Let’s Dive into the Hodgepodge that is Conclave
So, here we are, nestled into the cushy realm of cinema with the latest offering, Conclave. Strap in, folks! They say it’s a papal psychological thriller, but it seems more like a papal psychological blunder—about as thrilling as watching paint dry on a Sistine Chapel restoration.
Now, you’d think a film teetering on the edge of so much serious discussion could stand tall, but I wouldn’t be surprised if it trips over its own robe. The review begins by tickling your intellect with a tasty morsel from Hegel about evil being “the gaze that perceives evil everywhere.” It’s a brilliant framework, but honestly, it’s about as relevant to this film as a papal decree in a rock concert. Spoiler: it’s a stretch.
Conclave wants you to think it’s serving up a five-course meal on the complexities of faith, identity, and this gloomy state of the Catholic Church, but what is it really? It’s like being handed a slice of stale wedding cake after dialing for a gourmet feast. Sure, there might be some nice frosting—Stellan Skarsgård’s serene presence and John Lithgow’s sly glances are delightful—but deep down, it’s still your Aunt Marjorie’s fruitcake that nobody wanted.
The ensemble cast reads like a who’s who of Hollywood royalty: Stanley Tucci, Ralph Fiennes, John Lithgow. You think, “Wow, they must have something profound to say!” But the real question looms: is it substance or just a glorified B-movie in fancy dress? I believe it’s the latter. The film’s talismanic theme about good ol’ Cardinal Bellini’s political maneuvering is about as enlightening as a candle in a dark church hall—and not in a good way.
Cardinals Gone Wild: Behavior and Belief
The plot thickens like congealed gravy, pitting the flamboyantly liberal Tucci against the conservative Cardinal Tedesco. Tedesco’s concept of inclusiveness seems akin to a medieval butcher’s guild that only lets in people who can play the organ. In a nutshell, it’s a feast of hypocrisy served on a single plate marked ‘Passion Faulted.’
It seems the conclave is less about serene religious discourse and more about who can out-gossip whom, which is painfully relatable in a world where even cardinals can’t resist a bit of juicy slander. While it could’ve delved into the philosophical and theological intricacies of faith like it was trying to, instead, it opts for surface-level symbolism reminiscent of a high school debate club.
The Great ‘Certainty is the Enemy’ Speech
Let’s talk about Cardinal Lawrence, played with characteristic gravitas by Ralph Fiennes. The film ostensibly revolves around him grappling with his waning faith and the morality of his peers. At one part, he drops the line, “Certainty is the great enemy of unity.” Where’s the applause, right? But here’s the kicker: he swings between moments of existential dread and flailing convictions that would make a character from Mean Girls look like they’re discussing quantum physics.
Here lies the absurdity—while the message might seem profound, its delivery feels more like a “Pope vs. the World” parody than an earnest exploration of faith. It yearns to be memorable like a classic, yet emerges as a fleeting meme, destined to be shared in a group chat full of emojis rather than philosophical debate.
Spot the Gimmick
By the finale, any deep contemplation we hoped to uncover evaporates into thin air, akin to the proverbial smoke of incense drifting up toward the heavens—hard to see and impossible to touch. A convoluted third act and a metaphor that amounts to little more than a plot twist that feels like a kick in the sacristy leave the audience scratching their heads rather than clutching their pearls.
You see, director Edward Berger has handled much loftier material before. Films like All Quiet on the Western Front provoke thought and emotion, but Conclave? It’s like giving a Ferrari engine to someone who thinks “roadie” refers to their contribution at the last rock gig.
Wrapping It Up
Overall, Conclave ends up being the cinematic equivalent of that friend who insists on having meaningful discussions at the pub after six pints—full of sound and fury, signifying not so much after all. In the end, it’s what I like to call a “five-star, three-star movie”—thrilling in terms of pure ridiculousness, definitely watchable… if you turn your brain off first. And hey, what else could we want from a night at the cinema? Welcome to the Vatican, baby!
Certainly! Here’s a short interview with a guest about the film Conclave.
