FC Groningen’s Cup Journey – Sunshines, Hattricks, and a Dash of Humor!
Tuesday, October 29, 2024 – 10:53 PM
Well, well, well, if it isn’t FC Groningen making headlines again! And by headlines, I mean “Groningen Defeats Amateur Side Kolping Boys 5-1” – a scoreline that sounds suspiciously like a schoolyard game. Who knew? It appears they handed out a lesson in football 101 as easily as one might hand out candy on Halloween!
The stage was set at the AFAS Training Complex in Wijdewormer—also known as Jong AZ’s usual hangout. You know, it’s a little ironic, isn’t it? A first-division club using someone else’s training ground. Kind of like walking into someone else’s living room, plopping on the couch and opening a bag of chips without so much as a “by your leave.”
First Half Drama
The first half kicked off with the enthusiasm reminiscent of a kid on a sugar high! Just
over five minutes in, Stije Resink scored an absolute belter from 20 meters out! Honestly, I’d like to see Kolping Boys’ keeper try and catch that one; it was like trying to catch a plane without a net!
We were all set up for a classic cup upset! That is, until Kolping Boys decided to take a break from dreaming and woke up just in time for tea. They went into halftime with a score of 0-1, which, let’s be honest, sounded more like the start of a horror movie than a football match!
Second Half Shenanigans
And here’s where it gets interesting! Like a plot twist in a gripping novel, just after the restart, Kolping Boys decided they fancied a proper game. They equalized through Joreno Mandjes, who was probably thinking, “Well, we’re not amateurs at *everything*.” But that was about as good as it got for them. The Groningers weren’t about to let a mere amateur team think they could take them to the cleaners!
A flurry of goals followed, like confetti at a wedding – beautiful, and utterly uncontrollable! Rui Mendes gave the visitors the lead again, followed by a dazzling performance from Thijs Oosting, scoring not one, not two, but three goals! A hat trick! That’s not just a good day; that’s an “I’m buying my own drinks at the pub” day!
The Scoreline Speaks Volumes
So, the final score reading 1-5 could only tell us one thing – there were amateurs, and then there were front-row sitters in the cup of dreams! FC Groningen stamped their ticket into the next round (*cue dramatic movie music*).
To round things up nicely, we ought to reflect on how this match echoes previous victories, like that strange time a decade ago when they smashed Flevo Boys 1-8. Perhaps the Pride of the North likes to bully amateurs once a decade? Maybe there’s a ritual involved…
Key Statistics
KOLPING BOYS – FC GRONINGEN
- 6. Resink 0-1
- 51. Mandjes (Baskets) 1-1
- 58. Mendes 1-2
- 73. Oosting 1-3
- 85. Oosting 1-4
- 94. Oosting 1-5
Referee: Laurens Gerrets
FC Groningen Line-up
Jurjus; Stam, Rente, Blokzijl, Prins (59. Bacuna); Mendes (59. Valente), Pelupessy, Resink, Hove (46. Schreuders); Postema (75. Van Bergen) and Oosting
In conclusion, my dear readers, FC Groningen is through to the next round, bringing both joy and laughter to their supporters while leaving Kolping Boys with nothing more than a humorous anecdote for the pub. And remember, in football, you’re either the hammer or the nail. Today, FC Groningen was swinging that proverbial hammer harder than Thor on a Monday morning!
