The right athlete should have the right price.
But the system of retroactive medals is starting to look like a farce.
Why not run the rope fully?
Tyson vs Paul – a gimmick.
Photo: JULIO CORTEZ / AP TT NEWS AGENCY
The bronze glistened in the sunshine and the Swedish-Ethiopian runner Abeba Aregawi smiled on the podium next to the Eiffel Tower.
The medal she received during the summer Olympics was for a race she ran twelve years earlier.
Soon she will get a silver instead.
It’s messy, but the idea is good. If cheating is proven, medals are taken back and given to athletes who deserve them better.
But the question is how much the audience really cares about justice. Maybe the only thing that matters is that we are entertained for the moment?
Doping in the Olympics is foolish – but tickling for many
Mike Tyson lost the hyped fight against Jake Paul. Whether it was the boxers’ competence or what was written in a contract that decided the match is unclear.
Regardless, it already felt like a stunt in advance.
But the interest was enormous. According to Netflix, over 60 million watched. How many failed to stream the broadcast was not communicated.
Back in the day, we laughed at the testosterone-fueled wrestling with its fixed matches and lousy acting. But the line between sport and entertainment has never been as thin as it is now. New formats are constantly being created that challenge the traditional sport.
One of them is the “Enhanced Games”, which is marketed as an alternative Olympics where doping is allowed to flow freely and where world records are to be slaughtered.
Foolish, of course. But surely tickling many who mutter indignantly that most are doped anyway, just as well to make it fair.
The truth is that most of them are not doped and that the sport is cleaner than before.
During the Paris Olympics, 6130 tests were performed. Only four were positive. Plus a horse.
But don’t worry, more people will go there.
Abeba Aregawi.
Photo: MAXIM THORE / BILDBYRÅN
Why not make a show out of this?
The cheaters are often said to be one step ahead, but the doping hunters have a trump card. Nowadays, the samples are saved for ten years and at any time they can be retested with new, refined technology.
No one is safe.
In the winter of 2022, the International Testing Agency announced that the analyzes from the 2012 Olympics were complete.
The result: 73 new doping cases.
31 medals were withdrawn, 46 medals changed hands.
It is in the wake of this that Olympic fifth-place finisher Abeba Aregawi will now get a silver, even though she just got a bronze.
Since we still don’t know how the competitions end until much later – why not play with the idea of presenting all the doping tests at the same time and making a show of justice as well.
I see great TV shows in front of me.
After twelve years of intensive analyses, the final field gathers again, this time in a studio.
Think Squid Game.
The TV series Squid Game.
Photo: Noh Juhan / Netflix
Participants in a row. Dressed up. Crowded stands. Lights and sounds.
The race is shown on the jumbotron. An expert panel of doctors and suspended athletes discusses. No one believes the race’s runner-up, a Turkish woman who, before the Olympics, has improved by an unimaginable 17 seconds.
But opinions don’t matter. The final lab report applies.
And now it must be decided. For real.
You start from the back. The final’s three worst runners get the green light.
When the turn comes to the race’s ninth, a Russian, it flashes red, a trapdoor opens and she disappears. The crowd boos.
So there it goes. The Slovakian is doing well, the Belarusian is not as lucky. A syringe tip folds out of the seat cushion. She jumps in pain and then plummets into the abyss of shame.
The tour comes to Abeba Aregawi. The presenter asks about her positive doping test from 2016, which she was cleared of. Could she have had something in her in 2012 as well?
It lights up green.
Abeba Aregawi.
Photo: JESSICA GOW/EPA TT NEWS AGENCY
The shame for the cheaters would be greater
After that, another Russian falls down and later also the runner-up of the race, the Turkish woman with the huge improvement.
When the race’s number one, the Turkish Cakir Alptekin, is pushed into a tub of epo to the delight of the spectators, it is clear that Jamal from Bahrain is the Olympic champion.
Aregawi gets silver.
