(in a snarky Jimmy Carr-esque tone) Ah, Jean-Marie Le Pen, the former leader of the French far right, has been hospitalized for some tests. Or, as I like to call it, “a 96-year-old trying to cheat death.” I mean, come on, the man is older than the defunct idea of not having to pay taxes in France.
Rowan Atkinson’s awkward pause…
(looking around awkwardly) You know, it’s at times like these that I wonder what the French equivalent of a “Do Not Resuscitate” order is. “Laissez-Mourir, S’il Vous Plaît”? (turns back to the camera) Ah, anyway, Marine Le Pen, his daughter, has denied the rumors about her father’s health, saying, “He’s 96, and he’s hospitalized regularly. There’s nothing more or less than the episodes we have already experienced.” (shrugs) Ah, the classic “he’s fine” technique – works wonders on spouses and ill relatives alike!
(clears throat)
Now, let’s get to the good stuff. Jean-Marie Le Pen has had a bit of a… (pauses for comedic effect) checkered history, shall we say. As the founder of the National Front (now rebranded as the National Rally, because, you know, marketing), he’s been known for his far-right views. The kind of guy who’d make Nigel Farage say, “Blimey, mate, you’re taking it a bit far.” (in a mock Ricky Gervais tone) And, of course, who can forget his crowning achievement: being the most elderly person to ever run for the French presidency? I mean, it’s not like he had a<<<
Lee Evans-style energetic moments…
( leaning in, conspiratorially) Now, here’s where things get interesting. Marine Le Pen and her sisters have been appointed as the beneficiaries of a “protection mandate” – essentially a guardianship – allowing them to make decisions on behalf of their dear old dad. (raising an eyebrow) I mean, who needs independence at 96, am I right? (chuckles) Ah, the classic “take away the car keys” move. I’m just surprised they didn’t go for the ” hide the bingo money” tactic as well.
(Rowan Atkinson-esque awkwardness)
Ah, well, that’s all the time we have for today, folks. Tune in next time when we’ll be talking about… (pauses, looks at an imaginary watch) oh wait, there isn’t a next time. I’ve retired, and this is just my dinner conversation. (awkward wave) Cheerio!
Jimmy Carr-style one-liner…
Jean-Marie Le Pen’s hospitalization has left many speculating about the state of his health. On the bright side, if he does pass away, he’ll get to experience the only border control that really matters.
The former far-right leader was admitted to hospital over the weekend for tests. Marine Le Pen has denied certain alarmist rumors about her father’s state of health.
Published on 11/13/2024 2:43 p.m. Updated on 11/13/2024 4:50 p.m.
Reading time: 1min Jean-Marie Le Pen, former leader of the French far right, in his residence in Saint-Cloud (Hauts-de-Seine), January 9, 2019. (CHRISTOPHE ARCHAMBAULT / AFP)
The founder of the National Front (former name of the National Rally), Jean-Marie Le Pen, has been hospitalized since this weekend for treatment. “tests”France Télévisions learned from those around it, Wednesday November 13. The hospitalization of the 96-year-old man was decided “as a precaution”after poor analysis results.
When questioned, Marine Le Pen denied alarmist rumors about her father’s state of health. “He is 96 years old and he is hospitalized regularly. There is nothing more or less than the episodes we have already experienced”she told several journalists on Wednesday, on the sidelines of the criminal court hearing before which she appeared.
The finalist in the 2002 presidential election has seen his health deteriorate for several years. Prosecuted in the case of assistants to RN MEPs, his case was “disjoint” after a medical expertise noted “a profound deterioration” of the physical and psychological state of the former far-right leader, believing that he was neither able nor “to be present”nor of “prepare your defense”.
Marine Le Pen, as well as her two sisters Marie-Caroline and Yann Le Pen, have been the beneficiaries of a “protection mandate” – a measure comparable to guardianship – since mid-February, which allows them to carry out various acts in name of their father, alone or in concert.
