Ladies and gentlemen, fasten your seatbelts! We’re diving headfirst into the absurd world of criminal brilliance — or perhaps the lack thereof, as demonstrated by the unfortunate case of Baba Siddique. Now, this is not just any murder investigation; I mean, this is a plot thick enough to put a decent Spaghetti Carbonara to shame! They’ve got everything from YouTube tutorials to motorbike mishaps. I’d like to think that if they’d put half as much effort into planning a holiday, they might have actually pulled that off!
So let’s break this down. Here we have a group of masterminds who thought it’d be a great idea to take down a former Maharashtra minister, reminiscent of a particularly dark episode of “Scooby-Doo.” You know, if the gang had a penchant for an arsenal instead of food. Led by a gentleman named Gurmail Singh—who, at 23, clearly didn’t have “life choices” on his bucket list—the plan included the acquisition of 65 bullets, several felons, and, oh yes, YouTube teaching sessions on how to handle a firearm. Because, really, what’s more reliable than online tutorials? Forget college degrees; YouTube is the new Harvard!
And just when you think these guys might whisk away on a bike like the cool heroes in the movies, they have a rather unfortunate traffic accident. It’s like watching a heist movie where the villain gets stuck in traffic because they forgot to check for road construction! So, instead of riding off into the sunset, they hopped into an auto-rickshaw — which, let’s be honest, is about as stealthy as trying to sneak out of a wedding with a four-tier cake.
Now, let’s talk about their strategic planning. Instead of sticking to the sensible skill of “not getting caught,” they decided to indulge in a little “dry practice” with unloaded guns—because what’s a bit of gunplay without the actual risk of an oopsie-daisy moment? It’s like rehearsing the big emotional scene in a rom-com without actually having a love interest. And the communication? Snapchat and Instagram for covert ops? Brilliant! Nothing screams clandestine like a bunch of criminals sharing selfies while plotting murder. “Look out, folks! We’re coming for you… and we just got a new Snapchat filter!”
But wait—there’s more! The whole operation points towards an alleged gang connection. Because nothing says you’ve truly broken bad like hooking up with the Lawrence Bishnoi gang! That’s like upgrading from “learning to ride a bike” to “hey, look at me; I’m taking a joyride in a stolen Lamborghini.” And then there’s the guy who claimed responsibility for the hit on Facebook—always the overachiever, this one! It’s like posting about a failed soufflé, but with a few extra bullets added to the mix.
To sum it up, we’ve got a murder plot that resembles a bizarre mashup of “Home Alone” and “Training Day,” where all the traps fail due to a lack of planning, and instead of police drama, we have a comedic crime documentary just begging to be made. If only they’d taken their criminal ambitions about as seriously as their social media games, they might have pulled this off without looking like the Three Stooges with really bad aim!
So, folks, as we reflect on this criminal masterpiece, remember: if you’re going to take a shot at infamy, make sure you’ve got a proper plan… or at the very least, a good video editor to make your “How to Be a Criminal” vlog.
And that, my friends, is how you turn a plot twist into a comedy of errors! Thank you!
