* This article mentions the content of the drama “Koi Senu Futari”. Please note.
Not a romance, not a friend.A story that seeks an unnamed relationship
“Why don’t you become a family with me without feelings of love?”
Sakiko, who has never liked people, doesn’t know why she kisses, and is confused because she doesn’t understand romance or sex, and Takahashi, who doesn’t want to have romance or sex. The drama “Koi Senu Futari” (NHK, Yorudora), which the two of them unfold, has reached its final episode on March 21st.
The two, who started living together for some reason, have faced their own way and relationships with each other, involving their parents, colleagues, ex-girlfriends, and best friends. In the final episode, the two “family” that they found through various conflicts is the way they should be.
I was involved in “Futari no Koisen” as a member of the Aromantic Asexual Examination from the standpoint of the parties concerned.
Yukino Kishii and Issei Takahashi played the main characters Sakiko and Takahashi.
What is Aromantic Asexual?
“What kind of relationship do you have with that person?”
That’s a question I’ve been asked a lot. I was always wondering how to answer this question.
Around me, there are several important people who are neither romantic nor sexual, who are family members, partners, comrades, or who do not know what to express. But there is no word to describe the relationship.
“Aromantic sexual” that I, Sakiko, and Takahashi admit. This word is defined as follows (I hope you can think of it as one of many definitions).
・ Aromantic is one of the romantic orientations and does not have romantic feelings for others.
・ Asexual is one of the sexual orientations and should not be sexually attracted to others.
These originally exist as separate and independent concepts, and those who are not attracted to others in either respect are called “aromantic sexual”. Some people call it “Aroma Asek” for short.
By the way, aromantic means “not romantic” with the prefix “A” to counteract “romantic”. “Asexual” is similar.
“Futari no Koisen” is a story in which two romantic and sexual people meet, face themselves, and think regarding their relationship. And while saying “two people,” I think it’s a big highlight that the characters around them, who didn’t understand their sexuality at first, gradually changed.
The highlight is the changes in the surrounding people, such as Sakiko’s younger sister played by Kana Kita.
Efforts to maintain a relationship are born because you can always leave without being bound by a “contract”
There are many people who are romantic and sexual, and those who are not, who say “one person is fun”, “wants to live alone”, and “does not want a deep relationship with a partner or someone”. You will be here.
Therefore, in my case, I often wondered how to express the feeling that “it is not love or sexuality. It is different from friendship, but I cherish it.” I’m really grateful to be connected to those people, and because I’m an integral part of my life, I often find it frustrating to have no “words” to describe relationships.
One hint was Sakiko’s words in the final episode.
“Isn’t it okay if I don’t decide anything? Family and us are all (provisional)”
I felt that this word made my heart lighter.
From the beginning of living together, the two have been looking for a “family” shape that suits them well and a “non-smoky” way of life as a “family (provisional)”. It is Sakiko’s words above that came to the conclusion that “it is okay to leave it as it is” for such a relationship and the way each of them should be.
You don’t have to feel frustrated or guilty regarding not having a name. You can add “(provisional)” to a similar name, or you don’t have to give it a name from the beginning. I felt like he said that.
“Futari who can’t fall in love”
However, I imagined that there were various conflicts before Sakiko came to this conclusion.
I used to be afraid to be “(provisional)”. I’ve been told by people around me that “not having a specific lover / family relationship means that you may be separated.” I was pessimistic that I mightn’t find a “specific person”, no matter what I did if I suddenly left.
But later, that’s why I wanted to trust him. People who are close to me, even if I’m not tied to my name, will surely notice and reach out when I’m regarding to be tied up with something different. Because we don’t have a name, we can make an effort to compromise as long as we both want to continue our relationship with this person on the premise that we can always be separated from each other.
With that in mind, I came to think that there is no such thing as “stable because there is a name” or “unstable because there is no name”.
Sakiko and Takahashi also strictly share housework in their communal life.
I’m sure everyone lives with emotions that can and cannot be named.
That said, I’m not going to conclude that it’s better not to have a name. I’m sure everyone lives with emotions that have names and emotions that don’t.
Looking at someone who has a relationship with a name of “lover relationship” can sometimes make me uneasy regarding having a relationship without a name. However, there are also myself who want to cherish the relationship more because they do not have a name.
Sometimes I get a sense of security when I get the sexuality of “Aroma Asek” as a label, and sometimes I feel cramped with that label and want to return to myself without a name.
Because I have a name, I have people and places that I can reach, and I can accept myself. I also have the comfort of being able to take good care of myself because I don’t have a name.
I think I got a hint from Sakiko’s awareness that I am myself because I don’t have a name, and I am myself because I have a name.
“Futari who can’t fall in love”
How did you get involved in the work as a drama “examination team”?
This time, a team consisting of me, a person who is familiar with the aroma and Asek community, and a person who is doing research, participated in the drama examination. Of course, the final decision-making authority rests with the broadcasting station, but on top of that, he supervised the definition of “aromantic sexual”, gave advice on the script and settings, and witnessed the site.
“I feel like I’ve been affirmed so far.”
