There is always a fine line between wishing the best for your child, and inadvertently pushing him in the wrong direction and destroying his mental health, so what mistakes should be avoided?
Parenting is one of the most physically and emotionally demanding jobs in the world, as it involves more than just providing a roof over a child’s head and food in their stomach.
During the various stages of upbringing, parents try to raise a child who is brave, independent, kind, hardworking and humane. And while there are many things they get right, there are also some things that can do more harm than good.
The main reason for this is that they are often ignorant of the psychological harm they are inflicting on their children, and they believe that everything is developing for the better, when in fact they are harming the minds of their children.
The biggest mistakes that destroy children’s mental health
Experts say that for children to grow into successful, empathetic humans they must feel heard and valued, as research has found that youngsters can begin to show signs of empathy by the age of three.
And hindustantimes quoted psychologist and president of the Anannke Foundation, Dr. Malini Saba, 5 wrong ways that may contribute to the deterioration of your child’s mental health:
1- Comparing your child with others
One of the most emotionally harmful acts of parenting, comparing a child with other children, is the main cause of many psychological disorders in children, including:
– inferiority complex
The child’s strong realization that he will not be good enough
– Lack of self-confidence
– Low self-esteem
Lack of self-love.
Parents should realize that every child’s mind and body is different, and comparing your child to others will only lead to psychological and emotional problems.
2- Ignoring your child’s emotional needs
Ignoring your child’s emotional needs is a type of abandonment in which a parent intentionally creates a number of personality defects that are harmful to children mentally and emotionally.
Abandonment and ignorance do not usually include physical absence; The child may feel unwanted and neglected through simple gestures.
And when a child is hurt, even by a small thing, it is essential that the parents console and hug the child if he is not feeling well, celebrate his small victories, stand up for him and most importantly be there for the child.
When children need you and you don’t respond or if you don’t meet your child’s emotional needs they will eventually turn to other sources of support, which may or may not be better for them in the long run.
3- Using guilt to get what you want
Parents can inadvertently send their children on a journey of guilt to get something done for them, in an attempt to induce feelings of remorse or shame.
Sometimes they even use emotional blackmail to induce guilt, such as “Go out and enjoy yourself and don’t worry about me,” accusing them of “not helping at home,” “Not being considerate of what parents might need,” or “I don’t care about my health because I’m too busy taking care of your needs.” .
Their actions are meant to provoke guilt, and when a parent instills guilt in a child, the effects can be catastrophic and long-lasting, including:
Loss of self-confidence
Difficulty believing that they can do anything right
The development of self-doubt and low self-esteem.
The healthiest way to handle this situation is for parents to have a healthy dialogue and explain their desires or expectations without condemning or blaming their child, which is a better way to handle the situation.
4- Demanding perfection
Children should be taught to reach for the stars but that should be an option, not a requirement. And in order for the child to become perfect and superior in everything, he constantly strives and works hard to achieve more and more.
This vicious cycle never ends and leaves the child with a deep sense of dissatisfaction and failure, and as a result mental health concerns such as sadness, stress and anxiety develop.
As a parent, you must acknowledge that it is acceptable for your child not to always be flawless, not to get the highest grades, not to win awards, and not to succeed in every endeavor.
5- Overprotection
Keeping your child in a safe bubble eliminates a lot of anxiety but protecting him from obstacles hinders his development, so see yourself as a guide, not a guardian.
Allow your children to experience life even when it can be scary to let go. This opportunity gives them the opportunity to develop confidence in their ability to handle whatever life throws at them.