Interviewer: Welcome to our program! Today, we’re discussing the recent release Conclave, a film that’s been described as a papal psychological thriller but perhaps falls short of its ambitious goals. Joining us is film critic and cultural commentator, Alex Mercer. Alex, thank you for being here!
Alex Mercer: My pleasure! Thanks for having me.
Interviewer: So, let’s dive right in. You seem to think Conclave has some serious shortcomings. Can you elaborate on why you feel it misses the mark?
Alex Mercer: For sure! While it attempts to explore deep themes like faith and identity within the Catholic Church, it unfortunately comes off as more shallow than profound. The film starts with a promising philosophical reference to Hegel, but it quickly feels irrelevant, like trying to fit a square peg into a round hole. It teases intellectual discourse but delivers more theatrics than substance.
Interviewer: You mentioned the stellar cast—Stellan Skarsgård, John Lithgow, and Ralph Fiennes. Did their performances add any weight to the film?
Alex Mercer: Absolutely, they brought their A-game. Skarsgård’s serene presence and Lithgow’s sly glances are nice touches. However, the script doesn’t give them much to work with. It often feels like a glorified B-movie, with powerful performances lost in a sea of unoriginal dialogue and plot twists that don’t land.
Interviewer: Interesting. You’ve touched on the film’s theme of hypocrisy within the church. Can you expand on that?
Alex Mercer: Certainly. The characters, especially the liberal Cardinal Bellini and the conservative Cardinal Tedesco, represent a duality that should provoke thought. Yet, rather than engaging in meaningful theological discussions, the film resorts to gossip and superficial conflict. It makes the conclave feel more like a high school clique than a serious religious discourse, which undermines what it could have achieved.
Interviewer: There’s a pivotal moment when Cardinal Lawrence states, “Certainty is the great enemy of unity.” How do you interpret that within the context of the film?
Alex Mercer: That line is potentially powerful, touching on existential themes of faith and community. However, in Conclave, it doesn’t resonate deeply. The character swings wildly between moments of insight and confusion, and as a result, that profound statement loses its impact. It feels like the filmmakers are trying to hit profound notes without fully committing to the ideas behind them.
Interviewer: It sounds like the film, although attempting to tackle serious subject matter, ultimately leaves the viewer hungry for more. What’s your takeaway?
Alex Mercer: Exactly. Conclave serves up a tantalizing menu of themes but runs out of steam before dessert. It’s neither a feast for the intellect nor an engaging thriller. If you’re looking for depth and insight into the complexities of faith, this film will leave you unsatisfied, like being handed stale cake at a wedding.
Interviewer: Thank you, Alex! Your insights really help illuminate the film’s flaws and missed opportunities.
Alex Mercer: Thank you for having me!
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This short interview format allows for a concise discussion of the film while inviting the guest to share their critiques and insights.
Alex Mercer: That line is meant to carry a lot of weight, as it touches on a profound truth about faith and community. However, in the film, it gets overshadowed by the chaotic execution. Cardinal Lawrence’s character grapples with his faith, but his conflicting emotions become muddled and caricatured. Instead of exploring this tension deeply, it comes off as more comical than philosophical, almost like a parody of the very themes it tries to engage with. Ultimately, it leaves viewers with more questions than insight, making the delivery feel ineffective.
Interviewer: That’s an intriguing critique. Given all these elements, how would you summarize your overall impression of *Conclave*?
Alex Mercer: I would say it’s a case of style over substance. The film has moments that are engaging, especially with such a talented cast, but it ultimately doesn’t live up to its potential. It’s an entertaining watch if you check your critical thinking at the door, but if you’re looking for something profound, you might find yourself disappointed—like ordering a gourmet meal and getting served stale wedding cake instead!
Interviewer: Thank you, Alex! Your insights have certainly shed light on the complexities of *Conclave*. We appreciate you joining us today and sharing your perspective!
Alex Mercer: Thank you for having me! It was a pleasure discussing this intriguing yet flawed film.
