Murder by Scissors: A Comedic Look at a Very Unfunny Situation
Ah, the tale of Shu Zou and Liu Chongbing, a delightful duo caught in a whirlwind of panic, scissors, and, as one might say, a really bad day at the office. Honestly, it reads like the plot of a cringe-worthy sitcom, albeit one that took a sharp turn when things escalated from a casual game of ‘grab the scratch cards’ to ‘who knew scissors could be so deadly?’
Now, let’s set the scene: it’s early morning in Milan, two chaps are attempting what they believe will be a minor heist; swipe a few scratch cards, grab a coffee, and head home – easy peasy, right? Except, surprise, surprise! Enter stage left: the furious owner armed with a pair of scissors and a vendetta! It’s like “Home Alone” meets “The Godfather,” but with less planning and unfortunately more bloodshed.
Shu Zou, bless him, clearly misjudged the situation when he “pounced” – presumably like a graceful gazelle – but instead ended up with a murder charge and possibly a new career in horror movies. I mean, who brings scissors to a knife fight? Well, it’s not like they were expecting a full-on brawl; it was meant to be a simple robbery. But the moment that alarm went off – a sign that someone didn’t read the memo on “How to Successfully Steal Scratch Cards” – well, that’s when panic set in.
Now, according to the prosecutor, there were over thirty wounds on Mr. Di Ronza. Thirty! That’s a lot more than any life-threatening injury one expects from a pair of kitchen scissors. You know you’re in a serious pickle when the medical examiner is counting wounds like it’s the score in a game of darts. “What’s that, 36 wounds? Oh, but you missed the shoulder! Do you even lift, bro?”
But here’s where it gets particularly juicy – our friends Shu and Liu claim self-defense. I mean, of course! Who wouldn’t grab scissors when someone threatens to kill you? Clearly, that’s the go-to move! Forget pepper spray or a solid alibi, just whip out those trusty kitchen tools. Because nothing says "fear" quite like a sharp pair of shears. It’s practically a horror film concept that was too bizarre even for Hollywood.
And let’s not ignore the underlying theme of these hard-working folks feeling they’ve lost everything to an “archenemy” thief. Really, it’s enough to draw a tear. They’ve been victimized, left with nothing but negative emotions, scissors, and a judge who’s apparently far too lenient. House arrest for a brutal murder? Imagine that. “Yeah, Judge, I was overwhelmed by feelings of anger and frustration. Can I get a time-out instead of prison?”
It’s quite the convoluted justification when you think about it. “Oh, dear me, I couldn’t control myself with all this ‘negative emotion’ swirling about. Next time I’ll just stab the ticket with a pen!” Ah yes, someone call Hallmark, I think we have a new category for their cards – “Sorry for the 36 stabs, I was feeling a bit emotional.”
And while it’s clear that the judge found room to empathize with the emotional upheaval, the prosecutor’s point about this can lead to repeated violent behavior is like waving a red flag in front of a bull. These are the moments where one must slap a warning label on situations like this – “May cause uncontrollable urges to stab unless temporarily incapacitated by law…”
In conclusion, while we can chuckle about the absurdity of how this whole mess unfolded, it’s pretty sobering to reflect on how quickly things spiraled into chaos. So, my advice? Next time you’re feeling the urge to defend your scratch card collection, maybe just stick with a good ol’ fashioned broom! Or better yet, a solid customer service policy.
Because in the end, reality can be far scarier than any comedy skit. We’ve got to ask ourselves: Is it worth the risk of narrowing the competition for “Most Unfortunate Crime Scene of the Year?” I think we can all agree, a pair of scissors probably isn’t the best tool for the job!
It is not “legitimate defense” and was motivated by “a total loss of self-control”, however the crime “happened in a particular context”, since the two arrested had “just suffered a theft which, according to what was declared, was only the latest in a long series.”
«NEGATIVE EMOTION»
Therefore no prison for Shu Zou, thirty years old, and his uncle Liu Chongbing, forty-nine years old, accused of having killed Eros Di Ronza, 37 years old and with several criminal records, with scissors, who at dawn on Thursday entered their bar in via Cermenate and grabbed a bundle of “Scratch cards”. The investigating judge Tiziana Gueli, validating the arrest for voluntary homicide, ordered house arrest. Di Ronza and his accomplice who acted as a lookout imagined it would be an easy robbery: a diner on an avenue on the southern outskirts of Milan, a jack to force the shutter, a safe loot. Instead the alarm sounds, the owner’s husband and nephew come running, Shu Zou grabs a pair of scissors and pounces on Di Ronza, attacking the legs that protrude from the doorway of the club, chasing him and finishing him when he falls to the ground. A murder of marked brutality, according to prosecutor Maura Ripamonti who requested precautionary custody in prison for the two Chinese. Rejected by the investigating judge, who traces the gesture back to the series of reactions of those who feel they have lost everything: a “manifestation of anger and frustration”, he writes in the order validating the arrest, in seeing “once again the fruit of one’s job disappear in an instant, with consequent huge financial damage”. The uncle and nephew, the judge points out, were not “able to manage this negative emotion with the necessary clarity and rationality”, letting it “take over”. It was Shu who called for help and immediately confessed: “It was me.” The “state of shock” in which they were found by the police immediately after the murder, for the judge, testifies to “the awareness and desperation” for having committed “such a serious act that perhaps they themselves did not consider possible”. However, the “crude dynamics of the fact” and “the intensity of the aggression” lead us to believe that there is a danger of repetition of the crime, as “there was a total loss of self-control in a dimension of taking the law into one’s own hands that is not admissible in our legal system”.
OVER THIRTY WOUNDS
In the validation interrogation the two Chinese defended themselves. Shu Zou’s version: «I saw that man and asked him what he was doing, he told me to go away otherwise he would kill me. When I left the house I took some scissors because I was afraid someone would hurt me. I chased him, he attacked me and out of fear I hit him.” The medical examiner counted 36 wounds: the body had a “graze” on the head, a scissors cut “on the neck” and at least 17 on the chest, sides and back, as well as nine on the “upper limbs” and the same number on the legs. “Although considering the particularity of the context and the action carried out in a state of anger, the disproportion of the reaction cannot fail to be underlined”, highlighted the prosecutor. An element which, according to the investigators, “leads to support the inability of self-control on the part of those arrested and a certain tendency to resort to violence as a form of personal justice”. Two people, according to the Prosecutor’s Office, socially dangerous.
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