Five doping cases in the same final! The audience howls, the drugged horse enters the studio and a jaunty Janne Josefsson-type joins in on the link from an upset Turkey.
Victory interview and confetti.
The competition is finally decided and it is held in award ceremony, not like now – five.
Okay, you can file the details. But the audience would both be entertained and understand who actually won – at the same time as the shame for the cheaters became greater.
Karlsson’s short
The sports gala’s nominations have arrived. Sarah Sjöström won two Olympic golds and is nominated in two categories. But her coach Antonio Lutula is not nominated for Leader of the Year.
I’m reminded why I dropped that jury after just one year.
Vanessa Kamga can win the award as “Newcomer of the Year”. The Olympic fifth from last summer is a lovely profile, but she is no newcomer. She is 25 years old and made her championship debut in 2018. The Paris Olympics was her sixth senior championship.
Hirscher, Tyson, Vonn. It is undoubtedly the time of comebacks. This weekend I won’t miss the return of a 36-year-old mother of small children to cross-country skiing. Won’t be a bit surprised if Therese Johaug is in a class of her own in the Norwegian premiere.
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Jonas Karlsson is a sports journalist and writes columns in Expressen during the winter.
Welcome, sports fans, and those of you who’ve accidentally clicked on this article while searching for cat videos! Let’s dive into the wonderful world of Olympic drama, where medals spark joy, and an athlete’s past can become muddier than a mud-wrestling match on a rainy day.
The premise is simple: the right athlete should have the right price. But let’s face it – the system of retroactive medals is starting to look like my mum’s lasagna: it’s complicated, messy, and just when you think you know what you’re going to get, you find out she added a surprise layer of cottage cheese!
Now, let’s address the elephant in the room. Or should I say a “gimmick” in the boxing ring? Enter Tyson versus Paul – a match so scripted that even Shakespeare would’ve raised an eyebrow. Mike Tyson lost the fight, but let’s be honest, the real winner was Netflix, raking in over 60 million views! That’s right, folks; while real athletes sweat it out, we’re tuning in to watch two blokes throw punches like they’re in a ‘90s action movie. Marvel at the athletic prowess! Or, maybe just marvel at the amount of popcorn you can consume while watching!
What a time to be alive, eh? The lines between sport and entertainment are thinner than the ice on a frozen pond in April. Remember when we used to chuckle at scripted professional wrestling? Now we’re just one short step away from Olympic athletes parachuting into stadiums while dodging pyrotechnics and untested horses. Let’s not kid ourselves – it’s a spit away from becoming a reality show! Welcome to “So You Think You Can Cheaty?”
And speaking of reality, let’s chat about our friend Abeba Aregawi, who is now receiving a medal for a race she ran twelve years ago. That’s right, folks! If you thought you were late on paying your taxes, wait until you hear about her delayed medal. At this rate, why not just throw a party every decade to hand them out?
But this whole retroactive medal thing brings forth an interesting question: how much do we, the audience, actually care about justice in sports? I mean, sure, we cheer for clean athletes, but let’s not kid ourselves; if the event included interpretive dance and wind-blown hair flips, we’d be there in our sparkliest spandex tutus!
The proposal of “Enhanced Games” where doping is as common as a post-match snack is a glorious stroke of absurdity and might just be the key to saving humanity. Imagine athletes being cheered on as they sprint past a refreshing syringe station like it’s a drink stop at a marathon. They’d be popping EPO and setting records that’d make your grandma gasp.
If doping’s doing the doping, is the world just a big, shiny circus?
Moving on to the serious stuff – yes, the doping tests. The International Testing Agency kept samples for ten years, probably in a dusty storeroom next to my old beanie baby collection, and guess what? Seventy-three new doping cases were found! It’s like they say, “No one is safe,” except maybe the horse! Talk about hoofing it to another level of irony!
