The Hilariously Tragic Comedy of Mark Haddock: A Fateful Return to Unwelcomed Shores
Ah, Mark Haddock! The man who seems to have mistaken life for a Shakespearean tragedy but could win best actor at a comedy festival. This week, we found out his grand plans to return to Northern Ireland might be more *spiced* than he anticipated. Not that he’s moving back to the family home—oh no! More like dodging a flurry of old scores made by folks who don’t appreciate surprises, especially those armed with knives! Talk about a rocky homecoming.
Terry Fairfield who was stabbed by Mark Haddock
Haddock, now a delightful old 55, is wrapping his tenth year of a twelve-year sentence for attempting to contribute to a horror movie by slashing fellow RUC agent Terry Fairfield’s throat. And if that’s not thrilling enough, Haddock made the brilliant move of lunging at Fairfield (who had conveniently relocated to England with a new identity) and giving him 27 stitches for his trouble. If only he’d remembered the cardinal rule of comedy—don’t stab your fellow cast members!
But fear not, this is where the tale turns. Despite the legal hiccups, our dear Haddock had dreams of once again walking the cobbled streets of Belfast. Apparently, he forgot to check his Yelp reviews; everyone seems to have given him the dreaded “never return” rating. His barrister summed it nicely: “The matter is now resolved and is academic.” Translated: “You’re not getting home, mate!”
Now, imagine Haddock’s surprise as he daydreams of frolicking back home complete with a warm welcome party, only to be told there’s ‘no safe place for him’ even within the warm confines of jail. Honestly, when your enemies are all but queuing up to give you a 5-star review with a solid *stab*, a holiday destination is definitely out of the question.
The Renderings of Revenge and Regret
Haddock’s past? Just a sweet little lullaby of chaos. Once the head honcho of the notorious Mount Vernon unit, he oversaw a more-than-decent body count, making him a fugitive under numerous police watches. A happy little sectarian killing machine, if you will. But as detailed in the article, he also caught some flak after the Police Ombudsman outed the delightful little collusions between police handlers and good ol’ Mount Vernon UVF assassins.
“The passage of time doesn’t mean that it’s all forgotten, there’s no way back for Haddock,” proclaimed a UVF source. It’s like the universe whispered to Haddock, “Remember that knife fight? It’s still on!” The irony is that many of his comrades have enjoyed the sweet taste of freedom. But not Mark. His future, like a bad comedy show, lies outside the welcoming green hills of Northern Ireland.
UVF commander Mark Haddock who is now currently on the run
Look, let’s be honest, you really have to admire a man whose life reads like a screenplay titled *From Bad to Worse: The Haddock Chronicles*. After making headlines for all the wrong reasons — stabbing, running, and unwanted engagements—he was, in 2014, sentenced to 12 years for, you guessed it, “wounding with intent.” A title that fits like a glove in his case. They remind me of those tragic love stories where the protagonist just keeps bumping into their ex…and they always carry a sharp object!
At this point, Haddock might want to consider rebranding: Mark “You Can’t Make This Stuff Up” Haddock. Because let’s face it—the tragic comedy of becoming a pariah in a world you mistook for a funhouse doesn’t happen to everyone.
So, here’s the punchline: while Haddock may dream of repatriation, the reality is, he might just need a ticket to the farthest destination that promises zero relatives. Better bring your comedy mask, mate; it’s going to be a rough ride back home!
“He has an overwhelming number of enemies, numerous individuals with longstanding grievances who would not hesitate to take life-altering action.”
The former commander of the notorious Mount Vernon unit of the UVF has recently received stark warnings—he is advised never to set foot in his homeland again due to the significant danger he poses to himself.
Haddock is currently serving a 12-year sentence, of which he is already 10 years into, for a violent knife attack against fellow RUC agent Terry Fairfield that left deep, lasting scars.
Fairfield had been living in England under a new identity, an attempt to distance himself from his tumultuous past, only to have Haddock join him, turning a precarious situation into a deadly confrontation.
Following a severe fallout, Haddock unleashed a brutal assault, lunging at Fairfield and inflicting a devastating throat slash, an act that could easily have turned fatal.
Fairfield’s gruesome injury required him to receive 27 stitches to close the gaping wound, while Haddock, the now-exiled UVF chief, found himself behind bars in an English prison following this act of violence.
This week, at the age of 55, Haddock concluded a legal challenge aimed at securing “repatriation” back to Northern Ireland, an effort that has proven contentious and fraught with complications.
But his challenge was intercepted and ultimately dismissed at the High Court on Wednesday, amid growing indications that he may not achieve the objective he so desperately desires.
Should Haddock’s aspirations to return to Northern Ireland come to fruition, he has been clearly warned that there will be no sanctuary awaiting him, even within the confines of a prison.
As the commander of the Mount Vernon unit during a notorious period of sectarian violence, Haddock oversaw a crime syndicate responsible for countless murders, most executed under the watchful eyes and tacit approval of his police handlers.
Haddock and several other members were expelled from the terror organization after a police ombudsman report exposed extensive collusion between law enforcement officials and the Mount Vernon unit’s killers.
In return for testifying against former members of the Mount Vernon UVF, he was granted a new identity and a fresh start away from Northern Ireland, a deal intended to protect him from the wrath of his former associates.
However, he later retracted his statements, seeking favor with the UVF to ensure the safety of his family, allowing them to maintain their residence in the estate.
His long-time partner still resides in Belfast, and Haddock had envisioned moving in with her once his prison term concluded, but those aspirations have now been crushed by recent developments.
“The passage of time doesn’t mean that it’s all forgotten; there is no way back for Haddock,” a UVF source revealed this week, reflecting the deep-seated animosities that persist.
Although some former members have been permitted to remain active within the group—most notably Willie “Muscles” Young, who was heavily implicated in the 1997 murder of Raymond McCord Jr.—Haddock’s fate appears sealed.
The statement made by a loyalist source remains chilling: “He has too many enemies, too many people with scores to settle and who won’t hesitate to take action.”
“His future, whatever it is, lies outside Northern Ireland.”
How does Haddock’s past influence his quest for repatriation to Northern Ireland?
Haddock’s life is a convoluted tale of betrayal and survival, with consequences rippling far beyond his personal connections. Many see him as a cautionary tale about the price of loyalty and the inevitable fallout of choosing sides in a deadly game of sectarian madness.
As he nears the end of his prison term, the possibility of returning to a place that once felt like home looms large, yet what awaits him is a host of unresolved conflicts and grudges that he is both responsible for and victim of. For now, Haddock’s quest for repatriation doesn’t just involve the legal complexities of returning to Northern Ireland but navigating a landscape fraught with hostility and animosity, both from former allies and enemies alike.
Mark Haddock’s name echoes through the corridors of a tumultuous past, a chilling reminder that while one can attempt to escape their history, the ramifications of their choices can often catch up with them in unforeseen ways.