The Dutch Delight: Top Scorers Against the Netherlands
When it comes to international football, few things are as predictable as the fact that the Netherlands will play against some of the best footballers in the world. It’s like watching a toddler playing with a puppy—adorable but a tad painful! You know the ball is going to end up lodged somewhere it shouldn’t be, and you’re just left standing there, wondering how on Earth we got here.
Kylian Mbappé: The Phantom Menace of Dutch Defense!
First up, we have the French superstar, Kylian Mbappé. This chap has played five matches against the Dutch team and has proven to be as problematic as a mosquito in a camping tent! With his devilish acceleration and sly footwork, he’s given defenders more headaches than a pub crawl. The last time he was supposed to terrorize the Dutch was during the last European Championship in Germany, but—get this—he spent the entire match on the bench nursing a broken nose! That proves one thing: even the best can have a bad day!
Cristiano Ronaldo: The Repeat Offender!
Ah, Cristiano Ronaldo—what can we say about him? The man is to scoring against the Netherlands what a vending machine is to snacks: reliable at the worst times! The Al-Nassr star has a penchant for important matches; he scored against us in the semi-finals of the 2004 European Championships and again in 2012 with a delightful brace—a hat-trick by the time you’ve counted friendlies. It’s like he has a special Dutch scoring pass! Next time a friendly rolls around, let’s double-check the Alex Reed list; we wouldn’t want to provide him with *any* more opportunities.
Balász Dzúdzák: The Enemy Within?
Then we have Balász Dzúdzák, a former PSV player who probably thought he had some sort of lease on our defense considering he scored three times against us. The irony? Each of those goals came in matches that the Dutch snugly lost. I mean, scoring three times while losing all five games—it’s like being the only person to show up at a party but no one wants to talk to you! Currently, Balász is back in Hungary, where hopefully, his scoring record remains as one-sided as it was during his time with us.
Antoine Griezmann: The One That Got Away?
Speaking of greats, let’s not forget Antoine Griezmann. After announcing his retirement from the French team, he leaves us with memories—three friendly goals to be precise! One of those goals was a free kick that had more curve than a Beckham special. So naturally, we were left gaping at the crossbar like lost tourists in Amsterdam. The Dutch national team can finally breathe a sigh of relief that they won’t have to spend time plotting against him. Hooray for small mercies!
Gylfi Sigurdsson: The Icelandic Vengeance!
And who could forget Gylfi Sigurdsson? The Icelandic top scorer has scored three goals against the Netherlands, and all during the European Championship qualifiers in 2015. Not only did he enjoy his little romp, but those wins also kept the Netherlands out of the 2016 European Championships. Talk about a horror movie twist! The only thing scarier than a Viking is a Viking standing between you and your dreams of European glory!
So there we have it, dear readers! The Netherlands may have a rich footballing history, but it sure comes with its fair share of nemeses. These world-class talents remind us that whether it’s Kylian, Cristiano, or even Gylfi, they all have a story to tell—one filled with smirks and goals that send Dutch hearts a fluttering. Here’s hoping the next chapter is a little less about our misfortune and a lot more about Dutch success!
