Besides understanding themselves, women need to strive to overcome their own weaknesses, self-created prejudices to achieve equality in the family as well as in society.
Compared to my college classmates, I got married and had children quite early, at the age of 25. After 6 years, I gave birth to my second child. The youngest was born in 2020, 4 years older than the second.
If you want equality, you have to go to work
After giving birth three times, I had to be quite self-sufficient in taking care of my children because my family situation might not be helped by both paternal and maternal sides. There were periods when I completely quit the company, just stayed at home to take care of the children, and took advantage of the extra work online with my husband.
Having 3 children means having 3 times of maternity leave, then job-hopping. With my first baby, I went to work following giving birth 3 and a half months. With the second child, following giving birth for nearly a year, I applied for a job at a new company. With the third child, due to the impact of the COVID-19 pandemic, I took half a year off before giving birth, the child was more than 1 year old, I just went back to work.
Usually when the child is 1 year old, starting to go to kindergarten, the mother goes to work, is the most difficult period. New school children are often sick constantly. There was a time when I thought regarding not working anymore, just focusing on being a housewife and taking care of children.
Those are really frustrating times. The money they make is not enough to pay for medicines and medical care for their children. Sometimes I stay up all night taking care of children, the next day I embark on a headache task at the company. After going to work for a few days, I asked for leave, my boss was annoyed, my colleagues were difficult to sympathize with… My husband encouraged me: “If you find it too hard, just stay at home. I will try to earn more”.
But fortunately, in such difficult times, I always remember the maxim: “There’s no such thing as a free lunch”. there is a price to pay)
I am not talking regarding the case of women who like family life, happiness only revolves around the two words husband and children. That type of woman, if she is lucky enough to have a husband who is able to fully secure her finances, sympathize and support her stay at home, then she can completely choose to become a full-time housewife.
The rest, many women still pin their “gender stereotypes” with the thought that being a wife and mother is a woman’s vocation; sacrifice for family, children are important, career is secondary… Therefore, they have accepted to quit their jobs at a turning point in life such as giving birth and raising children. This prevents them from pursuing their dreams, unable to assert their ability and standing in life.
In fact, to have an equal voice in the family, women have to work. Whatever you do, don’t “weakly” abandon your professional activities. Moreover, going to work helps women feel happier, more dynamic and younger when learning new things, meeting colleagues, accepting challenges and overcoming in work.
Select goals for each stage
The “price to pay” for the years of working when children are young is often having to lower their standards. The house is a little messy, if the child is sick but not dangerous, he still sends him to kindergarten. Sometimes when busy, don’t have time to cook, buy ready-to-eat food, canned food… Modern life has many opportunities and services for women to choose from. Don’t push yourself too hard to live up to expectations: be good at waterwork, take care of housework.
Sometimes there is another “price to pay”, which is that in times when it is not possible to dedicate 100% to work, women may choose to work in a small, lower-paid company. The goal of making money and developing yourself is temporarily shelved; set a short-term goal of gaining experience, so that the resume does not stay blank for too long. Then slowly learn, connect relationships, plus wait for the children to grow up, stronger, then move to a workplace with a better income.
Women in their 30s and 40s are a period of double pressure. Just worry regarding working, making a living, taking care of your career and taking care of having children and raising children. If we know how to arrange, have a clear plan, try every day, when we look back, we will see that we are not too lost compared to our friends. The children grow up gradually, women will have a full and satisfactory life, not having to choose one of two terms: “career” or “family”.
