Still from Anne is looking for friends (Photo: Anne van der Steen).Anne talking to her friends from the past (Photo: Anne van der Steen).Next
1/2 Still from Anne seeks friends (Photo: Anne van der Steen).
Little by little, Anne van der Steen (32) realized that she no longer had any friends. Lost sight of it over the years, perhaps taken for granted for too long. She bare her buttocks and made a film: Anne is looking for friends. It turns out to be an attraction for everyone who can feel alone together.
Anne is a theater maker and actress, born and raised in Eindhoven. She had friends there, she had friends at secondary vocational education and it was also a warm bath at drama school. “I have always been very spoiled with friends. I thought it would stay that way,” she says. “It couldn’t be better, we laughed like crazy with each other and were super close. I thought that was very normal.”
But the test of time took its toll. You graduate, move again, start your own business and before you know it, you’re busy descaling your dishwasher on Friday evenings. “When you get older, you just don’t have the time anymore,” says the maker. “Whenever I made new friends somewhere, I neglected my other group. I thought: that’s just how it goes.”
“I found that painful and actually still sad.”
She was expelled from the group. “At least, that’s how I felt. They might think differently.” With a knot in her stomach, she looked at the photos on Instagram of her close circle of friends having fun without her. “I found that painful and actually still sad. It became an accumulation of moments when I wanted to do something fun, during carnival or King’s Day, but had no one to go with.”
In the meantime, the idea arose to make a film about friendship. Not about itself, but an ode to friendship as a phenomenon. “I kept bumping into my own sadness, but I didn’t dare to say that. Then I thought: I have to expose my buttocks. It was the elephant in the room.”
She climbed on the phone and called her old friends. “Why has our friendship deteriorated?” she asked them. “I had been asking that question for years, but I should have asked it much sooner. The answer was honest, I think because we felt that the friendship was already closed. I had moved on and they had moved on without me.”
“I was afraid it would be my fault, but through the film I discovered that many more people struggle with this. It’s not just me, that makes the need greater. And if you dare to be vulnerable, you can also tell something about someone else.”
“It is precisely such a theme in our society: people who feel lonely.”
Meanwhile, Anne’s inbox is exploding. Messages from people who have seen her film, recognize themselves in it and are impressed. “It is precisely such a theme in our society: people who feel lonely.” With a lot of contact by telephone, a performance company and people who no longer know their neighbors. “These times are focused on the individual. And sometimes we all go too far.”
Anne hopes to make others feel that they are not alone and that it pays to bare your buttocks. “Yes, God, it is just the way it is. And when you hear that others are also starting to talk to their friends because of this, how cool is that.”
Anne is looking for friends, Anne’s film together with Nozem Films and KRO-NCRV, is too view on 2Doc.
Anne van der Steen: A Journey of Rediscovering Friendship
By a brilliantly cheeky synthesis of observation and humor, we dive into Anne’s poignant journey.
Lost in the Crowd
Ah, the perils of adulthood. One minute, you’re having the absolute time of your life in drama school, surrounded by chums who would gladly take a bullet for you – or at least share an awkward group selfie – and the next, you’re staring into the cold, unfeeling abyss of your dishwasher manual on a Friday night. Spoiler alert: This is when your friendship starts to go the way of the dodo.
Anne van der Steen, a theater maker and actress from Eindhoven, embarked on a brave journey to explore just how she went from a social butterfly to the lonely caterpillar of her own life narrative, all while quite literally baring her buttocks for the cameras. Yes, you read that right. If you’re going to dive into the subject of friendship and loneliness, why not do it with some cheek? And I’m not talking about her personality.
From Friendship to Fizzle
In her new film ‘Anne is Looking for Friends’, we find that Anne once thrived in the warm embrace of camaraderie, reveling in the joys of friendship over shared laughter and questionable life choices. But as life tends to do, things changed. Careers launched, people moved, and suddenly, descaling the dishwasher became an Olympic sport on par with… well, anything. It’s either that or finding friends. And let’s face it, when you’re older, the toothpaste runs out faster than your social calendar fills up.
“Whenever I made new friends somewhere, I neglected my other group. I thought: that’s just how it goes.”
Hi-five to all the introverts out there — it’s like a game of musical chairs, but everyone in your circle decided to sit down and leave you standing awkwardly in the middle of the room. Social media didn’t help either, with Anne scrolling through her old friends’ pictures like a somber detective in search of clues to understand her own loneliness.
Unearthing Truths
But fear not! Anne wasn’t down for the count. Instead, she picked up the phone, braving the social abyss to check in on her former friends. Why had they drifted apart? “Why has our friendship deteriorated?” she asked, probably biting down on her nails while hoping for a reply that didn’t involve a bus ticket out of town.
“I was afraid it would be my fault, but through the film I discovered that many more people struggle with this.”
The reply was heartbreaking yet freeing. They had all moved on — without her! And oh, the plot thickens. Anne discovered the truth many of us fear: friendships evolve, often like soufflés. One minute they’re rising beautifully, the next, they’re flat and on the floor. But it’s a common plight, one that sings a dolorous tune in the modern age of solitude.
An Ode to Vulnerability
What can we take away from Anne’s poignant documentary? It’s a call to arms, folks, or perhaps a call to friendship. “Dare to be vulnerable,” she says, which, let’s be honest, sounds easy until you try it. Forget wearing your heart on your sleeve — this is about flinging open the door to your emotional innards, buttocks included!
