Dennis Schouten talks about his death wish in De Kist

Dennis Schouten Photo: The Box / EO

Gossip-face Dennis Schouten (29) has spoken about his death wish several times. Last night he spoke about it again in the EO program The Chest. And where that wish actually comes from.

Schouten previously joined PowNed as a reporter and now works for its online program Gossipwhich he presents together with Jan Roos, as a mouthy, recalcitrant and self-assured boy. But earlier this year in his book Dennis Schouten: Damaged on the way to death to read that the presenter foresaw that he would end his own life. And that caused quite a stir.

Dennis Schouten about his youth

Schouten has talked about his childhood before. His mother, who probably suffers from Munchausen syndrome by proxy, talked him into all kinds of psychological problems in the past. She made him believe that he was disabled and crazy. She also convinced psychiatrists that Schouten had to take medication. But Schouten discovered that he did not need the medication at all. He himself thinks that the medication he took during puberty has had an effect on his current condition. He no longer speaks to either of his parents.

He told his sister for the first time that he didn’t expect to make it to 50. Schouten explains that when he wakes up, he is often overcome by tension and restlessness. He has days when he feels surprisingly good and has also had relationships. “But when I have a day when I feel restless, she has to go. So you don’t maintain good relationships.”

Death Wish in The Coffin

Schouten develops an urge and drive to become successful and to show that he can do something. But that urge to prove himself is now fading away. “I have not found the happiness that I was looking for.” Schouten says that he cannot feel happy. “On paper I have a fantastic life, but emotionally not.” Because in addition to that missing feeling of happiness, the unrest and negative thoughts, Schouten was extremely frustrated that he could not enjoy his life. “I have put that frustration aside. It is what it is. And now that I have put that frustration aside, it makes a big difference.”

“I try to make the best of it. Since I came to that conclusion, it’s better, because I don’t get frustrated about the bad feeling anymore,” the presenter said. “Embracing nice moments, nice days, is the best for me. And then there are really nice days every now and then.”

Not yet dying

He has now let go of his wish to be happy. He does not see a future with a relationship and children. “If you do not love life yourself, how can you put someone else on earth who has to love life?”

Despite his death wish for the future, he does not want to die yet. He is proud of his online program. “That keeps me going. If I had not succeeded in what I have succeeded in, I would no longer be here. But I am very proud of what I have succeeded in.”

He continues: “I still secretly hope that things will change, but I don’t look for it anymore. It really has to happen to me, because I don’t want any more frustrations.”

Are you thinking about suicide? You are not alone. Contact 113 Suicide Prevention via www.113.nl or call 113 (local rate) or 0800-0113 (free).

You are watching The Coffin back via NPO Start.

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