Accused In NCP Leader’s Murder Not A Minor, Co-Conspirator Arrested

Bone Test Rules Out Baba Siddique Shooter’s Claim Of Being Minor

So, it turns out that a bone test is now the ultimate age verifier. Forget your birth certificate, folks; just get your bones checked! It’s like sending in your resume with a side of X-rays. I’m all for science, but these guys are treating it like a dating app: “Swipe right if you’re above 18!”

In a plot twist that even Shakespeare couldn’t write, Baba Siddique was shot dead outside his son’s office, and the only thing the shooters managed to shoot was their chances of a plea deal. I mean, when the Ogun of the underworld is involved, I suppose “He said, she said” doesn’t really apply, does it?

Top 10 Points of this ‘Murder Mystery’

1. Mumbai Police investigating the murder of veteran NCP leader Baba Siddique proved that accused Dharmaraj Kashyap is not a minor via a bone test. Yes, a bone test! It’s like an episode of CSI: Mumbai but without the flashy theme music.
2. Kashyap, resident of Uttar Pradesh, claims to be a minor. His lawyer must be either brilliant or just downright entertaining. “Your Honor, my client is young at heart!” But the bone test didn’t buy that kind of charm.
3. Mr. Siddique was shot dead outside a highly protected office. Maybe they should’ve installed “No Entry” signs that say “Danger: Underworld Activity Ahead!” Would have saved a lot of time!
4. The other two shooters—Gurmel Baljit Singh, age 23, and the elusive Shiv Kumar—were apparently training for the Olympics of Gangsterism. Their motto? “Always ready, never caught!”
5. Gurmel and co claim they work for Lawrence Bishnoi—a name that seems to pop up like some sinister version of Waldo. “Where’s Lawrence? Oh, just orchestrating hits from behind bars!” Sounds like a career for a budding criminal mastermind, doesn’t it?
6. You know it’s serious when the suspects are doing reconnaissance like it’s a high school prom. “I’ve counted how many times he goes to the loo! Time to strike!”
7. They supposedly got 50,000 rupees for the job. I’ve seen gigs that pay less, but at least they’re not all cake and balloons!
8. Maharashtra CM Eknath Shinde has assured us that the gang won’t get away. “We’ll catch that third guy soon!” How dramatic! It’s like a suspense film where the hero makes a promise as he dramatically flips coins in the air.
9. Pravin Lonkar was arrested, proving once again that crime doesn’t pay—unless you’re in it for the drama. “I’ll take ‘Co-Conspirators’ for 500, Alex!”
10. The conspiracy was set up by two brothers! Classic sibling rivalry gone horribly wrong. “Mum always liked you best, so I’ll help murder your buddy!” Family dinners must be super awkward now.

So, as we delve into the murky waters of Mumbai’s political underbelly, we’ve got to wonder: when is a bone test going to become the latest trend in dating? “I like long walks on the beach and bone ossification tests.” That’s the kind of romantic comedy I’d watch!

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