“I’m glad you dealt with this theme.”
Thankfully, I saw many of these voices on official bulletin boards and SNS during and following the drama.
Looking at these opinions and impressions, when I was 17 years old, I saw a bulletin board where people with aroma and asek gathered, and I remembered that I was very relieved to say, “There are people who are close to me!” I did. I had many discussions with the directors, thinking regarding “whether the content is sympathetic,” “how can I draw the diversity of aromas and aseks,” and “whether there are expressions that hurt someone.” I was happy that was not in vain.
In addition to that, “I’m not a party, but I felt that there was something close to me,” “I was able to look back on my own words and actions,” and “There are people who have similar feelings to me, but Imagine my feelings through the drama. I was personally happy to feel that I was able to have a dialogue with people other than those who normally do not exchange opinions, such as “I was able to do it.”
Difficulty in creating “back setting”.There are various individual differences even with the same sexuality
In fact, when making this drama, when the people involved, mainly the director, tried to learn more regarding aroma and asek, the recognition of the proof team and the recognition of the script and the director may pass each other. There were many.
For example, in the 4th episode, there was a scene where Sakiko stopped talking regarding love and sexuality with Sakiko’s ex-boyfriend Kazu-kun to Takahashi. At first, it was a nuanced line such as “Stop saying rude things (romance / sexually unscrupulous stories)”, but Sakiko talks because it is a character with the setting “I do not understand romance / sexuality”. It is hard to think of Sakiko’s behavior as being careful regarding what is happening, so I asked if she might adjust it to a nuance such as “(I can’t read the situation) Mr. Takahashi seems to be in trouble, so stop.”
In addition to the above scenes, there are surprisingly many “words that do not appear unless you know romance / sexuality”, and the line that judges “romance / sexuality” and how Sakiko / Takahashi behaves in that case. I remember having a lot of trouble trying to match my perception with the script and the director.
In addition to that, we made adjustments in various ways, such as what each character dislikes and how to keep a distance from people. For this reason, Sakiko responds to regarding 50 questions from various perspectives, such as “Do you ever want to monopolize someone?” “Do you understand the characteristics of people who are generally considered to be sexually attractive?” I considered how to answer with Takahashi and decided the setting of the back in detail.
To be honest, it was quite a difficult task (laughs), but I think that the choice of such trivial words will determine whether or not you are drawing sincerely, so I feel that it was good to have a detailed consultation.
Do not draw only with fragmentary knowledge and images.The importance of having a proof in the drama production site
If it weren’t for these discussions and adjustments, it might have hurt the parties or led to the creation of stereotypes with no depiction of diversity within the same sexuality. That is why I felt that it was very meaningful to have a proof in such a production place.
Of course, this expression is still not enough, but when someone tries to know or draw someone’s point of view, he or she does not interpret it only with fragmentary knowledge or imagined images, but actually that person. While listening to their voices, it seemed that having someone to bridge the production might be one of the resolutions of “not exploiting.”
Regarding various creations such as dramas and movies, another aromantic sexual party said, “Although more people are alive in society, what is drawn in the content is a healthy person and a cis hetero. I’ve heard stories such as “It feels like it’s different from the reality.” I remember being very convinced. A combination of “cisgender” and “heterosexual” meaning heterosexual).
I hope that people who are considered to be a minority in society, not limited to romantic and asexual, will be drawn naturally in various works without any particular mention.
In episode 5, there was a scene where Sakiko was told by her best friend Chizuru that she loved her romance.
So that you can give yourself a “name” that suits you best
Finally, I would like to introduce another memorable line from Sakiko. In episode 6, the following response to Takahashi, who said that her current job was “not the best, but better”.
“Then, why don’t we aim for the best possible?”
“What you want to do and what you want to do is in the spirit of taking everything”
Even in the final episode, the line “Best, not better” came out. While I think it’s a very nice line, I also felt that there were many opportunities to “can’t make my own choice” when I was alive, due to real problems.
I myself was depressed regarding sexuality when I was 17, and dropped out of school, but I didn’t have the choice, and maybe I didn’t have the consciousness of “choosing myself”, and I thought the past was “better”. not.
However, even if it’s not the best or better, I’m sorry for myself and the people around me to decide that my way of life from the past to the present is “not good”. I don’t want to evaluate it in the first place.
“Futari who can’t fall in love”
That’s why I thought that I shouldn’t have to be obsessed with the evaluation of best or better. I wonder if it’s okay to take it easy, saying, “This way of life is (tentative) for the time being, and I don’t know what will happen in the future.”
In a society where you cannot always choose your own path, let me choose at least what kind of name you should give to your own way and the relationships you create, or whether you should give it a name in the first place.
As a party and a member of the proof-of-concept team, I hope that this drama will help you make that choice as much as possible.
- Work information
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NHK’s Dora “Futari in Love”
Broadcast started on January 10, 2022 (8 times in total)
- profile
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- Nakaken
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In addition to being involved in youth support, he also engages in activities to convey diversity through government, schools, and the media. A member of “As Loop” who focuses on research, supervision, and lectures on “Aromantic / Asexual Spectrum”.
