Being able to be yourself at work: For many queer people, this is still not something that can be taken for granted. Those who speak openly about their own sexual orientation sometimes have negative experiences. And those who have not yet come out at work may think twice about it for exactly that reason.
Why coming out can be worthwhile despite all the fears and how companies create a safer space is explained Karriereexpertin Lara Kieninger in the t3n interview. As Senior Talent Acquisition Manager at Stepstone, she supports various departments in the search for suitable candidates, writes for the Stepstone magazine About_work and optimizes application processes.
Discrimination in the workplace: Why coming out is still an issue
t3n: Let’s start with the following scenario: On Mondays, people at work talk about what they experienced over the weekend. Why do these kinds of conversations still become a balancing act for some people in the LGBTQ* community?
Lara Kieninger: It is completely normal for heterosexual people to talk about their weekend activities or vacation plans with their partners. They don’t even think about it because they conform to the supposed norm.
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For people from the LGBTQ+ community who have not (yet) come out at work, things are different. They have to consider what they say – and especially who they say it to. Unfortunately, gay, lesbian and bisexual people still experience discrimination in the workplace. Trans people are even more affected.
This means that a third of all queer people do not come out at work, as one Study by the German Institute for Economic Research (DIW) showed in 2020. Of course, this can make it difficult to talk about the weekend with your partner.
Lara Kieninger is Senior Talent Acquisition Manager at Stepstone. (Photo: Stepstone)
t3n: You have already mentioned experiences of discrimination. What fears are there around Coming out yet?
First of all, you naturally wonder how your colleagues will react. Unfortunately, various studies have shown that discrimination in the workplace is still a problem.
According to the study, whispering and rumors in the workplace, an unpleasant interest in private life, sexual innuendo and imitating gestures, voice or movement are Out im Office?! Forms of discrimination frequently experienced by the Cologne Institute for Diversity and Anti-Discrimination Research.
Homosexual men earn 2.14 euros less per hour than heterosexual men.
In addition, those affected naturally wonder how their superiors will react and how coming out could affect their future careers. It is true that it can affect promotions, salary and professional success. For example, homosexual men earn 2.14 euros less per hour than heterosexual men, as the DIW study mentioned above has shown.
In this respect, the concerns surrounding coming out at work are understandable at first glance. But it must also be said that coming out is received positively in most cases. In a survey by the Psychological Institute of Cologne, 92 percent of respondents said that their colleagues reacted predominantly positively and in 85 percent of cases their boss did the same.
How do you create a safe environment for coming out?
t3n: How can employers and colleagues create a truly safe environment to reduce such fears as much as possible?
In my opinion, it is not enough to just “tolerate”. Rather, it is about proactively creating an open and inclusive environment in which everyone feels comfortable. It helps if there is a clear corporate culture of diversity and inclusion and this is clearly communicated. This starts with the job advertisement: Is it gender-neutral? Are values such as equal rights and equal opportunities consciously addressed?
In my opinion, it is not enough to just “tolerate”.
One way for companies to raise awareness of the issue of discrimination is through training on unconscious bias. We all grow up with clichés and stereotypes. It is important to understand this and work on it. This is especially true for managers because of their role model function in companies.
At the end of the day, it’s the colleagues and the culture that matter. This often shows itself in the little things: a joke in the coffee room that was “just a joke” but is ultimately discriminatory. A comment about the color pink in men’s clothes that is thoughtless but hurtful. If employees are mindful of this – or are trained by the company – there is a more open environment for coming out.
What are the advantages of coming out at work?
t3n: Since we’re talking about it here and the figures you mentioned on discrimination show that there are still reasons not to come out at work. What arguments would support this?
Whether or not you want to come out in a professional environment is first and foremost a personal decision. Of course there are both advantages and disadvantages, but I see coming out as a topic where you should listen to your gut feeling.
Being able to fully be yourself as a queer person can contribute enormously to your mental well-being.
The argument for coming out is that it puts an end to the game of hide-and-seek, which is associated with a lot of stress, as your initial question has already shown. If you, as a queer person, can be completely yourself, this can contribute enormously to your psychological well-being. Your self-esteem benefits when you are perceived, accepted and valued as the person you really are.
In addition, the individual coming out also helps to normalize the topic in general. It can reduce prejudices and misunderstandings, especially among people who have not had any contact with queerness before.
t3n: And how can such a What does coming out look like once you have decided to do so?
There are various options here. For example, you could speak of your partner instead of your partner (and vice versa) without further explanation. An alternative would be to confide only in close, trusted colleagues.
In some companies, there are also people you can trust or specific contacts in HR. You can approach them if you are unsure about your own coming out and need someone to support you on the way. At Stepstone, for example, you can always turn to our With_Pride community – but also to any other person you trust.
There is no one right way to do this. Rather, everyone has to find the right approach for themselves that they feel comfortable with.
How do I deal with negative reactions?
t3n: What can I do if I have Coming out has negative experiences in the workplace?
In my opinion, it is a clear red flag if you are afraid of coming out in the workplace. If the experience is negative afterwards, that is definitely an incentive to think about changing jobs. It is important to remember that it is not the job of LGBTQ+ people to change the company and the views of employees! It is perfectly acceptable to remove yourself from the situation and look for a new workplace where everyone is welcome as they are.
It is not the job of LGBTQ+ people to change the company and the views of its employees!
Of course, you can also defend yourself legally. According to the General Equal Treatment Act, any form of discrimination in the workplace is prohibited.
My tip would be to find out about the company culture and values before you start working for a company. During the recruiting process, you can certainly ask whether there is a diversity and inclusion strategy and what it looks like.
In smaller and medium-sized companies, which usually do not have such formulated policies, you can ask the manager directly whether diversity and inclusion are practiced in the company and what measures and experiences there are.
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