2023-12-19 07:00:02
If a birth is regularly associated with the “miracle of life”, it leads to major changes which can be very difficult for some women, both from a physical and mental point of view. In their privacy, the return to sexuality is sometimes difficult for young mothers: 83% of them present sexual problems at three months, and another 64% at six months, a significant percentage that we don’t talk about much. Manon Bonnet, sexologist specializing in perinatal care, is trying to deconstruct this taboo. She publishes “Sexplorez after baby”, a practical guide to relieve and relieve women who have just given birth and help them return to fulfilling sexuality in due time.
The therapist has observed in her practice that many people and couples experience postpartum difficulties. For women, fatigue, hormones, bodily changes are so many factors that can lead to a drop in desire, yet they sometimes feel inadequate and guilty for no longer having a sex life with their partner: “There is pressure, an injunction, to resume sexuality, and therefore some women will resume quickly even though they have no desire or fear.”
Childbirth is such an upheaval for the body that taking time for yourself and taking care of your baby is very necessary, but often overlooked: “In my way of working, I first collect a lot of information. You have to make them let go of the injunctions. Sometimes there are lots of beliefs that mix together, some are afraid of being deceived for example. It’s normal that the body needs time to recover after childbirth, it’s not three months, it could be a year.”
This very special period in a woman’s life can have effects up to two or three years after giving birth according to the sexologist: “The mother’s brain changes during pregnancy and post-partum. They can lose their words, be in a mental fog. The return to sexuality also depends on the feelings, not all hormones stabilize in three months, far from it. Every woman is different. It’s also a time when many women will question themselves. There may be a change in values, they no longer know who they are, all mixed with extreme fatigue , and it’s certain that when you’re exhausted you have trouble thinking correctly. Losing your bearings in sexuality is just one symptom among others.”
Postpartum also comes with a transformed body, which must be tamed. These changes are difficult to live with for some women, who feel less desirable and who therefore also desire less, reports midwife Valentine Fabien. Changes related to breastfeeding can also lead to a loss of libido, she says: “Women who are still breastfeeding at 6 months postpartum describe less sexual pleasure than those who are not breastfeeding or more. Orgasms are described as less intense for breastfeeding women, and return to the same as before in terms of intensity once breastfeeding finished.”
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