Anne’s film isn’t just a personal story; it taps into a powerful theme in our society: loneliness. With phones buzzing and screens flashing, an ironic twist of fate proclaimed that we’re more connected than ever, yet – surprise! – many feel utterly alone.
The Power of Connection
Now, Anne’s inbox is on fire with folks reaching out, sharing how her film resonated with their own experiences. The symptoms are the same: people feeling invisible in a hyper-connected world. “It is precisely such a theme in our society: people who feel lonely,” she reflects, hitting the nail on the head harder than a carpenter on caffeine.
In her ideal world, Anne hopes her journey helps others reconnect, proving it’s never too late to reach out, even if it means baring your buttocks. Because really, what’s a little vulnerability amid the laughter and tears of friendship?
(Photo: Anne van der Steen)
Little by little, 32-year-old Anne van der Steen began to realize that her social circle had shrunk significantly. Reflecting on her past, she acknowledged the friendships that had faded over the years, often taken for granted or simply overlooked as life got busy. In an audacious move, she decided to expose vulnerable aspects of herself and created a film titled *Anne is Looking for Friends*, which turns out to resonate deeply with those who have experienced loneliness.
Hailing from Eindhoven, Anne has always been passionate about the arts, pursuing a career as a theater maker and actress. Her formative years were filled with friendships, whether in her hometown or while studying at a drama school, where camaraderie blossomed. “I have always been very spoiled with friends. I thought it would stay that way,” she recalls, reminiscing about the joy and laughter shared with her close-knit friends. However, as adulthood set in and life took its course, she found herself drifting away from those connections.
“When you get older, you just don’t have the time anymore,” admits Anne, reflecting on how new responsibilities often mean sacrificing existing relationships. As she forged new friendships in different stages of her life, her original circle began to weaken, leading her to believe that this was simply a natural aspect of growing up.
“I found that painful and actually still sad.”
Feeling abandoned by her once-close friends, Anne’s heart ached as she observed social gatherings happening without her presence via social media. “It became an accumulation of moments when I wanted to do something fun but had no one to go with.” This sense of isolation stirred a creative impulse within her to capture the essence of friendship in a film.
Driven by a desire to address her own feelings of estrangement, Anne began reaching out to her old friends, seeking clarity on why their friendships had withered. “I had been asking that question for years, but I should have asked it much sooner.” She discovered through candid conversations that life had propelled them in different directions, often leaving those relationships in the past.
“I was afraid it would be my fault, but through the film I discovered that many more people struggle with this. It’s not just me, that makes the need greater.” Anne’s vulnerability in sharing her experiences sparked a wave of recognition among viewers, leading her to understand that friendship’s ephemeral nature is a universal struggle.
“It is precisely such a theme in our society: people who feel lonely.”
Following the release of her film, Anne’s inbox became inundated with messages from viewers who resonated with her story and felt a connection to her exploration of friendship. “These times are focused on the individual. And sometimes we all go too far.” The response underscored the growing loneliness many face in contemporary society, particularly as it relates to disconnecting from neighbors and friends.
Through her work, Anne strives to empower others by conveying the message that they are not alone and that vulnerability can foster reconnections. “And when you hear that others are also starting to talk to their friends because of this, how cool is that?” Her film is a beacon of hope for those finding themselves isolated in an increasingly individualistic world.
Anne is looking for friends, Anne’s film together with Nozem Films and KRO-NCRV, is available for viewing on 2Doc.
Depth to her own experience of loneliness, Anne’s film serves as both a personal exploration and a broader commentary on the nature of friendships in contemporary society. In *Anne is Looking for Friends*, she delves into her feelings of isolation while simultaneously reaching out to the friends she had lost touch with over the years. By documenting these conversations, she not only confronts her own vulnerabilities but also sheds light on the universal struggles of maintaining connections as life unfolds.
In a series of heartfelt exchanges, Anne discovers that she is not alone in her feelings of neglect and disconnection. Her friends also express similar sentiments, revealing that time and distance had altered their bonds, but not erased them completely. This realization is both comforting and poignant, highlighting the complexities of adult friendships that often go unspoken in today’s fast-paced world.
Anne’s creative process underscores the importance of vulnerability and honesty in forging genuine connections. Despite the awkwardness and discomfort that can accompany such openness, her journey emphasizes that stepping out of one’s comfort zone can lead to meaningful reconnections. As she walks the line between humor and heartache, the film captures the essence of what it means to be human—acknowledging our fears, strengths, and the vital need for belonging.
As viewers engage with Anne’s story, they are invited to reflect on their own relationships—past and present. The film encourages not just self-reflection but also action, reminiscent of that pivotal moment when we realize we miss someone enough to reach out. Whether it’s picking up the phone, sending a message, or even planning a meetup, *Anne is Looking for Friends* reinforces that taking the leap, no matter how daunting, is a crucial step toward rekindling those once cherished connections.
Anne van der Steen’s endeavor transcends mere documentary filmmaking; it emerges as a heartfelt anthem for those navigating the loneliness that can accompany adulthood. By embracing her journey with humor, authenticity, and a touch of cheekiness, she reminds us of the power of vulnerability and the lasting impact of human connection. So, let’s lift our proverbial barriers and, perhaps while baring a little more than just our souls, seek out the friendships that make life richer and more meaningful.
With Anne’s journey now shared with the world, we are all encouraged to reflect on our connections. Who can we reach out to today? Who might also be feeling a bit like a lonely caterpillar, yearning for the warmth of camaraderie? Anne’s story may just inspire us to take that bold step into building our own social gardens, one friendship at a time.
