© Provided by Paula
Third
School age is a hotbed to promote socio-emotional skills that allow for a healthy development of self-concept and interpersonal relationships. It is at this stage where, by observing their environment, children and adolescents can adopt and model prosocial behaviors and replicate them in their environment.
I have had the opportunity to listen to moms and dads wondering regarding how they can convey to their sons and daughters the importance of being good companions: children who care regarding others and manage to develop interpersonal skills that promote positive bonding with others.
On certain occasions it may happen that we observe that our sons and daughters are in a certain way at home that would never lead us to imagine that at school they have selfish and unkind behavior with their classmates. And this obviously makes it difficult to prevent them from falling into hostile action.
One of the elements that is important to keep in mind in order to work with them in favor of coexistence is to understand that they can have behaviors and actions that go once morest the teachings that we have wanted to transmit to them. Being aware that they are autonomous beings and that they can make mistakes, will allow them to transmit that this mistake can be repaired and that by doing so, by correcting that error, they will grow as people. And it is that if we do not do it, we run the risk that they grow up with an idealized self-concept of themselves, without recognizing their weaknesses and mistakes.
Sometimes as parents we feel personally questioned when our children have behaved inappropriately and many times that leads us to reflect on that behavior from the defense of our parental performance: we end up defending the indefensible, because we feel hurt in our ego and we stop paying attention to how we can make our daughter grow.
It is also important to keep in mind the age of each child and keep us informed of the characteristics that certain stages entail. Today we have a lot of information and high-quality books that can enlighten us to support them and be attentive to situations that may arise due to their life cycle. If we inform ourselves in advance, we can prevent situations in which they might be involved or encourage behaviors that we believe are important for them to develop.
We have many opportunities to accompany our sons and daughters in their school stage and guide them in being builders of a positive coexistence. Remaining only in words or in the concern that this be the case will not contribute; we must take responsibility and act, be active in their teaching and training.
Between fourth grade and first grade, a social stage begins where conflicts are more latent: they change friends, there is exclusion, they annoy each other and peer pressure weighs to the point of being able to make them fall into behaviors that only seek the approval. We know that school is a diverse space and we would like all boys and girls to be happy and feel part of it, but this is not always the case.
That is why we must have an active conduct. Promote in them the importance of learning to share with their peers, seeing difference as an opportunity to learn, respecting the tastes of others and not finding them “weird” just because they don’t like it. Let’s make them reflect on the care of words and gestures, since kindness is also present there. Let’s try to show them that inviting someone who is alone to play is not making them responsible for that boy or girls, it is being supportive.
If all fathers and mothers do this, it will not be just one child who is responsible for fostering, but an entire community. And what more healing than that!
If we are happy when our sons and daughters do well in school and earn a diploma, how can we not be proud that they have been able to realize the need for a partner? How not to feel admiration for them when they have been able to prevent them from bothering someone by going beyond what they will say? Let’s encourage our sons and daughters to be agents of kindness and empathy. That is the best education that we can inherit.
