When the Red & Black Met the Toulouse Titans
Ah, rugby! A sport where the only thing more entertaining than the scores is the commentary that follows them! This past Saturday, the Red & Black ventured to the Toulouse Stadium, perhaps hoping to trade in their crimson for some Toulouse blue, but instead got thrashed in a performance that resembled a game of keep-away. The score? A jaw-dropping 57 to 5. Yes, that’s right, five! It’s almost as if the scoreboard had just one job and didn’t bother to show up!
It all kicked off with an immediate flash of excitement—or as close to excitement as you can get when one of your players, Marius House, just seconds into the game, decides the best defense is a good yellow card. His tackle on Thomas Ramos was either an aggressive move to gain an early advantage or a misguided audition for a role in a wrestling movie. Either way, the Toulonnais found themselves down to 14 players before they could even break a sweat. And let’s be honest—at this point, they probably should have just turned around and gone home.
But courage they had! Despite being a player down, the Red & Black managed to give us a glimmer of hope. They were first to appear dangerous, but the Maxime Petitjean brigade failed to score when it actually counted. In rugby, as in life, knowing when to take your shot can either make you a hero or leave you open to more embarrassment than a dad dance at a wedding.
Then came Juan Cruz Mallia with the first try for Toulouse, effortlessly bringing the score to 7-0 at the 20-minute mark. The man must have been seeing the field like a hawk on a hunting spree! Another try followed by Ange Capuozzo, bounding over like he had springs for legs, pushed the score to 12-0 before half-time was even doused in its own theatrics. It was like watching a child being handed a piñata; the only difference is that in this case, the only thing that broke was the Toulonnais‘ spirits!
Heading into the break, the score was 15-5. A small consolation, yes, but that try from Gianmarco Lucchesi at the end of the first period seemed like an alarmingly bold act of optimism in an otherwise dire situation. You could sense the team morale was high—probably because they hadn’t yet realized the storm that was brewing on the other side of halftime.
And what a storm it was! Coming back with the zeal of a caffeinated squirrel, Toulouse made their intentions clear just moments after the break. Ange Capuozzo scored again, and in the blink of an eye, it was 22-5. At this point, even the scoreboard seemed to enjoy the show, lighting up with joy as if saying, “Why don’t you give your best shot, Toulonnais?” And boy, didn’t they try! But with the historic powerhouses of Toulouse running riot, it was less rugby and more of a masterclass in how to dismantle an overrated IKEA shelf.
Then came a wave of tries flooding in like a kid with a squirt gun at a block party. Anthony Jelonch and his glorious mix-up in front of the goal line led to another score, swiftly followed by a staggeringly delightful duplication from Juan Cruz Mallia. Was that a try at 55′? Yes, indeed! So fast it was, I’d suggest they order a whole new level of defenders from the Home Depot! And let’s not forget Jelonch again, who seemed to have taken a personal vendetta against the goalposts, scoring a second time before anyone could ask for a time-out.
Try as they might, the Toulonnais couldn’t catch a break. A potential try from Teddy Baubigny was disposed of like yesterday’s takeout in a fit of video arbitration drama. The final nail in their coffin came courtesy of Ange Capuozzo‘s hat-trick, with a flourish served on a silver platter by Joshua Brennan, bringing this illustrious encounter to a glorious end at 57-5.
So, what do we learn from this spectacular display? Well, it might be safe to say that the Toulonnais need to wipe the dust off their tactics book and perhaps give their defense a good old pep talk. As they prepare for their next match against LOU Rugby at the Mayol Stadium on Saturday, November 2, one can only hope they’ve been practicing…or else we might just find them on another shopping spree down the road at ‘How To Lose a Game 101’.
In sports, as in life, you either win or you learn. And if nothing else, the Red & Black learned that Toulouse doesn’t play—it feasts!
After a victory at home against Montpellier, our Red & Black traveled to the Toulouse Stadium to face the Toulouse Stadium in conclusion this eighth day of Top 14. For this first clash of the season between these two teams, it is the men ofHugo Mola who win with the offensive bonus in front of their audience on the score of 57 to 5.
As soon as the kick-off was given, Marius House plaque Thomas Ramos in the air and receives a yellow card. THE Toulonnais are then at 14 after only thirty seconds of play. Despite the numerical inferiority, our Varois are the first to appear dangerous but the players of Maxime Petitjean don’t take points when they should. They also hold up in defense and do not take points while our team is at 14 (11′, 0-0). The pack Toulonnais got caught a few minutes later in a scrum in the 22 of the RCT et Juan Cruz Mallia takes the opportunity to score the first try of the match for the Toulouse Stadium (20′, 7-0). The players ofHugo Mola doubled the lead after half an hour of play with a try in the corner ofAnge Capuozzo (30′, 12-0).
Nos Red & Black react at the end of the first period with an attempt to Gianmarco Lucchesi which allows Toulon to reduce the score (39′, 15-5). It’s the break Toulouse and the Rugby Club Toulonnais is led by ten points (40′, 15-5).
Back from the locker room, Toulouse mark the entry with the double ofAnge Capuozzo who score at the end of the line (43′, 22-5). We’re not far from a second try this evening but Gianmarco Lucchesi falls on a big Toulouse defense and is unable to flatten the ball (49′, 22-5). In less than ten minutes, Toulouse mark three times. Anthony Jelonchwho has just entered the field, takes advantage of a mix-up in front of the goal line of the RCT to score the fourth try of the match for Toulouse (51′, 29-5). The fifth arrives four minutes later with a second double of the evening, that of Juan Cruz Malliawho takes the interval in the Var defense and will flatten the ball in the in-goal (55′, 36-5). Anthony Jelonch He also scored a double in the hour of play (60′, 43-5).
Nos Toulonnais try to react and think of scoring a second try thanks to Teddy Baubignybut this is canceled after video arbitration (62′, 43-5). Ange Capuozzo scored a hat-trick and Joshua Brennan mark the eighth and final try for Toulouse (79′, 57-5). Nos Red & Black undergo the law of Toulouse and bow heavily on the lawn of the Toulouse Stadium (80′, 57-5)
Nos Red & Black will now prepare for the reception of the LOU Rugbyce Saturday November 2 has 16h30 au Mayol Stadiumbefore resting during the international break.