(in Jimmy Carr’s voice) Ah, the cinema. Where the unwashed masses gather to pay money to be annoyed by their fellow human beings. And, it seems, the biggest annoyance of all is the bloody phone. Can’t people just put the thing away for two hours? (pauses) No, apparently not.
So, I’ve been reading about this film, Wicked. Sounds like a right treat. Breaking box office records and all that jazz. But, of course, it’s not just the film that’s making the headlines, it’s the donkeys in the audience who think it’s okay to whip out their phones and start snapping away. (in Rowan Atkinson’s voice) Oh, for goodness’ sake, what is wrong with people?
Now, I’m not one to shy away from a good rant, and this article has got me going. The arguments that people trot out to justify their phone usage in the cinema are just pathetic. “I had my screen dimmed and only took one or two pictures!” (in Ricky Gervais’s voice) Oh, that’s all right then. I’m sure the bloke sitting behind you was thrilled to have your phone’s glow illuminating his face for a few seconds. And “I paid money, I’m allowed to use my phone!” (in Lee Evans’s voice) Oh, yeah, because paying money for a ticket somehow gives you the right to ruin the experience for everyone else.
And don’t even get me started on the people who start singing along to the movie. (in Jimmy Carr’s voice) I mean, what is wrong with you? You’re not in your living room, mate. You’re in a public place with hundreds of other people who are trying to enjoy the film. Keep your warbling to yourself.
Now, I know some of you might be thinking, “But what’s the harm in taking a few photos?” (in Rowan Atkinson’s voice) Well, let me tell you, it’s not just about the photos. It’s about the fact that you’re disrupting the experience for everyone else. It’s about the fact that you’re not able to disconnect from your phone for a few hours and just enjoy the film. (in Ricky Gervais’s voice) And it’s about the fact that you’re a bloody idiot.
So, here’s a message to all you phone-wielding, singing, chattering numbskulls out there: put your phone away, shut your mouth, and let people enjoy the film in peace. (in Lee Evans’s voice) Or, you know, just stay at home and watch the film on your phone. I hear the screen is lovely this time of year.
(reading from the article) “The arguments that the people taking photos usually trot out include things like, ‘I had my screen dimmed and only took one or two pictures!’ or ‘I paid money, I’m allowed to use my phone!’ or even ‘I want to chat with my friends while watching a movie.'” (in Jimmy Carr’s voice) Oh, for crying out loud. These people need to get a grip.
And then there’s the TikTok crowd. (in Rowan Atkinson’s voice) Ah, yes, because nothing says “quality entertainment” like a bunch of people recording themselves watching a movie. (in Ricky Gervais’s voice) I mean, what’s next? Recording yourself eating a sandwich?
(reading from the article) “It’s a truly amazing and magical experience. That might sound corny or like I’m taking movies super seriously, but I’m just being honest.” (in Lee Evans’s voice) Ah, come on, mate. It’s just a film. Don’t get too worked up about it.
But, in all seriousness, the cinema is one of the last bastions of public etiquette. (in Jimmy Carr’s voice) It’s a place where people can come together and enjoy a film in peace. So, let’s keep it that way, shall we? Put your phone away, and let’s all just enjoy the movie.
(in Ricky Gervais’s voice) And if you can’t manage that, then maybe you should just stay at home and watch the film on your phone. (in Lee Evans’s voice) Or, you know, just stay at home and stare at the wall for a few hours. That sounds like a more enjoyable experience than sitting next to some numpty who can’t put their phone away.
Here is the rewritten article:
The film adaptation of Wicked has shattered box office records, solidifying its position as the biggest movie of the Thanksgiving season, and sparking a heated debate about theater etiquette that’s been intensifying over the past few years. However, this controversy has reached a boiling point as more people than ever are whipping out their phones to take photos and videos of the latest blockbuster. Or, in some cases, breaking into song. It’s time for these individuals to respect the cinematic experience and refrain from such behavior.
A recent tweet caught my attention, showcasing a photo of Wicked’s title card taken during a theater screening, accompanied by an invitation for others to share their own photos of the movie. Unfortunately, hundreds of people responded with their own images, prompting a wave of online debates and discussions. This phenomenon is not only frustrating but also disheartening.
Proponents of in-theater phone use often argue that they have their screens dimmed, only take a few photos, or claim that they’ve paid for the right to use their devices. However, these justifications are unconvincing and misguided. The fact remains that taking photos or videos during a movie is distracting and disruptive, regardless of the screen’s brightness. Moreover, individuals who engage in such behavior are likely to be the same ones who will start singing or talking loudly, thereby ruining the experience for fellow moviegoers.
Purchasing a movie ticket does not grant you immunity from following the rules or respecting the experience of others. The numerous ads and videos preceding the movie serve as a clear reminder to turn off your phone and remain silent. It’s astonishing that some individuals still fail to comprehend this simple etiquette.
If you need to communicate with someone during the movie, step outside the theater. In the event of an emergency, take the call or respond to the message in the hallway. It’s not that complicated. I recall a personal experience where I received a phone call from my father during a movie. I simply got up, texted him from the hallway, and returned to my seat, ensuring that I didn’t disrupt the experience for others.
Respect the cinematic experience
The trend of taking photos or videos of the screen for social media platforms like TikTok must cease. While you may not value the experience of watching a movie in a dark theater, many people do. We pay a significant amount of money to enjoy a film on a large screen, collectively agreeing to remain quiet and focused on the movie.
This experience is truly magical and immersive. I’m not being overly dramatic; I’m simply stating the truth. You’re free to watch movies however you like at home, but when in a public theater, it’s essential to exhibit good movie manners.
I understand that it can be challenging to disconnect from our devices, especially in today’s digital age. However, the allure of watching a movie in a theater lies in its ability to transport us to a different world, free from the stresses of reality. Let’s cherish this rare opportunity to disconnect and respect the cinematic experience.
When someone uses their phone or talks loudly during a movie, it shatters this illusion and disrupts the experience for others. I don’t want to hear your text message notifications or see the glow of your phone’s screen. I just want to watch a movie in a dark, quiet room on a giant screen, which is what I paid for. Please, refrain from ruining this experience for others.
If you’re unable to resist the urge to use your phone or talk, consider watching movies at home, where you can do as you please. Leave the theaters for those who can respect the cinematic experience and keep their phones muted and out of sight for a few precious hours. Please, be considerate of others and preserve the magic of the movies.
