Baby’s independent sleep: what is it, how to set it up?

2024-01-12 10:47:47

What is independent sleep?

In fact, the child’s sleep is always autonomous because it is he who decides when he falls asleep. But, “autonomous sleep is the child’s ability to go to sleep peacefully and confidently in bed, without needing assistance”, explains Caroline Decré, child sleep specialist. Indeed, as Juliette Moudoulaud, sleep consultant, adds, “Autonomous sleep means being able to put your baby in his bed, completely awake and for him to fall asleep on his own. »

When to start independent sleep?

“Be careful,” warns Caroline Decré, “parents should not stress regarding learning to sleep independently. »

Indeed, on this current subject, we can read (unfortunately) a lot of injunctions: according to which independent falling asleep must work from maternity or before the age of 3 to 4 months… “It depends on the temperaments of each baby, but independent sleep can be achieved around 3 – 4 months for quiet temperaments, while others will need contact and rocking for longer,” explains Juliette Moudoulaud.

“There can also be blockages that prevent the establishment of independent sleep, such as a stressful pregnancy, a complicated birthan infant who suffers from gastroesophageal reflux and needs verticality…”, explains Caroline Decré. What to do ? Trying to understand why the baby has difficulty moving towards independent, peaceful sleep? Why does he need to be rocked? Is it to soothe pain or anxiety in the child, or even in the parents? The support of a child sleep specialist can then be useful.

The independent sleep strategy

Above all, it is necessary create a conducive environment to the establishment of independent sleep. Here is what Juliette Moudoulaud recommends:

1. Respect the baby’s rhythm during the day : “the number of naps and their length vary during the first two years: from 4 to 5 naps in infants to only 1 nap between the ages of 13 – 14 months and 18 monthsexplains Juliette Moudoulaud. And it is not by preventing baby from sleeping during the day or waking him up from his nap that he will sleep better at night! »

2. Provide a conducive sleep environment by reducing stimulation at bedtime, by making baby sleep in complete darkness to promote melatonin production. “The latter starts between the age of 6 weeks and 3 to 4 months”specifies Juliette Moudoulaud.

The choice of bed is also important: in the first months, prefer a cradle, a bassinet, a co-sleeper or the stroller carrycot provided that it is suitable (check with the manufacturer), so that the little one does not feel lost in a bed with bars. “And if you can’t do anything other than put him in a cot, do not put a baby wedge or cot bumper there because of the risk of suffocation,” warns Juliette Moudoulaud.

3. Do not cover baby too much : for the night, in a room heated to between 18 and 20°C, he just needs to wear a bodysuit, pajamas and lie down in his sleeping bag.

4. Check the humidity level : ideally, the latter should be 50%. “In winter, you can place a bowl of water on the radiator”suggests Juliette Moudoulaud.

5. Live normally : the toddler must get used to the noises of the house, so there is no need to whisper, postpone the dishes until later…

This preliminary preparation allows the little one to be put in the best possible position so that he feels secure, his body temperature drops, his melatonin production starts and, thus, the learning of independent sleep takes place at the same time. better.

How to teach your baby to fall asleep alone?

“Above all, parents must be reminded not to put pressure on themselves regarding independent sleep, reassures Caroline Decré. The baby knows how to sleep, you just have to give him time to adapt. Parents must also be given time to experiment, observe and experiment to get to know their child well. »

Learning to sleep independently

Sleep specialists do not all have the same recommendations.

1. Before the age of 3 to 4 months, some advise varying the methods of falling asleep: letting the little one fall asleep in the arms of mom, dad, on the breast, with a bottle, in his stroller, etc. “This diversity of modes of falling asleep prevents the infant from being conditioned by a single method and from panicking if, one day, the mode of falling asleep changes”, explains Caroline Decré. Others, on the contrary, prefer to establish the same bedtime ritual every day: a bath or a quick wash, a diaper change, a little song or a little story… «

This ritual can last between 15 minutes and 30 minutes, suggests Juliette Moudoulaud. But be careful of the overly long ritual which lasts an hour or more! »

It is therefore up to parents to test what suits their child best.

