Dealing with emotions: daring to feel

Dealing with emotions: daring to feel

The Hidden Cost of Bottling Up Emotions

In our culture, we often see vulnerability as a weakness. Phrases like “Cheer up,” “Be tough,” and “Don’t cry” send a subtle message: emotions should be suppressed. But psychologist Marissa van der sluis, author of “Real Connection,” argues this can have lasting negative impacts.

While pushing away painful feelings might seem helpful in the short term, it ultimately makes life more arduous. Van der Sluis explains, “Clear your mind and move on as quickly as possible? That works quite well in the short term. But in the long run,it actually makes your life harder. It ensures that you are not concerned with living, but with ‘surviving.'”

Think about trying to keep a beach ball underwater.It takes a lot of effort, and eventually, it pops back up. Our emotions work similarly. Ignoring them only postpones the inevitable. Research increasingly shows that chronically suppressing emotions can increase the risk of depression.

Bottling up our feelings creates a disconnect between our genuine selves and the persona we show the world. This disconnect breeds negativity. We experience more negative emotions, struggle to connect with others, and find it harder to face life’s challenges. this constant feeling of “inauthenticity” frequently enough leads to a less positive self-image compared to those who can freely express and manage their emotions.

The good news is that learning emotional literacy can transform our lives.Studies show that those who can embrace and process their emotions tend to have a more positive self-image, cope better with setbacks, and build stronger relationships.

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The Hidden Cost of Suppressing Emotions: A Conversation with Dr. Marissa van der Sluis

Dr. Marissa van der Sluis, author of the insightful book “Real Connection,” challenges a deeply ingrained societal belief: that suppressing emotions is a sign of strength.Instead,she argues,it’s a recipe for emotional distress and disconnection.

“The idea that expressing emotions is weakness is pervasive in our Western culture,” Dr. van der Sluis explains. “But suppressing emotions, in the long run, makes life harder. It’s like trying to keep a beach ball underwater—exhausting and ultimately futile.”

Many people believe that “clearing their mind” and swiftly moving on is the best way to cope with difficult emotions. While this may offer temporary relief, Dr. van der Sluis warns that it can be detrimental. “Pushing away or ignoring emotions prevents us from truly processing them,” she explains. “This can lead to a buildup of unaddressed emotions, manifesting in various negative ways, such as increased anxiety, depression, or even physical health issues.It keeps us stuck in survival mode, preventing us from experiencing life fully.”

Suppressing emotions,according to Dr. van der Sluis, creates a disconnect between our authentic selves and the persona we present to the world. “When we continually suppress our emotions, we’re essentially presenting a facade that isn’t truly reflective of who we are. This disconnect can breed negativity.We may experience more negative emotions, struggle to connect with others genuinely, and find it harder to cope with life’s challenges. It can also lead to a less positive self-image.”

Despite these challenges, Dr. van der Sluis offers a beacon of hope. “Learning emotional literacy can lead to a more fulfilling life. Understanding and expressing our emotions in healthy ways allows us to connect with ourselves and others on a deeper level,leading to greater authenticity,resilience,and overall well-being.”

unlocking Emotional Intelligence: A Guide to Understanding Your Feelings

Imagine a world where you effortlessly navigate your emotions, understand their impact on your actions, and build stronger connections with others. this isn’t a fantasy; it’s the power of emotional intelligence (EI).

Dr. van der Sluis, a leading expert in the field, emphasizes the importance of emotional literacy. “By embracing and processing our emotions,” she states, “we can cultivate a more positive self-image, cope better with setbacks, and build stronger, more authentic relationships.” This journey of self-discovery starts with understanding our feelings, and luckily, Dr. van der Sluis offers a simple yet profound roadmap to emotional awareness.

She suggests beginning by focusing on the physical sensations that emotions trigger in our bodies. This allows us to create a bridge between our emotions and our physical experience. Next,she encourages us to label what we feel,creating a space between ourselves and the emotion. This act of naming our emotions, she explains, helps us gain perspective and prevents impulsive reactions.

Dr. van der Sluis emphasizes the power of deep, mindful breathing. “Imagine breathing calmness into that feeling,” she advises. this simple practice can help soothe and regulate our emotional state. Ultimately, she advocates for accepting our emotions, allowing them to flow through us rather than resisting or suppressing them. This acceptance fosters a sense of openness and self-compassion.

Dr. van der Sluis’ guidance offers a framework for cultivating emotional intelligence, paving the way for greater self-awareness, resilience, and fulfilling relationships. It’s a testament to the transformative power of understanding and embracing our own inner world.

What are the long-term consequences of suppressing emotions?

The Hidden Cost of Emotional Suppression

Emotional suppression causes long-term harm

Emotional suppression can have severe consequences in the long run.

In many cultures, vulnerability is perceived as weakness, and expressions like “Cheer up,” “Be tough,” and “Don’t cry” subtly convey that emotions should be suppressed. Though, Dr.Marissa van der Sluis, author of “Real Connection,” challenges this notion, arguing that emotional suppression can have lasting negative impacts.

“The idea that expressiveness is weakness is deeply ingrained in our Western culture. But suppressing emotions, in the long run, makes life harder. It’s like trying to keep a beach ball underwater—it’s exhausting and ultimately futile.”

– Dr. Marissa van der Sluis

Why Suppressing Emotions is Ineffective

While pushing away painful feelings might seem helpful in the short term,it ultimately makes life more challenging. Dr. van der sluis explains that while “clear your mind and move on” might work temporarily, in the long run, it actually makes life harder.

Research increasingly shows that chronically suppressing emotions can increase the risk of mental health issues like depression. this is because our emotions, like a beach ball, will eventually pop back up and demand our attention.

Emotional Suppression: A Recipe for Disconnection

Bottling up emotions creates a disconnect between our genuine selves and the persona we project to the world. This disconnect breeds negativity,leading to:

  • Struggling to connect with others
  • Unexpected difficulties in facing life’s challenges
  • A less positive self-image compared to those who can freely express and manage their emotions

Emotional Literacy: The Path to Well-being

The good news is that learning emotional literacy can transform our lives. Studies show that:

  • They cope better with setbacks
  • They build stronger, more meaningful relationships

Dr. van der Sluis emphasizes the importance of creating safe spaces for emotional expression, especially among boys and men, to break the cycle of emotional suppression.

It’s time we rethink our approach to emotions and recognize the strength in vulnerability.

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