Alcoholic, Victoria’s mother does not want to seek treatment: “Everyone knows, but no one is helping us”

Victoria’s mother suffers from alcoholism but refuses treatment. Determined to help her, Victoria finds herself in front of an obstacle which prevents her from supervising her: her mother does not want to be treated, because she is not aware of her addiction. What can Victoria do so that either mother is finally taken care of, she wonders via the orange Alert us button. The solutions are few.

Victoria’s mom is a lifelong alcoholic, “…well for as long as I can remember“, says the young woman. Her mother’s situation has had its ups and downs, but one aspect remains: “I realize everybody knows, but nobody’s helping us“, she confides to us, her voice trembling.

For all these years, Victoria has lived with her mother’s alcoholism: “It’s insidious. With each phone call, I wonder if she has been drinking, and I recognize it by her voice directly. At family events, we wonder if she will arrive sober or not“, she tells us.

Faced with the state of her mother, Victoria says to herself “destitute“, but wants to do everything to help him.”Despite the illness, she was a wonderful mother, that’s what gives me the strength to talk regarding it and to fight“, she confides to us, with tears in her eyes. However, finding real solutions seems difficult: “The conclusion of many is that there is nothing to be done. I then went to support meetings for alcoholics anonymous, but it’s the same, we listen, we discharge, but all these people are resigned“, laments Victoria.

If a person is in denial, or refuses to seek treatment, there is nothing to do

If her mother is not treated for her alcoholism, it is because of a rule followed by the medical profession and by associations, according to Victoria: “If a person is in denial, or refuses to seek treatment, there is nothing to do“, she was told. Her mother is indeed not, according to Victoria’s words, aware of her illness: “I really believe that she forgets these phases of life, that she erases these episodes“. Despite the doctor’s positive evidence that she had significant amounts of alcohol in her blood, her mother swears that “It is not possible“.

A futile stay in the hospital

Victoria believed that a turning point was happening during the summer: “She suddenly said, ‘I’m drinking. I drink hard liquor on the sly. I want to go to the hospital'”, she recalls. To be interned, Victoria’s mother had to pass several interviews: “A first with a nurse, followed by a second with a psychologist. He judged that my mother’s motivation was not enough and that she would go home“, regrets Victoria. Faced with the condition of her mother who is not improving, Victoria regrets the lack of supervision for alcoholics and denounces a taboo: “Alcoholism must be treated as a disease and there must be a course of action that we can follow.“.

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Legally, there is a procedure that makes it possible to compel a person to receive care. It is observation. It applies to people suffering from a mental illness, as explained by Eric Vermeulen, justice of the peace in the first canton of Schaerbeek: “A placement under observation is a measure of forced protection in relation to any person who is affected by a diagnosed mental pathology, who represents a danger for himself or for those around him.“. This last solution is only possible when there are no other solutions, for example when the person does not wish to seek treatment.

But alcoholism is not considered a mental illness. Any alcoholic person cannot therefore be put under observation: “The condition is that this person is at the same time suffering from a mental pathology“, clarifies judge Eric Vermeulen. It must be said that this solution is also “seriously infringing on the right of every citizen“, he adds.

We still have a way, for these people, to get around things

Faced with this, how can we help alcoholics who are in denial? For Doctor Thomas Orban, specialized in alcoholism, this remains possible. “There is often an associated psychiatric illness, or one that falls within the legal criteria: it is severe depression. Because alcohol is a depressant“, specifies the doctor. “We still have a way for these people to work around things. As long as the justice of the peace and a psychiatrist agree with it“, clarifies Thomas Orban.

For Dr. Romain Pallincourt, addiction psychiatrist at the psychiatric clinic of the Alexiens Brothers in Welkenraedt, wanting to treat oneself is necessary in the care. The majority of these patients joined the unit voluntarily, “because they requested it and all denial issues have been resolved previously“, he explains to us.

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According to the psychiatrist, this is an essential step: “It’s necessary, because addiction is being a slave to a product. You can’t release a person once morest their will, it doesn’t make sense“.

There are attending physicians, mental health centers and especially self-help groups

This clinic only intervenes during one of the last phases of the treatment of alcoholism: “There is a lot of ambulatory work to be done. There are attending physicians, mental health centers and especially self-help groups. These make it easier to integrate a support network, which is less guilt-inducing, and which can sometimes make it possible to overcome this notion of denial.“, specifies the psychiatrist.

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One thing is clear: freedom from alcoholism is a winding road. And to help a loved one get rid of it, it’s an obstacle course. The most common advice is to help the person become aware of their illness. According to Doctor Orban, more generally there is work to be done on our relationship to alcoholism: “We all have an interest in knowing more regarding this disease. There is far too much ignorance in society regarding the disease of alcohol. It is a disease of the brain, chronic, and that, our politicians ignore it, but our caregivers and our lawyers too“, he concludes.

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