A Valentine’s Day in August

2023-08-01 08:13:00

It would be a kind of Jewish Valentine. And it begins tonight, when the first star rises on the fifteenth day of the Hebrew month of Av, called “Tu beAv”. It will be a full moon, like all 15 of this peculiar “lunisolar” calendar.

The practice, which is celebrated every August 1, is almost two thousand years old, and according to the Mishnah – the first compilation of the oral tradition of the Jewish people – “there were no more beautiful days for Israel than the 15th of Av and the Forgiveness Day. On that day the women of Jerusalem went out with borrowed white clothes, so as not to embarrass those who did not have them. And they danced in the vineyards. And what did they used to say? Young man, look up and see who you will choose for yourself, but do not rest your eyes on beauty, set your eyes on the family, for grace is deceitful and beauty is vain; the woman who honors God will be praised” (Proverbs 31:30).

That “Tinder” of ancestral format was the basis for celebrating this loving day, which is usually celebrated in Israel with open-air concerts.

Perhaps the most precious thing regarding such an old custom is the explicit recommendation of our wise men: “look up”. Isn’t that a perfect metaphor for love?

Looking up is not a question of an optical nature. It implies looking a little further (or quite a bit) than what is right now before our eyes. It is peeking above the superficial something of what remains. It is understanding love as a bridge to unite wholes, without separating bodies from souls. It is to observe in the other a reflection of the Other (like this, with a capital letter). It is to perceive –as the Mishnah asks– in the “family” and in the “honor to God” the deep content, the identity I would say, of the being to be loved.

It is fantastic to discover that even in the search method itself love is breathed: the white of the borrowed clothes ensured the momentary dissolution of all class differences, and protected those who might be most disadvantaged in that area. And the context of the dances gave the day the experience of full joy, one of the most necessary ingredients of love.

If any of you missed Valentine’s Day in February, here’s a good excuse for August.

In any case, there is no day that is not ideal for love.

* Rabbi. Member of Comipaz

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