But, envision this: a live show where we present doping test results in real time! I can hear the audience now: “Ladies and gentlemen, presenting the athletes of yesteryear, now in technicolor! Watch out for the trapdoor! Impressive performances, but probably with a performance-enhancer-induced twist!” The cheaters would be revealed on stage, and their shame would make even the toughest gangster cringe in embarrassment. It’s like “The Hunger Games,” but for Olympic medals. What a thrill!
So, if they really want to make this work, let’s give it some razzle-dazzle and a side order of moral piety. We’d have a show so engaging that even the couch potatoes among us would strap on our running shoes just to get to the TV in time!
Karlsson’s Short: Snappy Observations!
- Nominations are out: Sarah Sjöström’s got all the gold and yet her coach misses out. Classic case of not all heroes wearing capes… or receiving accolades!
- Newcomer of the Year: Vanessa Kamga, who’s nearly 30, and has been around for ages. Talk about trying to refresh the “new” with an older vintage – where’s the fun in that?
- The Comeback Kings: Hirscher, Tyson, and Vonn are all back! Just goes to show 36 is the new 26, or was it 56?!
So there you have it, folks: Olympic medals are being passed around like party favors, wrestlers are literally wrestling with existential dilemmas, and athletes are just one bad test away from becoming part of our reality TV reincarnation. Embrace the chaos, for it’s the only thing we have that’s consistent!
Until next time, remember that in sports, just like in life, it’s all about the entertainment – and maybe, just maybe, a little bit of honest-to-goodness athletic integrity.
The right athlete at the right price could be the key to fan engagement and excitement.
However, the current system of retroactive medal reassessment is beginning to resemble a farcical spectacle.
Why not fully embrace the concept and make the process more transparent?
In the matchup of Tyson vs Paul, a spectacle is revealed as mere gimmickry.
Photo: JULIO CORTEZ / AP TT NEWS AGENCY
The bronze medal shimmered brilliantly in the Parisian sunlight as Abeba Aregawi, the Swedish-Ethiopian middle-distance runner, beamed with joy during her Olympic podium appearance alongside the iconic Eiffel Tower.
The medal she proudly received during the summer Olympics was not for a recent race but for one she had completed a staggering twelve years prior.
What’s even more remarkable is that soon she will have her bronze upgraded to a silver medal.
This system may appear messy, yet its underlying principle is promising: if doping is conclusively proven, medals can be rightfully reallocated to those who genuinely earned them.
However, one must ponder how invested the audience truly is in the concept of fairness. Is their primary interest simply fleeting entertainment?
Doping in the Olympics is indeed trivial – yet remarkably captivating for many.
Mike Tyson’s highly publicized bout against Jake Paul ended with Tyson’s defeat. The motivations behind this result—be it skill or contractual obligations—remain largely speculative.
Despite the uncertainty, the fight felt like a carefully orchestrated stunt from the get-go.
Nevertheless, the public’s interest surged to astronomical heights. According to Netflix, the match captured the attention of over 60 million viewers, although the specifics on who might have missed it remain undisclosed.
Nostalgia reminds us of the days when we chuckled at the theatrics of testosterone-laden wrestling, adorned with staged matches and poor acting. Yet, the boundary separating sport from entertainment has become increasingly nebulous in modern times. Innovative formats are continually emerging, challenging traditional notions of athletic competition.
One such initiative is the “Enhanced Games,” an audaciously branded alternative Olympics where doping is not only tolerated but encouraged, ensuring world records are relentlessly shattered.
Admittedly foolish, this concept certainly resonates with those who malign the prevalence of doping in sports, suggesting that if most athletes are doping anyway, fairness would dictate that all should partake.
In reality, the majority of athletes are not using performance-enhancing drugs, and the integrity of the sport is more intact than ever before.
During the recent Paris Olympics, a total of 6,130 doping tests were conducted, yielding only four positive results—with the amusing exception of a horse.
But don’t fret, the spectacle is sure to draw more fans in droves.
Abeba Aregawi.
Photo: MAXIM THORE / BILDBYRÅN
So, why not turn this into a grand spectacle?
