2024-04-19 10:13:32
When I see the cherry blossoms, which announce the arrival of spring, I feel sadness and tears overflow. For Takuya Matsunaga (37), who lost his beloved wife and child in a road accident, the days approaching April 19, the anniversary of his death, are “the hardest of the year.”
However, the fifth anniversary of his death in a car accident in Ikebukuro, Tokyo, comes amid major changes that will lead to his future. Indeed, the interaction with the attacker, a 92-year-old inmate, with whom he had crossed paths, had started shortly before, which was a step forward to prevent this from happening once more.
On the 19th, in front of a memorial near the accident site, Matsunaga said emphatically: “The phase, the scene has changed. Even if we continue to blame him, accidents will not disappear. Aiming to increase the number of systems in place to reduce the risk of road accidents, he said: “I want his regrets to become an asset to society, and I want society as a whole to think regarding the way to prevent this from happening. once more.” (Digital Editorial Department / Noriyuki Fukuoka)
◆Suffering from a “birthday reaction”
It’s been five years since I lost my wife Mana (31 years old at the time of the accident) and my eldest daughter Riko (3 years old at the time) in the accident. Every time the anniversary of his death approached, Mr. Matsunaga was attacked by the “anniversary reaction” (details explained later in the article).
It was the same on the 5th. Mr. Matsunaga saw Sakura coming home from work and thought, “She is beautiful.”
At the same time, images of two people laughing under the cherry tree appeared in my mind.
“I go back to the time when I admired cherry blossoms. My sadness returns.”
That day, Matsunaga cried alone on the train, burying her face in her backpack.
◆ Letter “I feel a little better”
Bouquets of flowers gathered in front of a cenotaph near the accident site on the 19th in the Toshima district of Tokyo.
However, there have been some events this year that have made me a little more positive. On the followingnoon of the next day, the 6th, I received a letter from the prison containing the words of an inmate.
In March, Matsunaga used the Justice Department’s “Victim Feelings Listening and Communication System” to send questions and thoughts to male inmates across the prison. That was the answer.
In the letter, the man responded to Matsunaga’s appeal: “I want your failure to become an asset to society. Would you like to join me in thinking that I don’t want another abuser like me to be born? » agreed, and the letter indicated that he would be willing to meet with Mr. Matsunaga.
Matsunaga was worried: “Is (the inmate) physically fit enough to speak? » The door to avoid a recurrence, which I was not sure would open or not, is now open, and on the 6th he smiled and told reporters: “I feel a little better. »
Since anyone can be either the perpetrator or the victim of a road accident, he says it is important to hear everyone’s opinion and he hopes to reduce the number of accidents by saying: “Don’t lose hope for the future.” “I want to continue working with him (the inmate).”
◆From conflict to dialogue: The situation has changed in 5 years
Takuya Matsunaga (left) and Yoshinori Uehara are surrounded by reporters during an interview in Toshima Ward, Tokyo on the 19th.
The reason why Matsunaga is able to communicate with the male inmates is due to the changes in his situation over the past five years.
During the criminal trial, Matsunaga wanted the man to face the lives of the two men and his own crime.
Because of this, Matsunaga continued to take a harsh stance towards men, telling reporters that she would become a demon during the criminal trial.
However, because of this, he feared that the public denigration of the abuser would become more intense, and he was conflicted. I also believed that if the atmosphere of questioning individual responsibility became too strong, society as a whole would become less aware of how to prevent accidents from happening once more.
At a criminal trial in September 2021, he was sentenced to five years in prison for violating the Driving Penalties (Death and Culpable Injury) Act. The civil trial ended in October 2023 with Matsunaga’s victory.
With the legal battle once morest this man over, she believes the situation has finally arrived where they can talk “as people” to avoid a repeat offense.
◆ “Excuse Index”
I still regret the loss of Mana and Riko’s lives.
The “birthday reaction” did not change even following receiving a positive response from the man. On the 18th, the day before she died, she cried while walking 10 minutes from the station to her workplace.
Takuya Matsunaga responding to an interview on the 19th in the Toshima district, Tokyo.
Still, Matsunaga said, “In order to avoid a recurrence, (your own) personal feelings are not the first priority.”
She hopes to meet the man as soon as possible.
On the 19th, near the accident site, Matsunaga told reporters: “I want him to find an excuse. I think there are seeds and clues in the excuse to prevent this from happening once more. »
The man’s leg problems at the time of the accident influenced the accident, and his ability to transition to a life without relying on a car, etc. We heard facts that might not be heard even in the trial, and this led to a debate within society at large.
“I believe his words are the culmination of our efforts. We are still learning from the Ikebukuro accident and preventing similar accidents. I want this to be a year in which we will be able to put his words to good use in society.”
Six years following the accident, Mr. Matsunaga is taking on a new challenge to move closer to a society without road accidents.
Private car hit-and-run accident in IkebukuroShortly following noon on April 19, 2019, an 87-year-old man was driving a car in Ikebukuro, Tokyo, when he continued to press the accelerator, mistaking it for the brake, and entered an intersection with a red light . Matsunaga’s wife, Mana, then 31, and his eldest daughter Riko, then 3, were struck and killed while crossing the crosswalk on bicycles. Nine other people were seriously injured.
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◆What is a “birthday reaction”?
Takuya Matsunaga (front) and Yoshinori Uehara lay flowers at a memorial near the accident site on the 19th in the Toshima district of Tokyo.
According to Chizuru Akada (Grief Studies), who studies families bereaved by traffic accidents at Kwansei Gakuin University’s Bereavement and Bereavement Research Center, the “birthday reaction” is a phenomenon in which bereaved families who have experienced loss react to anniversaries of death, birthdays, etc. A reaction that causes depression and other symptoms in response to events such as wedding anniversaries. Seasonal scenes like cherry blossoms or the sound of fireworks can also be a trigger.
This is not uncommon and is a natural reaction that can happen to anyone.
The feelings of the deceased come back to life and feelings of depression are recreated. The specific nature of the reaction varies from person to person and may include “not being able to enjoy anything,” “increased feelings of guilt,” and “agitation.” There are cases where people lock themselves in their homes because they don’t want to meet anyone, and their daily lives are disrupted.
Mana’s father, Yoshinori Uehara (66), who was interviewed with Takuya Matsunaga on the 19th, said: “I want to see Mana and Riko and hug them. Every year around this time I have trouble falling asleep. ‘
In most cases, the illness gradually improves over time and people return to their daily lives, but the time it takes varies from person to person.
Everyone has different ways of coping.
For the person themselves, it is important to first understand that their current difficulties are a natural reaction called the “birthday reaction”. If possible, letting your workplace or other supporters know regarding your condition can help them receive consideration and help. Deciding on your own rituals to celebrate your birthday each year can give you a sense of security.
People around the person should first listen to what they want to do, and then think regarding what they can do.
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