Now she is currently in the movie “Nova & Alice”.
Photo: PETER GRANNBY / STELLA PICTURES/PETER GRANNBY PETER GRANNBY
Kristian Luuk and Hedda Stiernstedt in the program.
Photo: Peter Bergström/SVT
Together with a friend, Hedda Stiernstedt took a stand for girls to be allowed to dress as they want by wearing a tank top with the text “onanist yes”.
The year was 2001 and she was 13 years old, about to turn 14, and the move can be described as a kind of protest against what was perceived to be a type of dress code at the high school in Stockholm where she attended.
The debate finally reached the national media, where a text with her name and picture was published in Aftonbladet. Shortly thereafter, she began to receive letters.
– It started out tricky but it got worse and worse, and there were very explicit threats of sexual violence, says Hedda Stiernstedt in “Min sanning”.
The letters escalated and soon it became clear that she had a stalker.
– He knew what I had worn to school, he knew my schedule, he knew how and when I moved to and from school. Then of course the police were called in, the teacher got an emergency number and I wasn’t allowed to be out in the evenings, she says in the program.
“Not smart enough to be so scared”
In the end, Hedda Stiernstedt, in a coordinated effort with the parents and the police, acted as bait. The parents were sitting at home in the extinguished apartment and outside were civil police officers parked in the street. At the same time, Hedda Stiernstedt went home alone with a civil police shadowing behind her.
But it didn’t turn out to be anything poignant.
– After that day he disappeared, because I think he discovered the police.
– The strange thing is that I was so young that I became a little disconnected in some way. It felt like it happened to someone else. I guess in a way I didn’t have enough sense to be as scared as I was today, she says in “Min Sanning”.
Abused by ex-boyfriend
What happened left its mark.
– This time in life and a bit later, I think above all, was very marked by men’s violence against women. This stalker is part of that. A few years later I had an abusive partner.
She was both physically and mentally abused.
– Had someone told me then that a putt is also violence. Being thrown to the ground is also violence, being stuffed into and pushed up against a wall is also violence, being manipulated, isolated, humiliated, it is psychological violence. I think at first I had an image that there was only one type of violence, and that’s a straight right. Had I known that the other was also violence, I might have left earlier.
– How did it end?, asks presenter Kristian Luuk.
– With a straight right, says Stiernstedt.
She did not file a police report.
– It wasn’t on the map. They didn’t do that, no one told me that was what they were supposed to do.
ARE YOU EXPOSED?
– Always call 112 in life-threatening situations. Call 11414 to report to the police.
– Kvinnofridslinjen: Call 020-50 50 50. You can turn to this 24/7 for questions and support as both victims and relatives.
– Women’s emergency rooms: Roks.se has contact details for women’s and girls’ emergency rooms throughout Sweden.
– The crime victim helpline: Call 116 006. You can turn to this for questions and support both as a victim and a relative.
– Ungarelationer.se which has a chat that is open 20-22 every evening to support young people in a dangerous relationship.
– Terrafem’s emergency telephone, answers in 67 languages: Call 020-521010
– The social service in your municipality.
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Hedda Stiernstedt: “You can have a fantastically happy life”
Hedda Stiernstedt says she doesn’t open up about it “from a place of anger”.
– I just want to talk about it in terms of how we can prevent it. How can we prevent it from continuing to happen again and again?
Finally, she also turns to other women who are vulnerable.
– I also want to say that you can really move on and you can have a fantastically happy life with wonderful other people afterwards.
