PSG’s Fumble at Parc des Princes: A Comedy of Errors
Ah, Paris Saint-Germain! The football club that makes you question whether they’re playing for points or just for the laughs. Tuesday’s match against PSV Eindhoven ended in a delightful 1-1 draw—or as I like to call it, an absolute masterclass in underachievement. It’s like watching a magician pull a rabbit out of a hat… and instead, he pulls out a potato!
Still Stuck in the Soft Underbelly
PSG continues to firmly establish itself in the ‘soft underbelly’ of the Champions League table. With four points and sitting comfortably at 17th, they’re closer to the relegation zone than the elite eight. I mean, if they were any lower, they might as well start charging rent. Now, as they gear up for matches against Atlético Madrid and Bayern Munich, they could use a serious kick up the backside—or a miracle. Perhaps they should call an exorcist for all those missed chances haunting them!
A Clumsy Youth
Ah, the youth! They say the future is bright, but in this case, it’s more akin to a toddler with a crayon. Achraf Hakimi’s juggling act in the opening minutes left many wondering if he was auditioning for ‘Dancing with the Stars’ instead of scoring. And don’t get me started on Ousmane Dembélé—blasting a gimme shot like he was trying to send it directly to the moon. Can someone check if these guys’ boots come with instructions? Maybe “kick the ball, don’t kick the air” could be part of the coaching manual!
The Despair of the Park
Now, if you thought the first half was tragic, the second half was just a bag full of nail-biting “why is this happening?” moments! A low strike from Noa Lang landed PSG in a pit of despair, and Luis Enrique looked like a parent whose kid just brought home a C in maths. Yet, in a plot twist worthy of Shakespeare, Hakimi clawed one back! A shot that should have been as harmless as a paper airplane managed to deceive the goalkeeper, sparking fleeting hope among the fans.
But alas! Hope is a cruel mistress. Twice the crowd thought they were witnessing a miracle—only for the brilliance of Walter Benitez, PSV’s keeper, to turn those dreams into dust. Talk about the worst kind of blue balls. The only real surprise here is that the Parc des Princes didn’t spontaneously combust with frustration. Even the referee was getting in on the action, offering a penalty like it was a party favor, only to snatch it away like a kid on Halloween regretting giving out the last Fun Size bar.
On the Horizon: A Big Rivalry
As if that was not enough, the grim specter of their next clash looms large—Marseille awaits! The fans are already on the edge of their seats, teetering between hope and utter despair. Can you imagine the fallout if they lose this one? Oh, it would be more damaging than a bad haircut in a job interview. Even with the reported confidence in Luis Enrique’s long-term vision, every bad result serves as a mosquito buzzing in the background—annoying and relentless.
So, what’s next for PSG? Will they rise like a phoenix from the ashes? Or will they continue their comedic rendition of football, slipping and sliding further down the table like a bunch of clowns on banana peels? Stay tuned!
Paris SG failed to beat PSV Eindhoven at the Parc des Princes (1-1) on Tuesday for the 3rd day of the Champions League and remains in the soft underbelly of the ranking, before two perilous meetings. Indeed, PSG will have to show another level when it faces Atlético de Madrid at home then Bayern in Munich, in November for the 4th and 5th days of the Big Ears Cup phase. For now, it remains stuck at four points (17th), far from the top 8 synonymous with direct qualification in the round of 16 at the end of the eight matches of this new format with a single ranking.
A clumsy youth
On Tuesday, the doubts born from the dry defeat at Arsenal (2-0) on October 1 were not dispelled. PSV Eindhoven, outclassed by Juventus Turin on the first day (3-1), did not theoretically offer formidable opposition, even if it dominated its championship. However, PSG stuttered its football several times during the 90 minutes. He has, in the purest tradition of this young team since the arrival of Luis Enrique in the summer of 2023, wasted several opportunities.
And this from the start, with Achraf Hakimi forgetting to hit after juggling in the area (2nd), Bradley Barcola not being precise on a shot for which he usually has the secret (11th); Ousmane Dembélé who sends his rebound at point blank range (19th); or Fabian Ruiz sluggish on a long shot that he hit much harder with Spain at the Euro in June (49th). Luis Enrique has long been annoyed by the poor positioning of Lee, placed at the forefront, or the missed restarts of Joao Neves who is usually skilled in the field.
The despair of the Park
He railed more than ever on the opening score against the course of play of the Dutch on a surgical low strike from Noa Lang (34th), after precisely one of these missed passes from the young Portuguese. Severe but not unfair: PSV, with its intense pressing, made it difficult to get the ball out and played shots well in front to worry the rearguard of the French club. After half-time, the Parisians came back motivated, their ears still red from the more than likely sermon from their intractable coach. And it was the tireless Achraf Hakimi who revived his people. He created the space alone to strike from afar and his shot, although centered, deceived a hitherto perfect Walter Benitez (55th).
The captain of the Moroccan selection could have been the hero of the evening but he narrowly missed two other shots, closer to the goal however, in the 81st and 89th minutes, arousing audible frustration from the public. Who also thundered in added time against the referee when he invalidated the penalty he had just whistled after watching the video, and shouted his despair during Benitez’s huge save on a powerful header from Marquinhos (90+6).
However, warned by the announcer before the match, the Parisian supporters did not sing, like last Saturday against Strasbourg, homophobic chants against the Marseillais, whom PSG will challenge at the Vélodrome on Sunday in Ligue 1. Tuesday evening’s draw against a second-rate team is already a stain, another disappointment against the big rival at the end of the week would be much more damaging for Luis Enrique. The Spaniard has been extended, according to several media, a sign that confidence is in principle required in the medium or even long term. Unless doubt already creeps in…
