I divorced 2 years ago, recently received news of the remarriage of my ex-wife. Honestly, in my heart, I still have the feeling of “being abandoned by my wife”, she is the one who actively wrote the divorce petition.
So I immediately found out regarding my ex-wife’s new husband, and then burst out laughing when I found out that he was inferior to me in every way. His family background is normal, he himself doesn’t make much money, his appearance is not as handsome as mine, older than me. “Selling cows to buy bullfrogs”, that’s the phrase I immediately thought of the actions of my ex-wife.
Unable to control myself, I immediately went to where my ex-wife and new husband were living, intending to mock her once.
But in the end, I had to leave. I realized that she decided to marry a man who seemed to be inferior to her ex-husband in all aspects for very reasonable reasons.
“Selling cows to buy bullfrogs”, that’s the phrase I immediately thought of the actions of my ex-wife. (Illustration)
And here are 4 lessons in marriage that I have deeply absorbed:
1. The other party can fulfill a certain need that the ex-husband cannot do
What I cannot do is accompany my wife in family responsibilities. I believe that men build houses, women build nests, clearly separated. My job is to go to work to strive for my career, the rest of the time I rest. The wife’s job is to take care of her husband and children, take care of the housework, internal and external relations, and take care of her husband’s parents.
My actions make my wife always feel lonely in her own family. She alone has to grapple with the household chores that are the joint responsibility of both husband and wife.
I also let my wife solve the mother-in-law conflict by herself, thinking it was her job. But in fact, it is the husband who can best reconcile the relationship between those two women.
Without companionship, there is a lack of cohesion, mutual understanding, so the couple’s feelings are increasingly distant. Until a certain point, she suddenly realized that she was “with or without a husband”.
2. Don’t force your wife to quit her job at home, “cut off her wings”
I want my wife to quit her job and stay at home to look following the children, take care of the family, and focus on taking good care of her parents-in-law. My ex-wife is not a workaholic or has great ambition in her career, but she still wants to go to work so she doesn’t have to ask for money from her husband. However, I still don’t like it. If she also goes to work, all day absence makes me uneasy regarding my mother at home.
At first, she insisted on going to work, the husband and wife often quarreled. After my daughter was born, she was often sick, so I used that excuse to force my wife to quit her job. The wife had to obey but in her heart was not happy at all. It’s also true, leaving work at home around is like a woman “cut off her wings”.
3. Husband needs to take care of his wife’s house because everyone has only one parent
I pay little attention to my wife’s parents and my grandmother’s housework. Because I think that a girl who gets married is like a bowl of water thrown away. She became my family’s bride and became a family member, so she had to eat any tree that fenced that tree. As for me, I am just a son-in-law, sometimes visiting my wife’s parents, giving a little gift on Tet holiday is full of meaning.
I know my wife is upset but I don’t care. Then that became one of the reasons she wanted a divorce because everyone has only one parent.
If men are good, women will never let go. (Illustration)
4. Finally, if men are good, women will never let go
Bitter and bitter, but I still have to admit it. Once a woman actively wants a divorce, that means the husband has a problem. Women love children, cherish family, if she is a good husband, she will never let go.
My ex-wife’s new husband doesn’t make as much money as me, compared to me alone is not as successful. But as a husband, he does much better than me. He also has a stable job, while still allowing his wife to strive freely, respect her decisions, accompany her in family responsibilities, and treat his wife’s family like a family. paternal family.
Those are the things that every modern woman needs in a husband, not the way I treated my ex-wife.
These are also the lessons I draw for myself if I get remarried to try not to repeat the same mistakes.
