2023-06-08 14:34:18
June 08, 2023
For many reasons, raising a child alone today is not an extraordinary situation. But how to react when the other parent has left and does not want to get involved? How do you explain it to your child? What might be the repercussions on the latter? We take stock with Aline Nativel Id Hammou, clinical psychologist, specialist in childhood, adolescence and the family.
Raising a child alone can be apprehensive for many people. ” Faced with the social models sent back, especially within the school, the child will wonder regarding his family situation. begins Aline Nativel Id Hammou. ” And why don’t I have a dad? », can he wonder
Some single parents worry regarding possible repercussions linked to the absence, but the psychologist – who is careful to point out that each situation is unique – explains “ that with an adapted speech, nothing will prevent the child from developing normally. »
Focus on sincerity
Context of the separation, the arrival of the child…” It is important to speak clearly regarding the situation », note Aline Nativel Id Hammou. « Even if he doesn’t ask questions. Because your child will necessarily have it. The fact that he doesn’t question you may be his way of protecting you. Try to be as objective as possible, to be benevolent (provided of course that the situation is not dramatic… There is no point in blaming the other or showing your sadness by sobbing in your son’s arm or your daughter. »
« The child will not necessarily feel a lack of affection “. The important thing being, for the psychologist, to also emphasize what she calls ” attachment figures “, namely grandparents, uncles, aunts etc.
Avoid the “ricochet”
The way of telling the story is all the more important as it will avoid any risk of ricochet. Clearly, that the child feels responsible for the breakup of his parents. ” This guilt might lead to relationship difficulties, behavioral problems, an inability to feel loved… All of this might also affect schooling and self-esteem. »
Recommendations that are sometimes easier to state than to implement. A piece of advice, then, allow yourself to put the story down on paper and sort out what you would like to share. If you are having difficulty, talk to those around you. And if you are really anxious, a child psychiatrist or a family psychologist can support you by setting up parental guidance. »
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Source : Interview with Aline Nativel Id Hammou clinical psychologist, specialist in childhood, adolescence and the family in Nanterre.
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Written by : Vincent Roche – Edited by: Emmanuel Ducreuzet
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