It’s burning! The economics minister spins the wheel, the justice minister insults the health minister, and real flames are blazing in the woods.
Frank Plasberg hits the fire alarm: “The drought of the century: are we experiencing our future?”
The guests
︎ Mona Neubaur (45, Green). The new NRW super minister for economy and climate claims: “We don’t need a wake-up call, we’re already taking action.”
︎ Werner Marnette (76, CDU). Schleswig-Holstein’s ex-minister of economics grumbles regarding the green energy transition: “As if our country were being pulled the plug!”
▶︎ Alexander Held (47). The forest scientist warns: “Building houses in the green forest is like building houses in the floodplain of a large river.”
▶︎ Carla Reemtsma (24). The climate activist (“Friday for Future”, FFF) thundered on Twitter: “Tank discount & gas surcharge, the climate destruction of large fossil companies – the irresponsibility in the crisis is indescribable!”
︎ Rolf Schmiel (49). The qualified psychologist blasphemes: “I have more understanding for the citizen than for politics, which is only aimed at being re-elected.”
▶︎ Sven Plöger (55). The ARD weatherman lectures on droughts, forest fires and heavy rain: “This is the new normal, definitely. This is climate change haptic” – meaning: touchable.
Are there flaming appeals today or just dry words once more? The Zoff-o-Meter hopes for professionals from the political-media fire brigade!
There was also trouble in the group of Frank Plasberg (right) when it came to nuclear power
Most energetic immediate program
Climate activist Reemtsma fires a full multi-purpose nozzle into the group: “Weather phenomena! Climate extremes! Huge monsoon in Pakistan!” the student rants in staccato. “We are not experiencing our future, we are experiencing our present! 10,000 heat deaths! Political irresponsibility!”
Green Minister Neubaur wants to use the torrent of words to surf into political practice: “Understand climate protection as the task of mankind for the now,” she says. “Exactly relieve! Ensure supply of gas! Expand renewables at high speed!”
NRW Climate Minister Mona Neubaur (Greens)
Most explosive accusation
Marnette has been everywhere and knows regarding climate change “from Chile, as Africa, from Asia.” His insight: “This is a global issue that we cannot do alone.”
His criticism is aimed primarily at the Vice Chancellor: “Mr. Habeck travels the world and cheerfully declared: We buy the gas at top prices!” He quotes the Green Minister and wrings his hands: “Worldwide. We are taking the gas away from other countries that are also affected by the climate crisis. There’s no logic in it at all.”
Schleswig-Holstein’s former economics minister Werner Marnette (CDU)
Airiest example
“I’m a glider pilot,” outs the weatherman Plöger, the only one of the men who don’t have a handkerchief. “If you make a landing approach and want to land, then it is very important what the approach brings.”
Because, according to the expert with a raised index finger: “If you completely screw up a landing approach, then you have to avoid a crash landing at the very end. And then the pilot does everything so that it doesn’t hit the ground somehow. That’s how I see us politically at the moment.” Heidewitzka, Herr Flugkapitän.
Most unwelcome self-criticism
“We have talked the gas nice for many years,” admits Plöger then. “We talked ourselves into Mr Putin. For 15 years.” There’s first applause for that.
Marnette joins in the self-indictment: “We should all go in sackcloth and ashes!” As the head of an extremely energy-intensive aluminum smelter, he himself “liked to take the gas because we wanted to make a contribution to climate protection.”
Uff. The FFF activist on his left immediately cuts in, hissing: “You got us into this exact dependency on cheap Russian gas.”
Climate activist Carla Reemtsma from “Fridays for Future”
Most partisan moderation
Marnette would like to defend himself by saying that aluminum production used to be much more harmful to the environment with coke: “I would like to explain to you once more what was done back then,” he begins hopefully.
Not with Plasberg! “You don’t have to explain anything to a young person who is as knowledgeable as Ms. Reemtsma,” the talk show host slows him down. “She’s got it.” That’s a rare show of sympathy.
Most devastating diagnosis
For the forest fire expert Held there is no mistake: “We have to get used to these scenarios, just like we have to get used to floods, storms, bark beetles and all these extremes,” he explains without hesitation. All of this will become normal.
