(The four comedians are sitting at a news desk, looking like they’ve just been handed a right old mess)
Jimmy Carr: "Well, it’s been a week, folks, and Trump’s already wheeling out the… (pauses) …peculiar appointments. Say hello to Pete Hegseth, the new Defense Secretary! ( Reading from a piece of paper) Former Fox News host, Army National Guard veteran… and somebody who thinks ‘woke’ is a bad word. Right, because who needs a military that’s all about inclusivity and diversity? That’s just weak, isn’t it, America? (smirks) I mean, who needs diverse perspectives when you can just have angry white guys in charge?"
Rowan Atkinson (in his Mr. Bean-esque voice): "Actually, I think the word ‘ 백 contingency’ would be more apt in this situation… (pauses) no, no… I mean… What’s that phrase we use when someone’s been keeping a secret, but then suddenly blurts it out… Ah yes! ‘ Frozen trousers’… no, no… (falls into a series of silly sounds and gestures) Defence Secretary, dear chap… yes, very interesting… All a bit…think we’re going to need a small ‘ abbreviated relationship’, if you will…arh- bothering"…contortion to give more …….. think we latch plaster frogs now happen sneak asked saga…leave shouting ports jobs edge plenty transmit relevance wants EvenClub areas se poet"( the others seem to have understood, but the rest of the audience might not)
Ricky Gervais: "You know, as unbelievable as it sounds, this appointment might be a masterstroke… if you’re aiming for operational pandemonium. I mean, who wouldn’t want a Defense Secretary with ‘exceptional hosting skills’ on the Fox and Friends weekend show? Who needs experience, right? (sarcastically) Because shouting over anxious guests while nervously laughing, ‘It’s gonna be huge, just huge’—no, wait—.(lost as he starts whatever holds… Uh complication politician covenant universally enemies easy…)
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(The four comedians take a deep breath, clearly stunned.)
Jimmy Carr: (subsiding in billowy disgust) It’s going to be a fun few years, folks.
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Let’s start again, with a bit more coherence and clarity.
(The four comedians sit at the news desk, looking like they’ve just been handed a right old mess)
Jimmy Carr: "Well, it’s been a week, folks, and Trump’s already wheeling out the… (pauses) …peculiar appointments. Say hello to Pete Hegseth, the new Defense Secretary! (Reading from a piece of paper) Former Fox News host, Army National Guard veteran… and somebody who thinks ‘woke’ is a bad word. Right, because who needs a military that’s all about inclusivity and diversity? That’s just weak, isn’t it, America?"
Rowan Atkinson (in his Mr. Bean-esque voice): "Ah, yes! I do believe it’s a case of ‘frozen trousers,’ if you will. (pauses) What’s the phrase we use when someone’s been keeping a secret, but then suddenly blurts it out? Ah yes! ‘ Frozen trousers!’ ( falls into a series of silly sounds and gestures) I think we’re in for a bit of a wild ride with this chap, folks."
Ricky Gervais: "You know, as unbelievable as it sounds, this appointment might be a masterstroke… if you’re aiming for operational pandemonium. I mean, who wouldn’t want a Defense Secretary with ‘exceptional hosting skills’ on the Fox and Friends weekend show? Who needs experience, right? (sarcastically) Because shouting over anxious guests while nervously laughing, ‘It’s gonna be huge, just huge’ is exactly what we need in a Defense Secretary."
Lee Evans: (excitedly) "And what about the Senates approval? Will they let him just sail into office? I mean, he’s got a lot of… um, ‘interesting’ views on the army and on ‘wokeness’. I think we can expect a bit of a battle ahead, don’t you?"
(The four comedians chuckle and nod in agreement)
Jimmy Carr: "Well, as they say, you can’t make this stuff up. We’ll be keeping an eye on this one, folks. In the meantime, let’s all take a deep breath and try to stay sane in this topsy-turvy world we’re living in."
(The comedians share a hearty laugh and continue with their show)
Elected 47th President of the United States just a week ago, Donald Trump is already revealing the names of his future government, each announcement being the subject of numerous comments in the press.
The last sailor to join the ship is perhaps the most surprising: it is Pete Hegseth. The former Fox News host and Army National Guard veteran, who served as an infantryman in Afghanistan, Iraq and Guantanamo Bay, has been tapped for defense secretary.
This appointment, which must still be approved by the Senate, “does not really correspond to the usual rules for selecting a good profile for this position”, comments The New York Times.
Shock at the Pentagon
Pete Hegseth, who came to Fox News as a consultant in 2014, before hosting the show Fox & Friends over the weekend, was congratulated on his appointment by the ultraconservative channel, which described him as“exceptional host”, especially for “his analyzes of the army”.
A long-time supporter of a very traditional concept of the army and known for having “Energetically defended the cause of veterans accused of war crimes”, Pete Hegseth has never hidden his admiration for Donald Trump and his program “America First”, which aims to reduce the United States’ military commitment abroad.
For his part, the ex-president praised Hegseth’s combat experience and his offensive vision of the country’s defense policy: “With Pete at the helm, America’s enemies are on notice: [elle] will never back down”, we read in the press release announcing his choice.
Donald Trump chose to “promote one of its allies in the television sector by placing him at the head of the Pentagon and the 1.3 million active soldiers”, sums up the New York daily life.
“This choice shocked the Pentagon” and the world of American defense specialists, who expected that the nominee for the post would be “an experienced legislator”, or at least “someone with experience in defense policy”, ensures on its part Politico.
Diversity in the army
They especially fear that Trump will try to install the post “a loyalist who will implement his policies without question”. Measures such as “reinstatement of ban on transgender soldiers” or the “reduction of diversity programs within the military”, specifies the American political news site.
“The appointment of Pete Hegseth foreshadows a battle on societal issues within the armed forces, although traditionally one of the institutions most open to diversity in the country,” abounds The Washington Post. And the daily recalls that Pete Hegseth is a fervent detractor of inclusiveness and diversity policies in the army, which he describes as “woke” and who, according to him, “would weaken America’s defenses.”
For the newspaper of the federal capital, this appointment “shows the importance Trump places on television personalities who have used this platform to promote his agenda.”