While it’s often said that cheaters stay a step ahead, the supporters of clean sports have an ace up their sleeves. Samples are now preserved for up to ten years, allowing for retesting with evolving technologies at any juncture.
No athlete remains beyond the reach of scrutiny.
In early 2022, the International Testing Agency declared the results of the analyses from the 2012 Olympics concluded, resulting in a staggering 73 fresh doping violations.
A total of 31 medals were revoked, and 46 medallists were required to relinquish their titles.
It is in this aftermath that Olympic fifth-place finisher Abeba Aregawi is poised to receive a silver medal, despite having recently celebrated a bronze.
If the conclusions of competitions take so long to finalize, why not capitalize on that uncertainty by orchestrating a dramatic event that showcases all the doping test results in one go, blending justice with entertainment?
One can envision captivating television events in the near future.
After years of meticulous evaluations, the athletes would converge once again, but this time not on the track, but in a meticulously designed studio.
Imagine a scenario reminiscent of the hit series Squid Game.
Photo: Noh Juhan / Netflix
Participants lined up for the ultimate showdown. The atmosphere is electric, with packed stands, dazzling lights, and dramatic sounds.
On a gigantic screen, the race is replayed. An expert panel composed of doctors and previously suspended athletes deliberates. Skepticism looms over the runner-up, a Turkish competitor whose time improvement of an astonishing 17 seconds raises eyebrows.
Yet, the consensus may lose importance beside the final lab analysis.
And so the process unfolds. The final’s bottom three finishers receive a chance to renew their standing.
When it’s the penultimate competitor’s turn, a Russian athlete, the screen flashes a striking red, activating a trapdoor that sends her plummeting from the stage. The audience erupts in boos.
As the Slovakian demonstrates skill, the Belarusian meets a less fortunate fate. A syringe tip unexpectedly springs forth from the seat cushion; she cries out in surprise and vanishes into a depth of ignominy.
Finally, it’s Abeba Aregawi’s moment on stage. The host brings up her 2016 positive doping test, which ultimately resulted in her exoneration. Was she hiding something from her prowess in 2012 as well?
The answer illuminates in vibrant green.
Abeba Aregawi.
Photo: JESSICA GOW/EPA TT NEWS AGENCY
The shame experienced by cheaters could reach a whole new level.
One by one, another Russian faces elimination, followed by the Turkish runner-up with her unexplained time boost.
When the race winner, Turkish athlete Cakir Alptekin, is unceremoniously dumped into a tub of epo to the crowd’s delight, it becomes undeniably clear that Jamal from Bahrain is the rightful Olympic champion.
Aregawi stands proud with her silver.
Five doping scandals from this single event! The audience’s disbelief transforms into raucous energy, while a drugged horse makes its way into the studio, joined by an intrepid correspondent reporting from distraught Turkey.
Victory interviews roll out amid cascades of confetti.
The competition finally reaches a conclusion, all within a single award ceremony, contrasting sharply with the drawn-out, fragmented current process.
Details aside, the audience would find both entertainment and clarity regarding who truly emerged victorious, while simultaneously amplifying the shame felt by the disqualified.
Karlsson’s short
The selections for the sports gala have been announced. Sarah Sjöström, with her two Olympic golds, has earned nominations in multiple categories, though her coach, Antonio Lutula, conspicuously absent from the Leader of the Year nominations.
Vanessa Kamga stands poised to take home the “Newcomer of the Year” award. Though she shone at the Olympics, she is 25 years old and made her championship debut in 2018, making the Paris Olympics her sixth senior championship.
The atmosphere of comebacks is palpable with figures like Hirscher, Tyson, and Vonn returning to the limelight. This weekend, I’m particularly excited to witness the comeback of a 36-year-old mother to cross-country skiing. I wouldn’t be surprised at all if Therese Johaug dominates in the Norwegian season opener.
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Jonas Karlsson is a sports journalist and writes columns in Expressen during the winter.
