By Christoph Schwarz and Oliver Wild
In the past, it was others who picked up the applause of their own supporters with their speeches on the FPÖ’s “Political Ash Wednesday” – this year the speechwriter himself will be the main speaker for the first time: FPÖ boss Herbert Kickl celebrates his premiere on Wednesday evening at the traditional blue event in the Upper Austrian Ried im Innkreis.
Kickl moves into the Jahnturnhalle, which is filled to the last seat, to the sounds of the Andorf market band and to great applause. And right from the start it’s clear what the audience expects from him: Despite Lent, he shouldn’t deliver “any light food for the federal government”.
After three years of abstinence – the blue Ash Wednesday also paused during Corona – expectations are high. Hearty tales have always been the hallmark of the event, which Jörg Haider brought to life in 1992.
Against the “Big City Left”
Manfred Haimbuchner, head of the FPÖ in Upper Austria, gave the whip for the “friends of the politically incorrect Ash Wednesday community”. He has rhetorically prepared well for his appearance: No joke is safe from him on this evening – in the best Ash Wednesday manner.
The opponents are quickly identified: the “big city left” in Vienna, the “left-green moralist in the ORF”, the “bedside rugs of the corrupt Brussels EU bureaucracy” – and above all the “black-green carnival association”.
According to Haimbuchner, the “Corona move” will be over if the federal government is “kicked away” by the blue “Chancellor candidate” Herbert Kickl in the next election. Because: After the lockdowns, the “knockdown” for the coalition will now come.
The range of topics that Haimbuchner has considered is well received by the visitors. He tells of small farmers and traders who are “harassed”. Of immigrants murdering locals while police stations are locked down. About the Corona measures and in particular the obligation to vaccinate, under which the ÖVP “wanted to arrest” the critics of the measures.
“Wos hackln”
Haimbuchner and his guests really get going when he campaigns against the climate stickers. The “bagage neglected by prosperity” should no longer be handled “with kid gloves”, the climate experts, in turn, “probably sniffed the owl too much themselves”. He has a message for the “inconsistent” young people “who wear clothes from Asia, have an iPhone from Asia and go on vacation to Asia”: “They should hack something.”
Does Haimbuchner, who actually belongs to the moderate wing of the party, feel completely comfortable in his role as a clunker? Unsure. The fact that blue Ash Wednesday is “a bit more violent, more cynical” is a tradition, he concludes, almost apologetically.
Kickl “almost speechless”
Party leader Herbert Kickl is then received on stage with a standing ovation. It makes him “almost speechless,” he flirts. “Not a good start” for a speaker.
Then – as if by a miracle – he quickly found his voice again and – in the best Kickl manner – had a rhyme ready for the Corona experts, in the form of a toast: “A toast to the army of experts – because you believe no one else. Don’t be sad, be happy, because Nehammer feels the same way,” says Kickl and raises the beer mug.
The first big topic: the “ORF compulsory tax” – the household tax that the government is planning for all Austrians. “We have arrived in communism,” says Kickl. “The state has degenerated into a collection agency for broadcasting.”
Then Kickl does something “that I don’t normally do: I distance myself from myself in advance, because tomorrow they’ll ask me to do it again anyway.” And he apologizes that “not everyone gets their fat” who deserves it. But the evening was “not long enough” for that.
The other parties would tremble before the FPÖ, says Kickl – and refers to the elections in Tyrol and Lower Austria. In Carinthia and Salzburg they want to continue the blue successes. “It will be a hefty bill that the population will issue to politicians.”
He accuses the government of not making an effort to be genuinely close to the citizens, “because the others have worries”. The question everyone would ask themselves: “Can we stop this Kickl?” He has the answer: “You can’t stop me at all.” The audience responds with “Herbert, Herbert” chants.
Van der Bellen is a “subversive threat”
Then Kickl renewed his attacks on Federal President Alexander Van der Bellen: He wanted to “drive out the nonsense before the election” from this “senile mummy in the Hofburg”. Van der Bellen is “a threat to the state who should be removed from office”.
