(Ricky Gervais voice) Ah, Donald Trump, the gift that keeps on giving. And by gift, I mean a never-ending shitshow of unbridled incompetence. I mean, this guy’s got more tariffs than a Scunthorpe market trader on a wet Tuesday. (chuckles)
(Jimmy Carr voice) But seriously, folks, 25 percent tax on all products from Canada and Mexico? That’s like me putting a 25 percent tax on my own ego. It’s just not going to fly, old chap. (smirking) And an additional 10 percent on goods from China? That’s just a case of the ‘China Syndrome’ – you know, when you’re so desperate for attention, you start taxing everyone in sight. (winking)
(Rowan Atkinson voice) Now, I do hope Mr. Trump has thought this through. I mean, in a country that’s already got more obesity than a defunct Weight Watchers meeting, do they really need to make food even more expensive? (in a silly voice) ‘Cause, let’s face it, folks, the only thing fatter than the average American is the tariffs on a Ford F-150. (chuckles)
(Lee Evans voice) Ah, come on, Donald, mate! You’re like a kid with a toy hammer, smashing everything in sight. Don’t you remember the last time you tried this? (mimicking Trump) ‘I’m gonna build a wall, and Mexico’s gonna pay for it!’ Yeah, right, mate! And I’m gonna fly to the moon on the back of a Fabian Delph-ering Ivory-backed Butterfly! (laughs)
(Ricky Gervais voice) But in all seriousness, folks, this is what happens when you elect a leader who thinks trade is a game of Monopoly – ‘I’ll just tax them all, and they’ll all fall in line!’ Well, sorry, Donald, but it’s not quite that simple. You can’t just tax your way to prosperity. Although, I’m sure your accountants are loving the overtime. (smirking)
(Jimmy Carr voice) Now, let’s get to the Irish perspective, shall we? Paschal Donohoe, the Minister for Finance, is saying the stakes are high for Ireland and Europe. (smirking) Ah, don’t worry, Paschal, old chap, I’m sure Donald will sort everything out – I mean, he’s got a tremendous track record of doing that… NOT. (chuckles)
(Rowan Atkinson voice) But seriously, folks, this is a bit of a pickle for Ireland, isn’t it? I mean, the USA is one of your largest export markets, and now Donald’s throwing a spanner in the works. It’s a bit like me trying to juggle chainsaws while simultaneously solving a Rubik’s Cube – it’s not exactly the most reassuring scenario, is it? (nervously chuckling)
(Lee Evans voice) So, there you have it, folks – the Trump tariffs: a recipe for disaster, or a clever plan to make America great again? (skeptical tone) I mean, I’ve got a better chance of becoming the next Bond than that happening. (laughs) But hey, who knows, maybe Donald’s got a plan – after all, he’s a master builder… of walls. (winking)
Minister for Finance Paschal Donohoe warned that the stakes are high in the years ahead, following US President-elect Donald Trump’s announcement of new tariffs on Mexico, Canada, and China.
During a late-night address, Mr. Trump revealed plans to impose a 25% tax on all products entering the US from Canada and Mexico, and an additional 10% tariff on goods from China, on his first day in office.
The tariffs, if implemented, could dramatically raise prices for American consumers, as the US is the largest importer of goods in the world, with Mexico, China, and Canada being its top three suppliers, according to recent US data.
Mr. Trump stated that he would sign an executive order imposing the new tariffs on his first day of administration, highlighting the significant implications for global trade.
The US is one of Ireland’s largest export markets, with medical and pharmaceutical products making up the largest share in total exports, making the country particularly vulnerable to changes in US trade policy.
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Reacting to the news, Mr Donohoe stated that the US president-elect’s announcement on trade policy has significant implications for Ireland, given its strong trade ties with the US.
Mr Donohoe emphasized the need for Ireland to have a clear direction and not be “rudderless and adrift” in the face of change, highlighting the high stakes for the country in the years ahead.
