither good nor bad. But they have certain advantages and disadvantages that should be taken into account.

Benefits

Without obligation. Those looking to get away from their romantic commitments can find comfort in a situationship.May give rise to other relationships. Although the specific rules are defined by each couple, in general it is not a fixed bond. This leaves room for open relationships.Less details. Appointments are more spontaneous and no explanation whatsoever is generally requested. The priority is to have a good time in complete relaxation.Maybe this will help you decide. During the duration of a “ situationship ”, it is possible to resolve internal questions such as “Do I want to be in a relationship or stay single?”Feelings May Be Involved. Although there is no accountability to the other person, this relationship leaves open the possibility of having deep conversations and forming some emotional connection.

Disadvantages

This is not suitable for lovers. There are people who fall in love more easily than others. They only need to share a few intimate moments to cement a deep bond.This is not a relationship in the traditional sense. Of course, this may be an advantage for some. But if you want to start a conversation about how the relationship is progressing, it can get awkward.Unrequited feelings. The biggest risk in this relationship is that one party will fall in love and the other will not. As always, communication is essential to avoid harming others and yourself.This can be confusing. Having a good time and sharing intimacy with someone, then not speaking for weeks, can be confusing. Feeling uncomfortable expressing it tends to generate negative feelings.

Situationship : a current fashion

The term, which has existed for several years, has been enriched with the use of applications and hashtags on social networks. Just like the ghosting (cut the link without explanation), or theorbit (similar to ghostingbut maintaining a presence on the networks), the “ situationship » is common these days.

According to a study conducted by American sociologist Lisa Wade, members of Generation Z are more reluctant to qualify their relationships. Even to encourage their progress and share their feelings. All these new categories challenge the traditional precepts of romantic relationships.

The news spread widely on the social network TikTok, where the hashtag #situationship has accumulated 1 billion views and nearly 380,000 publications. Furthermore, the annual report of the dating app Tinder showed that in 2022, 49% of users added the word to their bio.

In last year’s publication, the company suggests that the term is no longer considered a bad thing. On the contrary, the establishment of these agreements ” allows us to have more freedom to live more experiences “.

Prioritize communication and emotional responsibility

In this type of bond, as in any other romantic relationship, emotional responsibility is essential. Communication is the central axis to achieve this. It is therefore necessary to convey desires, limits and levels of commitment.

A situationship only works if both parties agree. Of course, feelings can change and become more or less intense. For that, transparency with oneself and with others becomes essential.

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