Kickl also finds harsh words for ÖVP Chancellor Karl Nehammer, who – Attention, rhyme! – giving a “state of the nation address” even though he himself is the “greatest plague of the nation”. The ÖVP is “addicted”, their “commercial crime is corruption”. The FPÖ will send the ÖVP “on cold turkey” in the election.
Vienna’s SPÖ Mayor Michael Ludwig is not a red wonder wuzzi, but only a “red wuzzi”, City Councilor for Health Peter Hacker a “Vaccination Quasimodo”. The fact that Ludwig called the wrong Klitschko also caused a few laughs a few months later. Soon Ludwig will tell people that he “phoned Barack Obama – it was Roberto Blanco.”
Kickl has also come up with some uncharming nicknames for other top politicians. ÖVP National Council President Wolfgang Sobotka is “the two-armed bandit of Novomatic”, Environment Minister Leonore Gewessler (Greens) is a “climate governess”. He doesn’t like the fact that Gewessler recently flew to Bratislava: “If she wants to fly, she should take her broom.”
In any case, the other parties could not stop the FPÖ, repeats Kickl. He is on the side of “normal, simple people who know whether they are a man or a woman – and don’t need a psychotherapist to find the right toilet door.”
Exactly these people are “a thorn in the side of the elite”. Gender choice and woke culture is an attempt to “uproot” people so they can be “reprogrammed by the elite.” Who are the elite? All other parties, who are all “brainwashed the same way”.
Horses against climate glue
One should “not be so squeamish about the climate stickers”: “Now would be the great moment for the mounted police,” says Kickl, referring to his original idea for reform. The police officers should ride up to the climate stickers, “then there would be a short command to turn around, the horses would raise their tails and there would be organic fertilizer.”
Then Kickl defined his election goal for the next National Council election: “To be first and finally to have a blue chancellor.” The audience responds for the second time with “Herbert, Herbert” calls. A liberal chancellor would turn the tables. “Then you won’t kick down and hump up to the EU and NATO. Then you’ll serve down and kick up. And anyone who knows me knows that I can kick things up a notch.”
Then Kickl comes – finally – to talk about Corona. That was important to him “as a Schwurbler”. He criticized Nehammer’s proposal to set up a reconciliation conference. The fact that the government is now rowing back has only to do with the fact that “your ass is on the ground ice”.
In the meantime, “everyone has noticed that they have been lied to by this government. There can be no reconciliation.” The other parties and the media attacked people with “psycho-terror” during the pandemic. “Dirty pack,” calls out one of the audience. “We won’t forgive something like that,” replies Kickl.
Then he sums up the Corona period: It was already known at the end of 2020 that Corona was no more dangerous than flu. A little later it was clear that the vaccination did not protect against infection. The pandemic policy was “a huge hoax”, the federal government consists of “corona criminals”.
Against “Economic War”
The Ukraine war and inflation would show parallels to Corona: the population was not asked there, like there, billions of euros would be “senselessly burned,” said Kickl. “A liberal chancellor would not have supported this economic war against Russia.” Instead, neutral Austria would have been offered as a negotiation venue for a peace process.
With the increase in prices, the Austrians would now “pay the price for double standards,” said Kickl. The people in Ukraine are not only victims of “the Russian war of aggression”, but also victims of “the USA, NATO and the EU”.
Kickl describes immigration as a “migration of peoples” and that the “good-natured, degenerate left” in politics are the helpers of the smugglers. He is familiar with it “as a former interior minister,” says Kickl. Postscript: “I’d have gusto again anyway.” He has only one message for delinquent immigrants: “Off to the plane and home to the Taliban!”
In view of the low number of asylum seekers in neighboring Hungary, he demands: “More paprika and more Hungarian chili in asylum policy.” One should take the Prime Minister there, Viktor Orbán, as an example.
Final appeal: “Let’s march together. I’ll go ahead to the Federal Chancellery.”