During the reconciliation press conference: Doskozil knots Rendi-Wagner’s shoelaces

HELMUT FOHRINGER/APA/picturedesk.com

After strife comes reconciliation. And with the SPÖ, reconciliation is followed by arguments. Communication researchers speak of the so-called social-democratic spiral of conflict. Current example: During a discussion between Pamela Rendi-Wagner and Hans-Peter Doskozil, the latter knotted his boss’s shoelaces.

VIENNA – For this moment, both trained for months with dozens of highly paid NLP consultants. Party leader Pamela Rendi-Wagner and the Burgenland revolutionary Hans Peter Doskozil, the “Che Guevara on Uhudler” (The New York Times), enter the stage. Her body language is open, amical, turned towards. They smile at each other robotically and shake hands, then they disinfect themselves for minutes, the pandemic is apparently still taken very seriously by both of them.

Unusual unity

These are images that were considered impossible yesterday: the party is demonstrating unity, today there are only four ridiculous hateful cover stories of the two in the tabloid media – a debacle in the Salzburg elections is to be prevented.

“My dear Hans Peter, I am very pleased, as a person and as a doctor, that you have made the journey to Vienna. It’s your first time in civilisa-, uh, in the city. Welcome!” Doskozil thanks him for the warm words.

Occupy SPÖ topics

“Dear Pamela, let’s leave the argument behind, you last-rate, snobbish salon leftist, you. There are currently so many classic SPÖ issues that people are concerned with: skyrocketing rents, record inflation, the energy crisis.” Rendi-Wagner adds: “And of course the rising Crémant prices.” The two smile at each other. “If you’ll excuse me, my shoe ripped open,” Doskozil smiles and bends down.

Insidious sabotage

While Rendi-Wagner plays on her favorite topics – such as her clear stance for asylum and against asylum – her doksozil secretly knots the shoelaces of her Moncler ankle boots. The insidious act of sabotage succeeds. Doskozil gets up, blushing, thanks for the appointment and leaves. Rendi-Wagner wants to follow him and stumbles over the lectern.

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When Doskozil doubles over laughing and sits down again, he suddenly screams out. Rendi-Wagner put tacks on his chair. The social-democratic spiral of disputes is in full swing.

Several SPÖ advisors rush over and take photos. “We pass that on to the media” Doskozil and Rendi-Wagner smile. “Brilliant, keyword: even bad news are good news.”

A motto that has also been the official slogan of the party since 2018. Social Democracy has reached the zenith of its work, the 4 percent hurdle in the next National Council election actually seems to be manageable.

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