Football Frustrations: A Cheeky Commentary
Is it just me, or is putting a football idea into practice about as feasible as getting a cat to fetch? I mean, scoring in today’s modern football landscape seems to hinge more on the opponent’s blunders rather than our skill. Seriously, with the CPU handing out more wrong passes than a politician at a debate, one must wonder if we’re playing a football game or a comedy sketch!
Now, let’s have a chat about the pace of these games. Ultimate Team, in its infinite glory, is touted as a fast-paced experience. Yet here we are, grappling with a joystick in one hand and a life jacket in the other, thanks to some gloriously slow feedback. It’s like trying to solve a Rubik’s Cube on a roller coaster—by the time you think of a game plan, *ping*—you’ve been mugged by a CPU defender who’s about as forgiving as a bouncer at a nightclub.
I mean, come on! With all this pressing from the CPU and the human contenders acting like they’ve just downed six energy drinks, it’s a wonder we can think straight, let alone mount a decent offensive. It’s like being asked to cook a gourmet meal in a microwave with a broken dial! By the time I’ve decided to attempt a pass, I could’ve just watched an entire series on Netflix. The number of errors during dribbling and passing is enough to make even the calmest of us want to scream into a pillow!
Now, I know what you’re thinking: ‘Isn’t he just being a bit dramatic?’ Well, my dear readers, that’s the wonderful thing about frustration—it brings out the true theatre in us, doesn’t it? I’m not alone in this crusade for a bit of fun on the pitch! We’re in a bizarre limbo; one minute we’re soaring high with a cheeky goal, and the next, we’re left scratching our heads wondering how on earth we ended up on the wrong side of another defeat. It’s a football drama sprinkled with just a hint of tragic comedy.
In a world where we demand more quality on the pitch, would it be too much to ask for a few fewer miraculous saves on *certain* shots? I didn’t think we were playing Football Keepy-Uppy, but judging by some recent matches, that’s what it feels like! I yearn for a callback to the days when defenders had to actually defend, not stand there like pigeons waiting for a bread crumb.
And here it is folks—the kicker! I can’t believe I’m about to say this, but I miss FC24! The games felt like a wild roller coaster rather than a trip through the local park. I once received a shiny premium gold package from EA. Sure, it was like a gift from Santa, but what’s the point when you still end up with more losses than wins? It’s like receiving a box of chocolates, only to find out they’re all filled with someone’s dreams of being a pro footballer—sweet, but ultimately not quite satisfying!
So here’s hoping for less CPU-induced chaos, more player empowerment, and maybe, just maybe, a return to form where football is as glorious as it should be! Remember folks, gaming should be fun, not a relentless cycle of vexation. Until then, I’ll be here, churning through defeat after defeat while waiting for my footballing fairy tale to unfold!
I’m really wondering whether or not it’s possible to put a football idea into practice, because I understand that it’s only possible to score on opponent errors (due to the CPU choosing the receiver of the wrong pass). I want to point out that such a fast game with such slow feedback cannot be considered competitive. The game on Ultimate Team is in itself fast but the time required for the user to think of a feasible solution given the unjustified pressing by the opponent and by the opponent’s CPU and the very high rate of errors during the dribbling and of disengagement, whereupon the player given the command makes the pass, too much time passes in my opinion, causing among many things, many errors in the game, altering the entire course of the match. I hope we can start having fun because then we don’t understand how we managed to win but often lose, there is so much, too much frustration on everyone’s part, including me.
It would be nice to see more quality on the pitch, fewer saves in my opinion on certain shots and less tension on the defensive CPU but greater ability on the part of the player to defend.
I didn’t think I’d ever say this but I’m missing FC24.
I leave you the photo of the gift that EA gave me in a preview of the premium gold package but which however does not change the situation given the countless defeats.
