Photo credit, Alassane Dia/BBC
Ramata Ba says he does not understand the failure of his matrimonial project.
Ramata Ba fell in love with a compatriot. But her desire to marry the suitor came up once morest the refusal of the future father-in-law, who did not want their marital union on the grounds that the young lady belongs to a caste.
“When he told me ‘no, I don’t want you’, I felt belittled, I felt like I was useless, that (…) I didn’t deserve to have a man like him (…) I was confronted with this caste situation. I wanted to marry a Senegalese. But when his father found out which family I came from, he felt that it was a problem insofar as we did not we are not of the same social rank”, she says.
“I’m not going to be put down by this kind of situation”
“His father believes that they (his son, himself and their family) belong to a certain nobility and high society, and that my family and I belong are of an inferior group. For them, the union was not possible, therefore. In his opinion, the fact of us getting married would make his son unhappy and dirty his family. It was a shame for them, “says the young lady.
Ramata Ba is all the more worried because, according to her testimony, she had never heard of this hierarchy in society. “My parents never told me regarding this (castes). Never having known this, I started to do research on the Internet, in books…”
Believing that she has come to a good understanding of social categories, which place each individual in a group, the young Senegalese publishes a video on YouTube in which she recounts the setback she suffered. because of his social class.
Photo credit, Alassane Dia/BBC
Ramata Ba had never heard of this hierarchy in society.
“What is a caste? It is (…) a social class in which people are placed according to their family name, their ancestors, etc. They are found in particular in Africa and India. In Senegal, we have the nobles, the slaves, the griots, the blacksmiths, etc. When you are among the nobles, you must not marry a slave or a griot. It is forbidden”, explains Ramata Ba.
Although the 30-something understands society’s hierarchy and society’s attachment to social belonging, she says she does not understand the failure of her matrimonial project. “I had a hard time with that. It’s a form of racism, a way of putting me down socially. It depressed me a bit.”
Pushing curiosity further, the young lady, a professional pastry chef, discovers that her parents do not belong to the same social rank, despite their union. “I even resented my parents. I resented my mother for marrying my father who was not noble. But I had no reason to resent them, even if I was frustrated by this situation,” she says.
“Traditions must contribute to well-being, otherwise they are useless”
Photo credit, Alassane Dia/BBC
“I’m happy to be out of this situation,” Ramata Ba says philosophically.
Her experience leads her to believe that she should no longer marry in her country, or even in Africa. “It was difficult. I no longer wanted to talk regarding marriage with Africans, because I no longer wanted to relive this situation which hurt me. I leaned towards the Europeans, telling myself that with them there will be no not this caste thing.”
But Ramata Ba is trying to heal his mental, even psychological wound. “Now it’s a little better. I decided to go ahead and not let myself go. We’ll see what happens. To get out of all this, I started doing sports, going to see those who helped me a lot and pulled me out of this situation. Cooking being my passion, I locked myself at home making a lot of birthday cakes that I sell (…) helped a lot to overcome this situation”, she rejoices.
“Today, I’m smiling. I told myself that I’m not going to let this kind of situation get me down. I told myself that I’m a strong, beautiful, intelligent and ambitious woman. I want to take life as she is”, comforts Ramata Ba.
She relies on God, to better recover from the failure of her marriage. “It is God who gives, we say. If God does not make him my husband, it is because he is perhaps not the best for me. Religion has helped me a lot too. I am very happy in my life. Everything is fine (…) I am happy to be out of this situation”, she says philosophically.
Ramata Ba says she spoke publicly regarding her experience on YouTube “to help change mindsets”. “We are all the same (…) We all have the same blood. My message to young people is to tell them to (…) choose the right person. Traditions are important, but they must contribute to well-being. Otherwise , it is useless”, she teaches.