2023-11-11 02:01:00
After just one and a half years, the patient went from Level 1 to Level 4. The level of care given to his wife, who developed early-onset dementia in her early 40s, rapidly increased. Amid an increase in behavior such as wandering around, going out shirtless, and defecating in the kitchen, her husband, who supports her with patient and devoted care, talks about how he would deal with the death of a loved one in his family.
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[Synopsis of the first part]Aoji Hiyama (pseudonym, 40s, married), who lives in the Kansai region, married a woman three years older than him when he was 31 years old. Immediately after giving birth to our second child, my wife started muttering things she didn’t understand, such as “I have to go home.” Tests revealed that he had early-onset dementia. After that, Ms. Hiyama began a hard life, watching over his wife, taking care of their two children, preparing them for kindergarten, and taking them to and from school.Telework ended
August 2020. When his son turned 3 months old, he wanted to put him in a nursery school, but there were no spaces available and he couldn’t get into a nursery school. Aoji Hiyama (pseudonym, 40s), whose telework (manufacturer development job) was scheduled to end at the end of August, was at a loss, but from September, his wife and son, who suffers from early-onset dementia, will be living at home. I decided to take care of it.
My son was able to enter nursery school in October. In addition to receiving home-visit nursing care twice a week on weekdays, her wife started using day care services three times a week.
These days, Hiyama wakes up at 6 a.m. to have breakfast, makes her daughter’s bento twice a week, and wakes her children up at 7 a.m. for breakfast. She wakes up her wife at 7:30, helps her get dressed, and prepares for the daycare service. She dropped off her eldest son at nursery school at 7:45 and her eldest daughter at kindergarten at 8:10, then dropped off her wife and went to work at 8:30. She works from 9 a.m. to about 5:45 p.m. and returns home about 30 minutes later to pick up her children. On her day service days, the helpers were asked to take care of her wife’s arrival, prepare dinner, do the laundry, and clean the house.
I prepared and ate dinner around 7pm, cleaned up around 8pm, bathed the kids around 8:30pm, and put them to bed by 10pm.
At this time, my wife was able to change our son’s diapers and feed him milk, as long as he was supervised.
“After I developed the disease, I was worried about who to tell and how much to tell. How should I tell my wife and my friends? Is it a good idea to tell them in the first place? Although they weren’t very proactive for about three months after the onset of symptoms, the response was… I was able to do so, and I didn’t know how quickly my symptoms would progress, so I kept quiet because I thought, “If I keep quiet, I won’t worry about it,” and I didn’t have the courage to tell anyone about my illness.”
However, in June 2021, when the certification examination was taken again, the result was 1, requiring long-term care. More supervision is needed, and the number of day care services and helpers has increased to five days a week. Around this time, his wanderings became more frequent, and even in the short time between when Mr. Hiyama went to work and when the day care worker or visiting nurse arrived, or after the helper came home and until Mr. Hiyama returned home, he started to disappear from his home. Occurs frequently.
Mr. Hiyama turned on the location information on his wife’s smartphone, but since he was worried about that alone, he decided to put a GPS in her bag as well.
Hiyama decided that he couldn’t stay silent anymore, so he first emailed his wife’s best friend to tell her the truth about his illness.
“I was nervous about what kind of response I would get, but she took it seriously and received such warm and encouraging replies that I almost cried, which made me realize just how much my wife was loved by her best friend.”
Mr. Hiyama then contacted several of his wife’s friends, and all of them not only listened sympathetically, but also worried about Mr. Hiyama and their children.
“Now, thankfully, we’re like mom friends, where we send photos of our children to each other on behalf of my wife and consult about raising children.I also have to tell my friends… …I think”
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