Breaking News: Luca Witzke Off to Flensburg-Handewitt – But Not Before a Teary Goodbye
Ah, the old "I’m leaving, but don’t worry, I’ll still try my best for the rest of the season" speech. How touching. How heartfelt. How utterly predictable. (Ricky Gervais voice) You know, I’ve seen more convincing performances from a sleepy accountant at a company Christmas party.
But seriously, folks, SC DHfK Handball’s playmaker extraordinaire, Luca Witzke, is ditching the Leipzig crew for the illustrious SG Flensburg-Handewitt after the 2024/25 season. Now, we’re not ones to gossip (Jimmy Carr voice), but we hear the lure of Flensburg’s impressive handball pedigree and the promise of a two-year contract was just too tempting to resist. Who wouldn’t want to join the German handball elite, eh? (Lee Evans voice) I mean, it’s not like he’s going for the €50,000 signing-on fee… allegedly.
But let’s get to the emotional farewell, shall we? Witzke’s parting words are enough to melt the coldest of hearts: "I felt an incredible amount of trust during my time here in Leipzig, and grew as a player and person… I have given everything for this club in recent years, and that is exactly how I want to continue until the end of my contract: with full motivation and the drive to win as many games as possible."
(Rowan Atkinson voice, in his best Mr. Bean tone) Oh, dear, dear, dear. One does get the feeling he’s been practicing that speech in front of the mirror, doesn’t one? "I’m a top player, you know… (looks around) I’ve got feelings… (wipes away a tear) Oh, and I’ll still try really hard, I promise!" Now, let’s not be too mean; the chap has had an impressive career thus far. With 456 goals and 37 assists under his belt, he’s certainly given Leipzig their money’s worth.
And, hey, we can’t begrudge the guy his move to Flensburg. After all, as the great philosopher, Lee Evans, once said, "If you’re good enough, you’re old enough… and if you’re old enough, you’re good enough… or something." (Lee Evans chuckles) Sorry, mate, I digress.
So, there you have it, folks. Luca Witzke is off to pastures new, but not before he tows the company line and promises to give it his all for the rest of the season. Ah, the drama, the intrigue, the rock-solid prose… we can barely contain ourselves. Do stay tuned for more handball shenanigans, won’t you?
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About Luca Witzke
For those who want to delve into the staggering stats and remarkable history of this handball virtuoso:
- Age: 25 (but probably older by the time you read this)
- National Team Appearances: 36
- SC DHfK Handball games: 135
- Goals Scored: 456
- Assists: 37 (in the current season alone)
And there you have it – the Story of Luca Witzke: A Trafford of Triumph and Teary Goodbyes. Try saying that five times fast, and you’ll need a throat lozenge. (Jim Car- vật r-esqistry donated suggestion voice)
Here is the rewritten article:
26. Nov 2024
Star Playmaker Luca Witzke to Depart SC DHfK Handball for SG Flensburg-Handewitt at Season’s End.
After a successful six-year stint at SC DHfK Leipzig, the 25-year-old Olympic silver medalist is taking the next step in his illustrious career, signing a two-year contract with one of Germany’s most renowned handball teams. With 36 appearances for the German national team under his belt, Witzke’s move is a testament to his growth from a talented young player to a seasoned top-flight handballer.
During his time in Leipzig, Witzke developed into a crucial component of the team and a mainstay of the German national handball team, and he reflected on this period with pride and appreciation. “The trust I received during my time here in Leipzig was incredible, and I’m grateful for the opportunity to have grown both as a player and as a person,” he said, his voice filled with emotion. “I appreciate the motivation and support from the fans, which helped me push myself to achieve top performance over the years.”
Witzke has already made a significant impact in the current season, scoring 53 goals and providing 37 assists. His impressive career statistics for SC DHfK Leipzig include 456 goals in 135 competitive games. The talented backcourt player began his handball journey at Hülser SV at the age of five, moving through TUSEM Essen, TV Alderkerk, and ART Düsseldorf before joining SC DHfK Leipzig, where he rapidly became an integral part of the team and made his debut for the German national team in 2021.
As Luca Witzke prepares to embark on a new chapter in his career, SC DHfK Handball extends its best wishes for his future endeavors and looks forward to continuing their collaboration for the remainder of the 2024/25 season!
