The actress Haydée Ramírez faced one of the most difficult moments a mother can experience: losing a child. The woman from Valle del Cauca had been at the top of the television industry by going through important productions, such as ‘Amar y Vivir’, ‘Oki Doki’, ‘Café, con aroma de mujer’, ‘Padres e hijos’ and ‘Azúcar’, but She felt empty on a personal level as she witnessed her son turn to drugs and alcohol.
“His death connected me with another way of seeing life,” he said in a past interview for the “Bravíssimo” program, on the Citytv channel. At the time, she shared that he was in therapy, as depression clouded her path.
After the death of her son Gustavo on November 17, 2018, the artist once again referred to such a complex episode to raise awareness among parents.
In that moment of despair, in the midst of denial, uncertainty, and shock, I spoke to him.
“He began to mix alcohol and drugs and that made it not a picture of anxiety and depression, but a picture of addiction,” he said in a talk with the “La Red” program.
Yes indeed, the boy told him that he felt fine and was willing to undergo treatment. In fact, both decided to spend some family time away from the city; they traveled to the farm in Subachoque, Cundinamarca.
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“We had a fantastic month. When he felt well, he kept working, ”added Ramírez, 60, who played ‘Gabriela’ in ‘Padres e hijos’.
Although he assured that he had no health complications, one day he relapsed and had to be transferred to a clinic, where he died “absolutely intoxicated” after two weeks.
The last conversation you had with your son
Ramírez received psychological support because Gustavo’s death affected her so much that she experienced anxiety and depression. Right in that process, he says, he chatted with his son in a meeting guided by a medium.
“In that moment of desperation, in the midst of denial, uncertainty and surprise, I talked to him during the hour that the session lasted about very particular things that only he and I knew,” he said.
His memory is present in the Subachoque farm. The actress has not moved a sign with the legend “The best coffee” (The best coffee) that one day Gustavo insisted on buying.
“He told me: ‘Mother, I want us to buy this because that coffee we make at home is fantastic.’ I told him ‘ready, you put it’. She put it on in the afternoon and at night she fell off.
The next day he told me: ‘Mother, don’t worry, I’m going to put it on forever’, the Valle del Cauca woman mentioned for ‘La Red’. That’s how it went. The sign is still hanging above the coffee pot.
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To cope with grief, she found a support group of parents who have also lost their children. Now, away from the cameras and the great novels, Ramírez trained and provides help to families on these issues.
“A mother as soon as she saw me cried and hugged me. She couldn’t believe we were meeting there. It was a very nice thing. It is not about giving her support, but that she does too. We both support each other, ”she sentenced.
Through all this, he wants to demolish myths. For example, she is sure that a son’s grief can be overcome.
“We know that grief is overwhelming and heartbreaking. If we assume it that way, we are not going to escape, like working excessively to avoid pain, taking refuge in alcohol, drugs, sex or food. Those kinds of things are what we do because we are very afraid to talk about the loss, ”he commented on ‘Bravissimo’.
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The actress has also sent a message to the friends of people who are grieving so that they are there at that time: “For example, I forgot to drink water. I was dehydrated for three days. But if you have a person to accompany you, keep an eye on you, that really helps because one is in ‘shock’ at those moments. Talking helps, speech is healing.
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