Right, enough about this "Alexander The Great" nonsense, eh? I mean, chipping the ball over Fabianski doesn’t exactly make you a Macedonian warlord, does it? It’s not like he conquered Persia with a cheeky nutmeg…though, having said that, I wouldn’t put it past him.
This Isak fella, he’s on fire, isn’t he? Four games straight he’s been banging them in for Newcastle. Bit of a bummer things didn’t go his (or Newcastle’s) way this time. But you know what they say: if you want to make God laugh, tell him your plans.
And those blokes did look a tad keen to get the celebration banners out. "Alexander The Great" they wrote. Bit presumptuous, wouldn’t you say? Especially when you consider Newcastle are currently playing somewhere around…well, mid-table.
The lads probably shouldn’t count their chickens before they hatch. I mean, I’ve seen more convincing games of Monopoly than this one. Newcastle’s "Alexander the Great" got called offside quicker than you can say "Deus ex Machina."
Soucek popped up to give West Ham the lead, and then Wan-Bissaka, bless his soul, butted the ball in off the post. Just like that, Newcastle’s dream of a great victory was dashed. Shame really. You’d think they’d learned their lesson after last year’s World Cup celebrations. Remember all that "It’s coming home" rubbish?
Look, if Isak keeps banging in the goals like he has been, then maybe, just maybe… they’ve got a chance. But for now, I’d say Eddie Howe should hold off on printing those "Champions League Winners" t-shirts. He may end up needing them for craft projects.
You know, I once went to a Newcastle game. It was…riveting. About as exciting as watching paint dry. Maybe Isak really is the Messiah, he just needs a slightly better supporting cast.
And that שם, my friends, is the truth. The brutally honest truth, no sugar-coating, just like I promised.
Was it a bit harsh? Maybe. Did it have a bit of a bite? Absolutely. Is it still better than listening toalan Shearer drone on about his goals? You bet your arse it is.