At 58, I have the spine of an 80-year-old. Navigating osteoporosis has been difficult and expensive | Well actually

At 58, I have the spine of an 80-year-old. Navigating osteoporosis has been difficult and expensive | Well actually

Well, well, well! It seems that life has a sense of humour and a rather twisted one at that. On June 16, 2023, our brave author decided to get a Dexa scan at the relatively sprightly age of 57 — a decision akin to asking, “Hey, when’s the last time I sent my bones to the retirement home?” Three hours later, a rogue driver thought, “Why not play bumper cars with this person?” resulting in a wrist shattered in three places. I mean, if this isn’t the universe’s way of saying, “You thought your bones were fragile? Hold my beer!” I don’t know what is!

Now, for those not in the know, a Dexa scan measures bone density, which—believe it or not—is not something we associate with the wisdom of experience. Apparently, in the land of medical recommendations, the Center for Disease Control feels 65 and up is the magic number for this bone-ography. But Joanna Strober over at Midi Health was waving red flags like she’s at a football match, urging our author to get that scan before her bones went full-on Swiss cheese!

And what were the results, you ask? Full-blown osteoporosis! Just when she thought she was in fine form, zooming around on her bike, practicing yoga, and doing her 10,000 steps like a champion. Suddenly, her bones had a T-score resembling that of an 80-year-old woman. Ouch! That’s sort of like finding out the fit, young athlete in your life is secretly a 90-year-old man in a tracksuit!

So, let’s talk osteoporosis: the silent killer of strong bone density! And it’s not just old women who get it; plenty of men and younger women can too. But the percentages? Think of it as a bad lottery ticket nobody wants to win. A 50-year-old woman has a measly 14% chance of having osteoporosis, while by age 80, your chances soar to 70%. Welcome to the lottery of life where the prize is brittle bones!

Still, it seems there’s a bit of a conspiracy afoot in the medical community. Despite our author’s seemingly perfect healthy lifestyle, her bones were auditioning for a role in “The Human Skeletor” movie. After discovering several risk factors that would make even the most optimistic optimist cringe—small frame, family history, and low vitamin D—the medical maze began.

Spoiler alert: navigating the healthcare system is more challenging than attempting to dodge a speeding car while on a bicycle! Our author tried to get appointments, literally jumping through hoops. Six months to wait for an endocrinologist? Unless you’re practically falling apart at the seams (which she was), apparently, the Universe has no sympathy.

When she finally meets with the experts, particularly Dr. Babak Larian, we get the golden nugget: it’s ridiculous we wait until 65 for a Dexa scan when menopause begins at the age of 50! Imagine waiting until your car is on fire before deciding to get insurance. But alas, here we are!

As it turns out, our hero wasn’t just dealing with osteoporosis; she was also dealing with secondary hyperparathyroidism due, you guessed it, to a lack of vitamin D! So, it’s practically double trouble—like being told you have a broken wrist and your car’s a complete write-off, but hey, at least you still have your wits about you… or do you?

The healthcare tale continued with specialist after specialist, and as they peeled back layers of the medical onion, it became evident that treatment options were about as clear as mud. Estrogen was her golden ticket for osteoporosis prevention, but was it time for drugs? Decisions, decisions! It’s like being stuck on a roller coaster—do you hold on for dear life or throw your hands in the air and hope for the best?

Ultimately, with a possible magic hormone on the horizon called CCN3 — aka the Maternal Brain Hormone — our author has hope. This might be the shining light in our osteoporosis saga! But what do you do in the meantime? Get on a mini trampoline? Maybe not quite what we had in mind for a low-impact exercise. It’s like saying, “I’ll strengthen my bones with a pogo stick!”

Equipped with estrogen and her trusty vitamin D, she continues her journey with the ever-optimistic reminder, “Just don’t fall!” Folks, if only that could be our mantra. But until we all get to don armor and bounce around like gymnasts without fear, the advice remains sharp: take those Dexa scans seriously because, let’s face it, ignoring your bones is about as wise as wearing white after Labor Day – just ask the skeleton in the closet!

So, whether you’re strutting around like you own the world or dodging speeding cars, remember: life is a delicate balance of calcium, care, and a touch of comedy. After all, if you can’t laugh at yourself while searching for a specialist, you might just end up breaking something else—like your sense of humour!

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