When we mention a separation, we think of the children, the fathers and the mothers who are affected by the changes that this situation brings. We often forget that grandparents are just as affected. Worse, they are only helpless spectators in front of this situation.
Grandparents: Tackle the Difficult Questions
Inasmuch as grands-parents, it is impossible for us to foresee a separation, despite all our good will, it does not belong to us. Nevertheless, a little thoughtfulness can reduce conflicts, or at least eliminate some of them.
How ? Discussing with her children the possibilities that one day the couple will no longer work. Properly discuss that one day we will be dead. We can foresee these situations and have discussions without emotions running high, which is never good for finding compromises.
The family patrimony law for married couples can eliminate many conflicts, particularly financial ones. There is also a document called, a de facto union agreement for couples who live together and who, like married couples, want some protection in the event of the end of their union.
Every couple should have the protection of one of these two documents. However, these two documents do not cover children. If you think finances are a tough topic during a breakup, you haven’t seen it. Children bring logistical responsibilities (daycare, clothing, sports activities, friends, etc.) and financial (costs for this same logistics), responsibilities that we do not notice when we are in a relationship and that everything is going well, but which become capital following a separation.
Your role as grandparents
As grandparents what can we do? We can encourage our adult children to discuss with their spouse the possibility of separation and the importance of agreeing “on paper” when everything is going well, especially when their first child is born.
A document stipulating the ground rules in the event of a separation is a must in today’s modern life, just as we should encourage our children to have an up-to-date will.
Indeed, it is increasingly common to see stepfamilies, where brothers and sisters share, or not, a mother or a father. When a parent dies or the couple dies, what will happen to the different children?
Will the father-in-law who became attached to his son-in-law following 5 years of living together still be able to see him following the death of the mother or the end of the couple? Beyond the impacts on the father-in-law, what will be the consequences for the son-in-law? How will he experience attachment with other adults?
For grandparents, the consequences are just as tragic. This is why, when everything is going well, it is important to discuss these subjects, even if they are delicate. The fact of reflecting on his own death, like that possible of his couple, will not provoke things.
Indeed, no one died because of having written their will and no couple broke up simply because of having written a de facto union agreement. In both cases, discussing the financial aspects and, in particular, the impact on children following one of the two events is a responsible gesture that one owes to one’s children and grandchildren.
The role of the financial planner
This kind of advice is part of the daily life of a financial planner. Depending on his license to practice, he will accompany you and will be able to surround himself with other professionals according to the required expertise.
As the Quebec Institute of Financial Planning (IQPF) points out:
The role of the financial planner is to help you develop your financial plan by drawing up a strategic action plan fully adapted to your needs and taking into account your constraints and your personal objectives. It then offers you coherent and realistic strategies and measures to achieve the goals you have set for yourself. These are valuable assets for closely monitoring the evolution of your assets and making the right decision at the right time.
Do not hesitate to consult a financial planner recognized by the IQPF and for your legal documents such as a de facto union agreement, a notary is the expert to consult!
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He joined TÉLUQ University in June 2018 following more than twenty years with Canadian financial institutions in personal advisory roles, notably as a financial planner and manager (service director and general manager).
