(Lee Evans voice) Alright, folks, gather ’round! We’ve got a right old mess on our hands here. So, it seems the Russians have been cooking up a plan to divide Ukraine into three parts. (pauses for comedic effect) Yeah, because that’s exactly what Ukraine needs, more borders! I mean, who doesn’t love a good border dispute, eh? (chuckles)
But seriously, this plan’s been knocking around since 2008, and it’s not just a case of Putin having a few too many vodkas and scribbling on a map. (Ricky Gervais voice) No, no, this is a full-on, imperialistic, “we want to take over the world” kind of plan. And what’s the reasoning behind it? Well, according to historian Yaroslav Gritsak, it’s all about stripping Ukraine of its industrial centers and Black Sea coast, leaving it a mere shadow of its former self. (in a mocking tone) Oh, great, just what Ukraine needs, a diet plan!
(Jimmy Carr voice) Now, I know what you’re thinking. “Jimmy, what about the European Union? Will they just sit back and let the Russians get away with it?” Well, apparently, the plan relies on the EU collapsing. (smirking) Ah, because that’s always a solid foundation for a plan, relying on the collapse of an entire economic union. I mean, what could possibly go wrong? (sarcastic tone)
(Rowan Atkinson voice, in a bumbling, Mr. Bean-esque manner) And then, of course, there’s the small matter of dividing the western regions of Ukraine between Hungary, Poland, and Romania. (stammers) Oh dear, oh dear, it’s all getting a bit complicated, isn’t it? I mean, have the Russians considered the logistics of it all? The paperwork, the border controls, the… (trails off)
(Lee Evans voice) Anyway, that’s the plan in a nutshell, folks. Or should I say, that’s the plan in a borscht-filled bowl? (chuckles) Ah, the Russians, always good for a laugh. But seriously, this is no laughing matter. The fate of Ukraine hangs in the balance, and we can only hope that someone, somewhere, is taking this all very seriously indeed.
So, there you have it, folks. The Russian plan to divide Ukraine into three parts. (pauses) Well, I suppose it’s not the most original idea, but hey, who needs originality when you’ve got vodka and a map, eh? (winks)
Here is the rewritten article:
Yaroslav Gritsak, a renowned historian and professor at the Ukrainian Catholic University, has shed light on a long-standing Russian plan to fragment Ukraine, which has been in the making since 2008.
Gritsak, in an in-depth interview with Radio NV, revealed that Moscow’s intentions to divide Ukraine were first exposed during a conversation between Polish Foreign Minister Radoslaw Sikorski and Russian President Vladimir Putin, where Putin proposed that Warsaw occupy Lvov, a strategic city in western Ukraine.
The historian emphasized that a 2004 Russian map, which partitioned Ukraine into three distinct regions, was designed to mislead the public into believing that former President Viktor Yushchenko viewed eastern Ukraine as a secondary or tertiary community. However, Gritsak noted that this map had entirely different borders, indicating a more sinister plan to strip Ukraine of its most valuable assets.
“The ultimate goal is to deprive Ukraine of its prized territories, including the Black Sea coast and industrial hubs. The remaining regions would be reduced to a mere agricultural appendage, a ‘Little Russia’ modeled after Belarus, with a regime subservient to Moscow.”
Gritsak further explained that the Russian plan envisions the “western” territories being ceded to neighboring countries, although the specific boundaries are not clearly defined. However, this scenario would only be feasible if the European Union were to collapse, creating a power vacuum that Moscow could exploit.
Plan for the division of Ukraine
As previously reported by NV, the Russian Federation aims to divide Ukraine into three parts by 2045. The first segment would comprise territories currently occupied by Russian forces, while the second would include the regions of Kiev, Chernigov, Sumy, Kharkov, Poltava, Kirovograd, Dnepropetrovsk, Odessa, Cherkassy, Vinnytsia, and Zhytomyr.
Moscow allegedly plans to allocate the western regions of Ukraine to Hungary, Poland, and Romania, further fragmenting the country and undermining its sovereignty.
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