2. Avoid over-intervention : the toddler may have restless sleep, grunts while sleeping, this is normal, he is either asleep or he will go back to sleep on his own. Hanging him in your arms, trying to feed him as soon as he moves a little is not a good idea. “This parental hypervigilance can interrupt the sleep maturation process, warns Caroline Decré. You should not rush and rather observe it before acting. »

3. After the age of 3 to 4 months, separate feeding from sleeping time : the infant’s waking time increases: he wakes up, he eats, he plays, then he sleeps. It is best to prevent him from falling asleep at the breast or just following the bottle, “he will combine this food + sleep ritual, otherwise”warns Carole Decré.

4. Listen to your needs as parents : There is no universal rule regarding the implementation of independent sleep. The latter should be done when the parents and the baby feel ready. It can be from birth or later! And nothing prevents a mother from letting her baby fall asleep at her breast, if she likes it.

At what age does baby fall asleep alone?

Every baby is different and there is no rule regarding a specific age when the infant must fall asleep alone. This can be done between the ages of 3 and 6 months, but also later for some babies.

Helping baby fall asleep alone

Autonomous falling asleep must be adopted gradually. This should not be done in a brutal or rigid manner. To promote independent falling asleep, Juliette Moudoulaud advises: “if baby falls asleep at the breast, then put him to sleep in the arms of the co-parent who will rock him. Then, we can put him in his bed when he is sleepy and then, as he gets older, simply stay next to him to make him a hug, rock him and, if necessary, take him back in your arms if necessary. »

“And if support for independent sleep does not work, you should not hesitate to get help,” advises Caroline Decré. Yes, but when? “When parents feel the need, which is very personal, continues the child sleep specialist. Maybe following a few days, or a few months. It is also when parents feel that fatigue is gaining on them. You should not wait for exhaustion. »

Independent sleep 2 years

As has already been said, there is no universal rule when it comes to independent sleep. “A child of 3 to 4 years old may still need his parents to fall asleep, this is not abnormal, reassures Juliette Moudoulaud. If this does not disrupt the family balance, if the child is rested, then everything is fine. »

How to avoid waking up at night?

The toddler needs guidance. “From the age of around 4 months, you need to set up days that are similar, advocates Caroline Decré, if they are too different from one day to the next, this can cause the toddler to wake up at night. »

” Effectively, completes Juliette Moudoulaud, toddlers do not appreciate irregular rhythms, bedtime must be the same from one day to the next within 30 minutes without exceeding an hour. From 3 – 4 months, bedtime should be between 7 p.m. and 8 p.m. »

When a baby has difficulty sleeping, parents tend to try all the advice given by those around them and change methods every 3 or 4 days to see which one will work. “This inconsistency is harmful to independent sleep learning.warns Juliette Moudoulaud. You must remain consistent in the chosen method. »

Another mistake that parents can make: absolutely wanting to introduce solid foods or flour in the evening to prevent their little one from waking up at night. “Overall, this is not the solution, believes Juliette Moudoulaud. When there are 4 or 5 nocturnal awakenings per night the problem lies elsewhere. »

How to get baby to sleep without a pacifier?

“The pacifier is too often demonizedbelieves Caroline Decré. However, this is a parental choice, but also a need of the infant. » Moreover, some pregnant women, during the ultrasound, see their baby already sucking his thumb! “The first year of life, the baby is in the oral phase, sucking reassures him enormously”specifies Caroline Decré.

You can, however, not get him used to having a pacifier in his mouth all day! “ Around the age of 3 to 4 months, you can let him find his hands and bring them to his mouth, suggests Caroline Decré. At the same time, it is important to know that if something that is important to him is taken away from the toddler, he will find another solution to replace it: his thumb or a cuddly toy instead of the pacifier. »

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