Jonathan David: The Iceman of Penalties
You know, they say taking penalties is like playing the lottery. Unfortunately, though, we’ve all seen that guy who buys a lottery ticket expecting to win big but ends up with a scratch-off ticket for ten cents – just a little less than you’d actually win if you rifled through the couch cushions! Well, for Jonathan David, the Canadian sensation gracing the pitch for LOSC, taking penalties is less about luck and more about ice-cold calmness and a whole lot of practice. Forget the lottery – this guy’s playing chess while others are playing checkers!
It was the dreary month of April 2024 when LOSC faced off against Aston Villa in a nail-biting penalty shootout that would leave any fan contemplating their life choices. The match ended 2-1 in favor of Villa, but the real drama unfolded when it came down to penalties: 3-4 on the shootout! Gabriel Gudmundsson, bless his heart, summed it up perfectly when he said, “It’s difficult to digest after these penalties. It’s a lottery…” But come on, Gab! Not every loss can be blamed on a spin of the wheel in a casino. If you’re looking to throw your 2 euros into a slot machine, at least buy a drink while you’re at it!
Now, while Gudmundsson was lamenting about the cruel hand of fate, Jonathan David was over there, channeling his inner superhero with his cool nickname – The Iceman. You see, David isn’t just chilling on the pitch; he’s melting pressure! Since he joined LOSC, he’s transformed penalties into a slightly less thrilling version of a Speed Training session. And can you blame him? Who wouldn’t want to trade the pressure of a stadium full of fans with the pristine, judgment-free zone of a training ground?
David’s Penalty Prowess
Let’s throw out some numbers for you – Jonathan has attempted a whopping 24 penalties for the Mastiffs. And let’s say he’s not just some lucky guy hitting the ball at random! He’s scored 20 out of those! I mean, 83.3% success rate? That percentage is higher than the interest rate on your grandma’s savings account! Sure, he has three that were denied by goalkeepers and one rebounded back into the fray, but those are just details, right? Like immediately tossing extra cheese onto your pizza delivery order at 1 AM!
But wait, there’s more! In a recent Champions League showdown, David not only faced Dibu Martinez, he utterly obliterated him, also becoming the first Mastiff player to convert a penalty against the Argentine goalkeeping wall. So, what’s his not-so-lucky secret? According to David, it’s simple: “I practice a lot on penalties in training. I work on them constantly…” It’s literally as if he’s saying, “This is my jam, folks!” Concentration and calm are what makes the Iceman more of a smooth criminal than just a guy with a good aim. Anyone who thinks penalties are a lottery should take note – not every person with a tight end is going to end up in Vegas with a jackpot!
JONATHAN DAVID OPENS THE SCORE FOR LILLE! The Lille player does not tremble and converts his penalty after a hand from Camavinga 😍 #LOSCRMA | #UCL pic.twitter.com/yeHdiMcXJK
— CANAL+ Foot (@CanalplusFoot) October 2, 2024
So, as the people of Lille bask in the glow of their Iceman, let us celebrate the reality of Jonathan David: a player who takes penalties seriously, transforms practice into performance, and laughs in the face of those who dare call penalties a game of chance. If only we all could be as composed as him when faced with pressure… or the last slice of pizza!
This style reflects the perspectives, wit, and signature styles of Carr, Atkinson, Gervais, and Evans. It’s humorous, sharp, observational, and peppered with a bit of irreverence, while also providing engaging content about Jonathan David.
Jonathan David once again shows this season with LOSC his skill in taking penalties. What is his secret? Calmness and a little work…
During the month of April, in 2024, LOSC lost in its duel with Aston Villa at the end of a meeting with a cruel outcome, the scenario of which ended on penalties (2-1, 3-4 tab). At the final whistle, Gabriel Gudmundsson let his pain speak: “It’s difficult to digest after these penalties. It’s a lottery and we did everything we could today, you could see it on the pitch.”repeated the Swede, inconsolable like all of his teammates that evening.
The term “lottery” was then used, a (too) simplistic definition of a penalty or a shot on goal which sometimes comes back (too) often following a particularly stubborn setback. However, a member of the Lille squad contradicts this ready-made expression. This is Jonathan David, nicknamed Iceman for his composure in front of the cages. It must be said that he has continued to excel in this exercise since his arrival at LOSC.
In total, the Canadian attempted 24 penalties for the Mastiffs, including a very recent one sent into the back of the net during the victorious reception (1-0) of Real Madrid in the Champions League. Of these 24 attempts, 20 were converted without the slightest difficulty, three were stopped (Celtic in October 2020, Nantes in November 2021 and Ajaccio in August 2022) and a last one was converted afterwards, after a first save by the goalkeeper ( Le Havre in 2024). Thus, Jonathan David displays a success percentage of 83.3% in the exercise, which makes him, without a doubt, one of the luckiest men on the globe.
In April 2024, Jonathan David had also transformed his attempt, the first Mastiff to thwart Dibu Martinez’s plans. So what is his secret? “I practice a lot on penalties in traininghe told us in the mixed zone following LOSC’s historic success in the Champions League. I work on them constantly so for me, even when I’m in the middle of a match, it’s as if I was in a classic session, in training. […] I just try to concentrate and calm down to make sure I hit the ball where it needs to be. You really have to stay focused”explained the Canadian. Which goes to show that even “luck” is not something innate.
JONATHAN DAVID OPENS THE SCORE FOR LILLE!
The Lille player does not tremble and converts his penalty after a hand from Camavinga 😍#LOSCRMA | #UCL pic.twitter.com/yeHdiMcXJK
— CANAL+ Foot (@CanalplusFoot) October 2, 2024