His alarming realization: “Now the weather is making the whole country flammable. If it’s dry long enough, all biomass becomes fuel.”
Forest scientist Alexander Held
Most welcome spin
“How do these fires actually start?” Plasberg wants to know. Held’s answer is as dry as summer: “The three main causes are men, women and children.”
Neubaur describes burned-out “calamity areas that look more like a lunar crater landscape” and announces that “wind turbines will be permitted in NRW for the decades until the forest has grown back”. Profits from propeller biotopes!
Greenest attack
FFF-Reemstma suddenly also hits the eco-party: “I wonder what the Greens in the government are doing better?” She snaps at the NRW minister over the counter. “How can you still be responsible for being in this government?” Lively applause from the ranks.
Neubaur’s real-political answer: “What the Greens are also doing is that they put the packages of measures on the market at the beginning of July, unanimously with the federal states, regarding the Wind-on-Land Act, regarding the Renewable Energy Sources Act. One cannot accuse the Ministry of Economics of being inactive…” Of all things!
Most energetic call to order
“We always need a lot of backup energy or storage!” warns Marnette. “Before we continue to expand renewable energies, we must first come to a moratorium…”
Plasberg smells the roast: “Am I just seeing the word ‘nuclear power’ floating through the room?”
“Nuclear energy has avoided up to 160 million tons of CO₂ emissions per year in Germany,” the CDU man quickly calculates. “If we take climate protection seriously, we have to deal with this technology – and without ideology.”
Promptly the Zoff-o-Meter goes to the ceiling
“Nuclear power is a high-risk technology!” Reemtsma roars. “To switch to it now is just absurd! Nine out of ten citizens now want the rapid expansion of renewable energies and not a return to nuclear power.”
The activist elegantly ignores the fact that 61 percent want the nuclear reactors to run longer. She prefers to argue that nuclear power is five times more expensive than wind and solar power. And if you think nothing works anymore, a study comes from somewhere…
Windiest info
For Grünen-Neubaur, nuclear power is “a question that nobody asks”, which is why one should “not rant regarding it”. And prefer to put photovoltaics on the roofs.
“Exploding electricity prices,” counters Marnette, but Plasberg chokes him off and prefers to let ARD colleague Plöger talk regarding the ups and downs.
“There’s a lot of east wind,” reports the weatherman gratefully. “An incredible number of cyclists write to me and always say: Yes, when I go on a bike tour, the wind suddenly always blows towards me.” Holy Pedalus!
Most futile peace offer
Marnette still dares to try once more: “We’re in a situation of blackmail,” he reminds the women almost desperately of the bloodthirsty puppeteer in the Kremlin. “Goodness gracious, you must understand that too. That has nothing to do with ideology. We are losing millions of jobs!”
Then he holds out his hand to the FFF activist: “I invite you to Hamburg and then we’ll go through the numbers. Let’s do this?”
think! Ms. Reemtsma, who lives in Hamburg, prefers to be pithy once more: “Nuclear power is the most expensive way of producing energy,” she organs. However, word of this has not yet gotten around in the rest of the world…
Philosophischste Statements
Plöger raises his finger once more. “I would like to add one more thought,” he announces, but then only lets out a breathtaking banality: “We won’t always be able to do everything the way we want to.” Hallelujah.
His credo: “The opposite of what we actually want always happens.”
Wateriest color theory
In front of an aerial photo of private swimming pools in German gardens, the ARD meteorologist finally suggests: “We need a political framework that controls certain things. We need a traffic light for the pools.”
And the popular climate amphibian postulates with energetic hand-knuckles in the air: “The traffic light shows red when there is not enough water. Then you’re not allowed to do that, and then it has to cost a lot of punishment. The traffic light turns yellow when you want to tell people: It will soon be dangerous. And if it’s green, my goodness, then one should go in there too.” Amen.
quote of the evening
Rolf Schmiel:
“When politics is wrong, it’s not surprising that people act stupid.”
Diplom psychologist Rolf Schmiel
Conclusion
Toxic mix of fact-free prohibition morality and future-fearful educational poetry, instead of flourishing inventiveness only the old withered sunflowers. That was a classic anti-talk of the Morgenstern category: “Because, he concludes razor-sharp, what shouldn’t be can’t be.”
