Dear Eric: My husband doesn’t reside in the country where he was born. In an effort to nurture family relationships, I have made it a priority to connect with his relatives. Over the years, we have enjoyed exchanges of visits, alternating between their home and ours. Recently, his cousin expressed a desire for us to maintain communication through WhatsApp, and her husband also requested to join the conversation. This seemed like a great opportunity for bonding!
Unfortunately, her approach to the app is overwhelming; she uses it as a platform to share every TikTok video that captures her interest, along with an abundance of prayers and inspirational quotes found online. As a dedicated Christian, I genuinely cherish my faith and the messages I receive, but I find it excessive to receive 12 messages each day on various subjects—from anyone, regardless of their intent.
Given that my own family maintains a close bond, I am hesitant to sever the few connections my husband has with his extended family. However, the prospect of being ensnared in his cousin’s relentless distribution loop is causing me significant stress.
– WhatsApprehension
Dear WhatsApprehension: It seems we are in dire need of a global conference dedicated to chat etiquette. The sheer volume of memes and unsolicited content has spiraled out of control.
You have a variety of options available to manage this situation. If the cousin is directly sending you an excessive number of memes and videos, you could gently ask her to remove you from the distribution list, citing reasons such as conserving your data, reducing notifications, or simply minimizing distractions. It’s difficult for anyone to take offense when you explain that your capacity—either mental or technological—doesn’t allow for every online offering.
Another practical solution would be to mute her messages for a designated period. You can opt to check back in when you feel ready to communicate or if you suddenly find a craving to indulge in several hours of TikToks. There are, of course, potential drawbacks to this approach—what happens if she sends a crucial message during the flood of content? However, I’ve noticed that individuals who treat these messaging platforms as a space for curating their own digital libraries generally do not expect a prompt response to each individual post.
One of WhatsApp’s most beneficial features is the ability to mute notifications for a specific duration—be it eight hours, a week, or until you choose to unmute. If interacting feels too overwhelming, consider taking week-long breaks and then checking in on the prayer links every Sunday when you’re a bit more prepared for engagement.
(Send questions to R. Eric Thomas at eric@askingeric.com or P.O. Box 22474, Philadelphia, PA 19110. Follow him on Instagram and sign up for his weekly newsletter at rericthomas.com.)
**Interview with Eric – Navigating WhatsApp Communication Etiquette**
**Interviewer:** Thank you for joining us today, Eric. We’ve just read a story from someone struggling with communication through WhatsApp, particularly with a relative who floods their chat with messages. What are your thoughts on this situation?
**Eric:** Thanks for having me! It’s definitely a common issue many people face in the digital age. While platforms like WhatsApp serve to connect us, they can also lead to overwhelming amounts of content, especially when some users don’t practice digital etiquette.
**Interviewer:** The person mentions enjoying their faith but feeling overwhelmed by the volume of messages. How can someone find a balance in such situations?
**Eric:** It’s crucial to set boundaries. The individual can communicate their preferences clearly with their relative—perhaps suggesting that they share significant messages rather than a continuous stream of content. It might also help to express appreciation for the inspirational messages while gently indicating that fewer messages would be more welcome.
**Interviewer:** Good point! In light of recent discussions around user data and privacy on platforms like WhatsApp, what should users keep in mind when engaging in these conversations?
**Eric:** Absolutely, privacy should always be a consideration. While WhatsApp is dedicated to protecting user data by scrutinizing government requests for information, people should also be cautious about the content they share in group chats. It’s essential to remember that once something is shared, it can be spread beyond your control.
**Interviewer:** What tools or features can WhatsApp users utilize to manage their chats better?
**Eric:** WhatsApp offers several options, such as muting chats, managing notifications, or even creating separate groups for different topics of interest. Users can also consider turning off the auto-download feature to prevent their phones from being cluttered with unwanted media.
**Interviewer:** Those are practical tips! what’s your overall message to someone feeling stressed about their WhatsApp communication?
**Eric:** Communication should enhance relationships, not create stress. If a chat becomes burdensome, it’s essential to address it. Don’t hesitate to have an open conversation about chat preferences and boundaries, ensuring that the app remains a tool for connection rather than a source of anxiety.
**Interviewer:** Wise words, Eric. Thank you for your insight!
